So current partner and I have had sex about id say 10 or so times on random nights, for about 6 months now. Neither of us have been seeking something serious however true to my beliefs and what all my girlfriends tell me you can never have just sex and have no feelings come about. I feel I am falling for him. And how I know why is that I'm aways wondering what he could be doing on days when he knows what I am doing, my birthday was 2 days ago and he texted me happy birthday he remembered my birthday and told me he wanted to celebrate when he got back from vacation hes been on this whole weekend. I dont know what to do because he never has girlfriends, just girls he has sex with for periods of time. (a fact that he admitted to me) So I was jw what everyone thought should I stop wasting my time on something that never may never be serious or should I take a chance at rejection and tell him how Ive been feeling? (something I have never been the first to say)

Well, first off, you knew what this was when u got into it...just a casual sexual relationship.
Why ruin a good thing? You're enjoying yourself, he is also...

How would u like it, if you only wanted sex and then the guy get's all lovey dovey on you? You'd bail! Cuz it wasn't what you were after.

If u do this, you have the risk of
A-scaring him off.

B-Forcing him to cut the ties.

C- On the off chance he IS interested, you just played your cards right.

Sure, him remembering your b-day is great...but that's what Players do. They make themselves look great. He's making himself look good so you dont lose interest in the sex you both share.

I can say, that 10x in 6 mos isn't a whole lot of time spent together.
Just last month, and im not kidding here, I recently had a sex buddy proclaim their feelings for me, and say that they're falling for me.
Granted the sex is aaaaawesome, but after i broke everything down, we both agreed that romanticizing it would just complicate matters.

So, if you want to deal with this person everyday, all the time, and fore-go the possibility of the fun fling you both share in exchange for something serious..than go for it.

but it's a gamble i cant see working out.
This IS "just sex".

-Orbess

I think honesty is the best policy... If you think you would like to have a relationship with him, then be honest with him. Life is too short to waste your time on something that you don't really want inside. If you can be okay with the just sex relationship, then go for it. I agree with your friends--that's really hard for a woman to do (not that it can't be done). We're more emotional and have different needs. A long shot-- maybe he is falling for you too and is hesitant to bring that up to you. Be up front and if you can't handle the relationship, get out and find what your heart really wants. You've only been dating 6 months, you don't have to declare your love...but you can say, I think I'd like to explore our relationship in a different way--are you interested? Those are just my thoughts.

Let me start by saying both opinions appreciated. I think however that you are right on the fact that he does just want sex, I recently have made the effort to hang out with him and be friends at the least and he has claimed to be busy both days I asked him what he was doing. So maybe I am expecting to much out of someone whom I know can only offer so much. The fact of the matter is I have been having quite the dry spell after my ex boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up and we had sex on a very regular basis. SO maybe I'm confusing me liking him for me likeing the company of a male again and the sexual interactions. It's a hard situation. I think it is probably best that I end it.

What is there to gain and what is there to loose...It sounds to me that he just may think of you two as **** buddies.....If you are willing to be this, than so be it....But a woman will fall for a man much easier than a man falling for a woman.....We have the emotional giving of our bodies and a man is just plain a man.....Kind of like the male stallion....Bred and move on and then come back when you want to bred again.....Ever notice how many mare's are waiting for his copulation?....Lets face it....We women need filling.....Not the man.....Much different......That true feeling only comes one way so we ache and hope and tolerate much more than we should....

I kind of think you know the answer to this question before you asked it...But it hurts.....Do you accept being lonely and without the occassional flair? Or do you close up shop and tell him to either love you or leave you?

Take care,
Caroline

,

Hi

It's just sex because that is how it started. I have a suggestion and it's only a suggestion. If you choose to have a sex partner select someone that you know you don't have a real interest in. That way it is just sex. I find that when you choose someone that is very close to or is the type of person you would consider for a relationship it gets to be confusing. Take me for instance I recently had sex partner that was 24 and we had absolutely nothing in common, he wasn't even that cute but his body was bangin and he had the correct equipment if you know what I mean.

Hi Dollface

It's just sex because that is how it started. I have a suggestion and it's only a suggestion. If you choose to have a sex partner select someone that you know you don't have a real interest in. That way it is just sex. I find that when you choose someone that is very close to or is the type of person you would consider for a relationship it gets to be confusing. Take me for instance I recently had sex partner that was 24 and we had absolutely nothing in common, he wasn't even that cute but his body was bangin and he had the correct equipment if you know what I mean.

I find you to be right. Since ive been in this new mind set I find myself being over it. As much as it hurts that I did like him I can't stand the games he plays with me and the fact that hes not mature enough, or respecful enough to ever be in a relationship with. The down side is I miss the friendship we had prior to having sex and I completly blame it on myself for giving into his suggestive nature to begin with. Alchohol is the only reason why we ever hooked up and our friendship prior was a completly sober and good one. Drunk sex, although fun, complicated my friendship with him. And he has recently commited the ultimate disrespect to me and started calling my ex bestfriend who screwed me over and happens to be a giant . So he can have fun with that I'm not trying to get whatever she has. Slowly I've recooped and am in the process of moving on. Its just to bad that someone I considered to be such a good friend before turned out to be such a loser in the end. Guess you can't win em all. Thanks for everyones advice tho!