ok when i first meet her i felt that we were going to be together till the end. we were friends first then a couple. we have had a good life together we had two miscarriges. we have been together for three years and i have been a fool not working for one of those years. now she first told me that i have to prove to her i can be the way i once was i was to move in with my dad and her sister move in with her. she said that she would save herself for me if i would do the same, also that we would still talk and hang out.she said that she still feels a deep connection with me but the other day she said that she is confused and she just wants to be alone right now but she feels this is the end. yet she was telling me to got get a job and get my own apt. and she will move in with me and we would take it slow, she is saying ''lets just see what happins'' i want to belive that the feelings have not faded that its just me not working wich i totally understand but im still being alittle alert and waiting for both the good and the bad.

Things are over. Move on.

Do me a favor, every time you think about her, I want you to go out and meet 5 new people.
Anyone. They could work at a hair salon, a restaurant, anything.
But go out, meet 5 new people who have never met before.

This has helped me get over similar situations in the past.

A stab in the dark... Women like security and the knowledge of safety..

You moving in with your dad, her with her sister, that's saving money isn't it? Yet, what she really wants is stablility.. The man she had before, but with him working, so secure and in an appartment, secure, stable.

I'm not talking financially in the aspect of she wants money, just stablility.

If she's had two miscarriages, she may feel that she was under a lot of stress, and this is a deep emotional thing for a female to go through, one that she will not want under any circumstances to go through again.

Think of it that way. Your working, have your own apartment, she's non stressed, she's secure... In her mind, it gives her hope that she can conceve without concern, whilst being with the "old" you, the one that was working and i imagine, could do more as he had more money to do things with, than now, having nothing?

I don't think it's over, yet... But, i agree it will be very, very shortly...

Tell her you agree, she's important to you, the connection is more than that, you love her. You have been silly as you state, and want to get out there and find a job, any job that at least gives you the freedom to make your own decisions in life, with her included in it and rent out an appartment once secure in this...

That's about your only chance...

CW

I happen to agree with Devo here - it's over. I think that you both need to move on.

I understand that you have shared a lot in the past and 2 miscarriages is not an easy thing for most women to deal with. It sounds like there is a lot of hurt and possibly disappointment in this relationship - possibly from both sides.

She sounds conflicted but I don't think it's fair for her to basically play around with your feelings by giving mixed messages.

Both of you need to cut your losses and move on.