Thread: in desperate need of advice

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

In many cultures it is proper to take a younger man to an older woman and teach him the ways of sexual love...This it is said is done to make him a better lover....I would agree with their thinking on this...I, myself, am happy that my husband had tons of experience before me...This way he could work my body and make it like a finely turned violin....He was not a clumsy lover...

What I cannot understand is why you are getting so upset about something that happened when you were apart...He gained both insight and knowledge which he passes on to you in his love making...Stop hounding him or he will use his same finesse on another woman....I recall one time I asked my husband right after we were married what he did with his other girlfriend...he told me....It was a big mistake on my part and I learned to shut my mouth...His life with me was our life and his life with her was his life then........The same goes for you.....Get it together and grow up and enjoy him before he has had enough....That means no more...Swallow it....If you have to do something adventuresome, pretend you are her in bed with him....Sock it to him and drive him wild but keep your mouth closed what you are thinking.....

Take care, Caroline

Hi Caroline, Thank you for your help. It wasn't sexual love though, sexual passionate love is what my boyfriend and i share now. They had a one night stand as you read in my advice question. I find myself trying to remember the time I met her and what she looked like becuase my boyfriend said that she wasnt too attractive but it just happened one night when he was with few co workers after his last night at old job and she was one of them, he dropped 2 guys off then dropped her off and he asked her to come up, he stayed the night and it just happened...then he went to his last full day work the next day and they said nothing to one another. And as you read later in the story, since my bf and i have been back together, his buddy called him once to say hello and see whats new while my bf was on the way to school and his buddy told him that the woman said she loved him....how the does that happen. one night stand- a 40 yr old falls in love. I get mad thinking about it. Its time to get over it huh?

Originally Posted by blonde3737

Its time to get over it huh?

Yeah, it was that time about a week ago, or more.

You know, your past isn't too rosy, you have no right to question his. If I was your boyfriend, I probably would have broken up with you by now... Just... Let it go....

Originally Posted by blonde3737

Hi Caroline, Thank you for your help. It wasn't sexual love though, sexual passionate love is what my boyfriend and i share now. They had a one night stand as you read in my advice question. I find myself trying to remember the time I met her and what she looked like becuase my boyfriend said that she wasnt too attractive but it just happened one night when he was with few co workers after his last night at old job and she was one of them, he dropped 2 guys off then dropped her off and he asked her to come up, he stayed the night and it just happened...then he went to his last full day work the next day and they said nothing to one another. And as you read later in the story, since my bf and i have been back together, his buddy called him once to say hello and see whats new while my bf was on the way to school and his buddy told him that the woman said she loved him....how the does that happen. one night stand- a 40 yr old falls in love. I get mad thinking about it. Its time to get over it huh?

Honey, I still get mad about the woman who was a good 20 years younger and came to town and waited for my husband in a motel...She was a young executive...Sure of herself and great looking..But it stopped...This happened when you were broken up...He did not have to be true to you...He had a sexual opportunity and his confidence needed building...She gave him this...She also gave him confidence and no how for a life time..This you will see in his love making as my husband shows me the confidence in his sexual skills from all the women he has bedded...Don't be angry...Learn from it but don't question him any longer...You will be showing him the door by doing this so let it go...

I have had to get over a lot of woman in our marriage wanting my husband..One who was a professor's wife, sat on a stoop and exposed herself to him...I saw this too. I had our brand new baby and she thought he needed a fix...This was a little over a year after we were married...If you have a hunk than other women will love him...They will fall in love with him over and over and it is your job as a woman to keep him happy...Love him to death and show him all the security that he needs....Honey, I never stopped this all our life and he is still a sexual mess for me...Now I have to go to the beauty shop and turn into Cinderella which is another trick of the trade....Don't worry.....Love, Caroline

It happened not last march but the march before.....we broke up for 2.5 months or so....i think it was....so yeah, may i ask why you mentioned like a week ago?

I guessed that was when you posted this question....

If it happened 2 years ago.... then you REALLY need to forget about it. God, if you were my gf and still stewing over something that happened two years ago when we weren't together I would be OUTTA there. Not worth the trouble.

Caroline-- so your husband cheated on you?? Is that what I am understanding from your previous post. What are you trying to teach me out of it. Thanks so much for taking time to help me along

Anonymous white female-- Thanks for your help. How old are you? I feel like your just putting me down because your kind of being harsh about things. I came here for advice from all of these women..

If we broke up in march 06....and we got back together in may 06. We have been back together since may 06...is that a full 2 years?? I feel like an idiot not being able to do math correctly.

Also...what about the beginning of the posts, where he was looking at porn and such. What is your reaction on that.

How are you? Do you have any relationships or any questions?

And yes...I posted the question last week but that was not when it happened which im sur eyou are already understood

I'm 23, and I am harsh, but sometimes that's in peoples best interests. I'm not trying to pointlessly upset you, I'm trying to make you see that the way you feel and the way you are acting about this cannot work in this relationship. If my girlfriend was going on about something that happened two years ago, and something that isn't all that serious, I would think that she would never stop, and I would break up with her - because you don't have to constantly reitterate something to someone because they are unwilling to understand. In fact, it's not really even your place to understand that, because it didn't take place within your relationship.

To turn matters around, if he constantly brought up the guys that you'd kissed, years afterwards, would that make you happy with your relationship? Or would it undermine it?

And yes, that is two years.

For my point of view on porn, search the forum for past threads, I don't really care to get into that discussion again.