Thread: in desperate need of advice

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

I suppose this is where my catch prase comes in:

Get over it.


Things happen, don't let it get on top of you, and if you act this obsessively over him all the time he might well leave you. The past is the past, and not everything is your business.

I have to agree with Anon here. There is no sense in you obsessing over what he did when you two weren't even together. I think if either of you has a right to be worried over something it is him - he has more "right" to be bothered over the things you did when you two were together.

By what you have said it seems that your biggest problem is the fact that you can't get over the fact that this woman was 40 and he is only 23. What does age have to do with it? Age is only a number anyway.

Sorry, it was late at night and my post was rather incoherent.

What I was trying to say was that after a breakup, sometimes a person can become lonely and want company / affection / intimacy / sex. It isn't the same as being in a long term relationship, but it fills an immediate need and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. (as long as it is not mistaken by either partner as love).

I was suggesting that maybe that is how your boyfriend felt.

Originally Posted by blonde3737

hey rcoreyus....thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it...could youtell me what you mean by this? do are you refering to my boyfriend ?>---

"From my point of view (and presumably the boyfriend's in the original post)"

I remember when I was in my early 20s, 40s seemed ancient, and a relationship between a 40 year old and a 20 year old seemed strange. Now that I'm in my 40s, it doesn't seem odd to me at all - although I think a large age difference my not work out well in the long term.

Originally Posted by Fallen1

I have to agree with Anon here. There is no sense in you obsessing over what he did when you two weren't even together. I think if either of you has a right to be worried over something it is him - he has more "right" to be bothered over the things you did when you two were together.

By what you have said it seems that your biggest problem is the fact that you can't get over the fact that this woman was 40 and he is only 23. What does age have to do with it? Age is only a number anyway.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

I remember when I was in my early 20s, 40s seemed ancient, and a relationship between a 40 year old and a 20 year old seemed strange. Now that I'm in my 40s, it doesn't seem odd to me at all - although I think a large age difference my not work out well in the long term.

Yes it seems ancient but how many 20 something year old guys would still love to sleep with some of the models/actresses in their later 30s and 40s? - Rachel Hunter, Cindy Crawford, Teri Hatcher, Rebecca Romijn, Alyssa Milano, etc. - don't think they'd call it disgusting.

Hey chandlers wish, what was the intention for high lighting some of the things I had wrote?? Any reason for it ?





[QUOTE=CHANDLERS WISH;41698]

Originally Posted by blonde3737

I like your quote at the end of your profile. How come I remember meeting her but how come I wonder every time I walk by a woman who looks approx 40 if its her or not. I cannot remember what she looks like. Why do I care??- She lives like 20 min from the town my bf and i live in. I just think about how they worked together for a while before we broke up, like a few years and even though he said it was never even talked about refering to that she might of had feelings or attraction to him...to all of a sudden having a one night stand...then her saying to his old friend that he used to work with when him and i were back together that she loved him... Because when you look to deep at something? You find all sorts of uglys that aren't there~

ugh, im sorry it makes me so mad.....i gotta keep telling myself to let it go LET IT GO![/quote]

Yep.

Thanks, i change it frequently but simular sayings...

Yeah, i dont think it would work out long term anyway...but there not together obviously. Him and I are very happy now and we have just hit our 5 year mark minus the few months we were not together when he had sex with another woman. i think I had issues because he was my first and he is not the type to just go out and have sex with people. he waited respectfully for 3 years to have sex.

Thanks RCOrey, you were a nice help. ANy advice I could help you out with? How are you?