He Says He Loves Me But He's Not In Love With Me

dragonwings2010 · 07-02-2008, 07:26 AM

My boyfriend and I got to talking last night and he was talking about how much he wishes he could get over his ex. He said that I made him happy and he'd never want to break my heart. He also said that he wished that he was swooped off his feet by someone, preferably me, so he could feel IN LOVE again like he did with his ex. So I asked him if he loved me and he said that he loved me because I make him forget about his ex and I make him feel good about himself, but he said his heart doesn't flutter away when he's with me. We are still together and trying to figure things out. I wish I knew how t sweep him off his feet. Even if I did learn how I would have to get out to Missouri. I don't want to lose him and I just want him to be in love with me and make him forget about his ex. Please, what should I do?

**Fallen1** · 07-02-2008, 07:52 AM

Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my guy wasn't over his ex.

**Little** · 07-02-2008, 11:03 AM

Okay, putting the puzzle pieces of your threads together, this is what I find:
You're young, fifteen years old, and have been with this boy for a few months.
He is unsatisfied with your sex life and puts blame on you about it even though you were a virgin before him.
He is moving literally across the country, thousands of miles away, and you want to go live with your mother because she lets you do whatever you want.
And this is my conclusion: This guy is a loser with ISSUES. He's controlling and puts you down. He's wriggling his way out of this relationship too.
Now, I'm not there with you; I don't know this guy, and I'm not you. YOU have to make the decision to value yourself and get the heck out of this relationship. You're young; you'll bounce back. Even if you were much older, my advice would stay the same because it doesn't seem like this guy values your feelings. If you were in the same airspace with a healthy interaction otherwise, it would be okay not to be "in love" yet, but that's not how it seems.
Good luck.

**damd** · 07-02-2008, 03:20 PM

I think he is hinting that you need to move on. I've read your other threads and for one, you are way too young to go chasing across country after someone who is not fully commited to you. You've been dating this guy for a few weeks, now I know you've known him for years, but he's already told you that he is not in love with you. He's still in love with his ex. He doesn't kiss you when you are on top. Which seems obvious that hes not so much in the emotional attachement of making love, which is what you want, but more into having sex. So why would you want to run across country after him? Why... it's because you are too young to relize that this relationship is not at that point that it is worth it, and may never be. You want this, you want that... it's obvious that your wants are not the same as his wants and you are not going to be able to force that upon him. You might think he's the One but does he think the same about you? I'm sorry but move on. There are plenty of fine young men in CA, it's the largest density populated state in the union.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-02-2008, 04:57 PM

Like Little and Damd, I've been following your threads and replying and i see exactly what they see.

He is not emotionally involved with you at all and you can't make someone love you, they can "love you" for who you are but he is being straight forward and honest, he does not love you, you can't make someone do that...

Sorry.

celestial_kel · 07-10-2008, 02:19 PM

it's a brutal truth that we all face sometimes....you love a guy who's just not that into you! Move on...you are WAY too young to settle for one guy just yet anyway!

07-02-2008, 07:26 AM	#1
dragonwings2010 Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 13	He Says He Loves Me But He's Not In Love With Me My boyfriend and I got to talking last night and he was talking about how much he wishes he could get over his ex. He said that I made him happy and he'd never want to break my heart. He also said that he wished that he was swooped off his feet by someone, preferably me, so he could feel IN LOVE again like he did with his ex. So I asked him if he loved me and he said that he loved me because I make him forget about his ex and I make him feel good about himself, but he said his heart doesn't flutter away when he's with me. We are still together and trying to figure things out. I wish I knew how t sweep him off his feet. Even if I did learn how I would have to get out to Missouri. I don't want to lose him and I just want him to be in love with me and make him forget about his ex. Please, what should I do?

07-02-2008, 04:57 PM	#5
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 12,620 Blog Entries: 8	Like Little and Damd, I've been following your threads and replying and i see exactly what they see. He is not emotionally involved with you at all and you can't make someone love you, they can "love you" for who you are but he is being straight forward and honest, he does not love you, you can't make someone do that... Sorry. __________________ Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... White Witch. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

07-10-2008, 02:19 PM	#6
celestial_kel Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 7	he's not in love with you! it's a brutal truth that we all face sometimes....you love a guy who's just not that into you! Move on...you are WAY too young to settle for one guy just yet anyway! __________________ *~Celestial_Kel~*

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07-02-2008, 07:52 AM	#2
Fallen1 WH Moderator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: US Posts: 943 Blog Entries: 1	Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my guy wasn't over his ex.

07-02-2008, 11:03 AM	#3
Little WH Junior Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: whjuniorad[at]hotmail[dot]com Posts: 1,804 Blog Entries: 4	Okay, putting the puzzle pieces of your threads together, this is what I find: You're young, fifteen years old, and have been with this boy for a few months. He is unsatisfied with your sex life and puts blame on you about it even though you were a virgin before him. He is moving literally across the country, thousands of miles away, and you want to go live with your mother because she lets you do whatever you want. And this is my conclusion: This guy is a loser with ISSUES. He's controlling and puts you down. He's wriggling his way out of this relationship too. Now, I'm not there with you; I don't know this guy, and I'm not you. YOU have to make the decision to value yourself and get the heck out of this relationship. You're young; you'll bounce back. Even if you were much older, my advice would stay the same because it doesn't seem like this guy values your feelings. If you were in the same airspace with a healthy interaction otherwise, it would be okay not to be "in love" yet, but that's not how it seems. Good luck.

07-02-2008, 03:20 PM	#4
damd Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: May 2008 Location: USA Posts: 333 Blog Entries: 2	I think he is hinting that you need to move on. I've read your other threads and for one, you are way too young to go chasing across country after someone who is not fully commited to you. You've been dating this guy for a few weeks, now I know you've known him for years, but he's already told you that he is not in love with you. He's still in love with his ex. He doesn't kiss you when you are on top. Which seems obvious that hes not so much in the emotional attachement of making love, which is what you want, but more into having sex. So why would you want to run across country after him? Why... it's because you are too young to relize that this relationship is not at that point that it is worth it, and may never be. You want this, you want that... it's obvious that your wants are not the same as his wants and you are not going to be able to force that upon him. You might think he's the One but does he think the same about you? I'm sorry but move on. There are plenty of fine young men in CA, it's the largest density populated state in the union.