So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost six months now (we are both 18.) We have been saying "I love you" for most of the relationship and I truly mean it and up until recently I thought he did too. About a week ago I accidentally saw a text message on his phone from his girlfriend that was talking about how shitty my birthday present for him was. This really hurt my feelings and it made me think he was shallow and insensitive. So I approached him about it and told him I was upset. We got into a long discussion about our relationship (I admitted to him that I was contemplating breaking up with him after I saw that message, but now had changed my mind) and my issue about the present never really got cleared up. Instead, our conversation somehow managed to turn into him telling me different things that he wanted from our relationship that I wasn't giving him (ie. sexual initiation, less jealousy when he hung out with his ex). He also told me that I send him too many "I love you" and "I miss you" text messages. To me, these messages are important, i love getting random messages letting me know he's thinking about me, but apparently he was getting bored of them.
I guess my question is, does he really love me? If he wants me to change all of these things about myself can he really love me? I want to be with him but I don't know if I can handle having to constantly try to change things, when he doesn't seem to be making an effort to do so as well.

I don't think a person should change, however, having said that, if you are constantly doing it day in day out, a person can feel stifled "random" is a different word which you use.

I also think that the ex is heartless regardless what you gave him, she's utilising her rights to say what ever she thinks even if it also, makes him view therefore, your present pointless.

You say he mentions jealousy but yet it is obvious he still communicates with his ex, but to "hang out" with her, to me, and i know youth is different but i wouldn't accept that either, a chat here and there, or with you around, but not him hanging out...

I think she's getting in his ear and talking about your private life and i would be saying to him, sure, if you stop hanging out with your ex, as that's disrespectful, your going out with me, then maybe we can be a proper item and we can explore all sorts of things and i would have a necessity to feel jealous.

CW