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Before you do anything, you might want to find out the truth.
I am shocked my girlfriend was Pregnant !
Yesterday i just know my girlfriend was Pregnant for 3 moths. after that i can sleeping, we have 2 years of relationship. She did not tell me anything. some how i know the truth. If i still marry her what kind of problem i have to face? I can't believe her anymore. can I get a child from her? or If she have the habit to have sex with someone else. how do i ensure the coming baby is mine.
If i marry her & i want a baby what of problem we have to face bcoz she did abortions. I cant feel good in my life with her. In that case please give me some suggestion, bcoz i really love her.
Thanks.
Before you do anything, you might want to find out the truth.
Firstly, that really doesnt make sense to me...and i dont fully understand, but from what i can understand - your girlfriend had an abortion and you are angry with her?Originally Posted by ejoy_cool
Did she sleep with someone else whilst she was with you? Or was it your child?
Its completely up to her what she wishes to do with her body and i think you should respect that. However, if she has cheated then you need to discuss it with her. You cant marry someone and begin a family if there is no trust in the relationship.
Like damd said, you need to find out the truth, especially before you start making accusations and assumptions.
“As you regonise that you already own the wholeness you seek, and no one outside you can give you more than you already are, dysfunctional situations will evaporate like bad dreams exposed to the morning sun.”
Firstly, she may have been un-certain as to whether she was pregnant initially then contemplating, as it's a Woman that carries the baby not the man, and as she has previously "you state" had an abortion this would have been a decision and feelings rolling around in her head.
You say you love her. So understand her.
Good marriages are based on many foundations, one being trust and another being communication to start with, so talk to her, don't as the other's have said, "accuse her" but talk to her about it.
I'm sensing that perhaps you come from a religion, or simply a family that does not accept abortions and that your family know, so you are frightened to marry your girlfriend.
Again, you mention the word love. There are probably many other things that you are not meant to engage in either, prior to marriage such as sex, but you did. This is your life, if you love her marry her, if she loves you back, which sounds like she does as she's keeping this baby. Don't let other's make decisions for you.
Don't judge either, pertaining to whether it is "your child", nor accuse her of such unless you "know" 100% that she has been sleeping around and not being faithful to you.
If you don't, then simply wait until the baby is born and get a paternity test, before committing, but in a gentle way of explanation to her, firstly ask the question ( again only if you know she has) again, don't accuse her....
Good luck,
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Sorry didn't notice, we are still married yet, we don't have any sex, She was Pregnant by someone else.
we are not married
I see..
So you are worried about the future, because she has had an abortion before in her past, whether or not she can still have children, if you marry her and start to try to have a family.
The answer is yes, she can off course still fall pregnant, an abortion does not stop a woman from getting pregnant again..
But, you still say you "can't believe her anymore", don't judge her on the fact that she had a sexual relationship before she met you, or that she unfortunately got pregnant... If she is telling you she can have children and that is what you don't believe there are test she can have for fertility and if you love her enough anyway you can adopt if something didn't happen. I mean how do you know your fertile? Maybe you can't have children yourself...
CW
Sorry, in adding:-
Your heading seems to show that you were "shocked" that she has now told you after two years and that is what you mean by non-trusting her.
Past is past but obviously she feels strongly about you, and her relationship with you, so she is just being honest that's all, telling you something very important about her life and sharing it with you... That's a beautiful thing not one that you should feel is non-trust for future.
CW
Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 07-25-2008 at 10:09 PM. Reason: merge posts
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
She didn't tell me anything, somehow i know all of her password even her friends password's who is listed on is IM. She sent email to someone else, badly i read those. I don't want to spy, but she had a lot of habit those need to hide from me, but i have nothing to hide from her.
she deleted her email from sent folder always, but i know her friends emails password. she can change her habit? if the same thing happen again, if she sleep with other guys again.
she don't discuss me anything, she just act as a good girl from the starting. but she wanted to say something like she is bad etc etc. but i don't care them, now everything is clear to me what she wanted to say. she feel pain may be for that abortion. may be feel guilty. bcoz her family remind her.
Can i take a hard decision, i should marry her? how could i? Could I honor her life long?
lots of question in my mind. I wanted to be happy with her. but i cant saying thing her . she doesn't know that i know her everything about past life.
Thanking You.
bHbu
Past is past but can't be ignore. She will 100% compare my sex with that in obsession.Past is past but obviously she feels strongly ab..
ejoy. I think that the person with a trust problem here is YOU. While she may have done something untrustworthy, you have no business (READ THIS: ZERO) going into her, or her friends IM accounts. The problem is that YOU cannot be trusted and yet you expect that you should be able to trust HER!
To me NEITHER of you can be trusted. Maybe this makes you a perfect match.
You should never invade a person's privacy by snooping into their e-mail etc. in my opinion. If your girlfriend WANTS you to know something, then she will TELL YOU. If she doesn't then she WILL NOT TELL YOU.
Perhaps she was lying in her posts to someone. Maybe she said some things to make someone else feel less awful about something they had done. In any event, I stick with my theory that NEITHER of you can be trusted.
You should know that if you try to find out an answer to a question you have about your girlfriend (or anyone else for that matter) you can't be "shocked" or afraid to find out the truth. If you are afraid, then you should not seek out the answer to your question to begin with.
You need to talk to your girlfriend. Tell her what you did. Allow her friends to change their passwords and to hate you for invading their privacy, and hate your girlfriend for sharing their passwords with YOU. THEN talk with your girlfriend to see if there is a chance at you two having a relationship together.
That's too bad. I hate to see people ruin what could possibly be a good relationship.
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