does he trust me?

**suzanne214** · 08-20-2008 06:48 AM

ok, so me and my boyfriend were going to be at different uni's, him at sussex (which was my second choice) and me about 5hrs away, and even then we were going to try and have a long distance relationship, but i didnt get in to my first choice, so i am now at sussex too. we decided that although we are going to be in the same place now, we dont want to be too coupley as we want to get in to the whole uni lifestyle and get to know new people and so even though i didnt get into halls, we arnt going to share, i am now getting a house, and it is with a group of others, who i met over the southampton website, but some of them are men. as soon as i mentioned it he went all funny and he does get quite jealous of me being around other guys a lot, like even speaking to them he doesnt really like...i mean he never tells me not to do something because he is not like that, but he makes it quite clear that he doesnt approve. i dont know what to do, because it was him who didnt want us to be too close, which i totally understand, but i dont really think that he has thought about the fact that i will be making new friends as well...i mean he seems more worried about our relationship now that we are going to be together....GOD guys are so confusing!!!!

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 08-20-2008 07:21 AM

Sussex uni eh? It's quite a nice place. But whatever you do don't get a house in Moulescombe, even if it's cheap and not a long travel.

As for your boyfriend - I'm tempted to think he's pretty lame. OK, so here are some truths of what is going to happen. You are both going through an adult and social awakening, you will both be meeting new and interesting people and you both need the freedom to do so uninhibited. If he has a problem with you talking to men, then just kick him the he11 out of your life, it really won't be worth the control and irritation the guy will cause you. The fact he's not man enough to hide that he's sulking isn't a good indicator. I'm guessing he wanted you to go to a nunnery while he went to foam parties and wet t-shirt nights out of sight eh? I'm a guy, I know how we think.

So, basically;

1. Absolutely do not move in with him whatever you do.
2. Move in with a couple of guys. You always need a mixed household, for many reasons.
3. Don't move to Moulescomb.
4. You should probably dump him, or at least redefine your relationship to open-status. It is simply a matter of time before one of you cheats on the other, by which time the other will probably have turned down an offer out of some feeling of obligation. You are too young and this is not the place in university. Find yourself, and find yourself under some nice men. Why not? - The guy sounds like a loser anyway.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 08-20-2008 07:22 AM

Oh, and you can be glad you're not going to Southampton if that was your first choice, it's not such a pleasant place.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-20-2008 07:28 AM

Lots of Laughs after the last line....

Suzanne214
we decided that although we are going to be in the same place now, we dont want to be too coupley

In all honesty? You state the thread as "we decided" then go onto having excitment wow, dorms, Uni, sharing and guys too... Then he doesn't like it and then you question it and say WT?

Love, your over him,you want fun and excitement, you started it all and you don't like him seeing the reality... Your moving on and want fun.

Sorry, nothing at all wrong with that... Truly read it here 100 times, it's life, it's fact and good for you... Have fun and enjoy, your only young once, until you find someone you really want to be with 24/7...

Smile, enjoy, let go, move on... and what else can I honestly say?

Other than, your heart is in a good place, you want/need to move but hold guilt but hey, there is none...

Be happy always, don't compromise your too young.

CW

we want to get in to the whole uni lifestyle and get to know new people

but some of them are men. as soon as i mentioned it he went all funny and he does get quite jealous of me being around other guys a lot, like even speaking to them he doesnt really like..

**suzanne214** · 08-20-2008 07:29 AM

mmm well its not that he wont let me talk 2 guys u know, he just kind of questions about it...and its not all guys, just guys he doesnt know, like i am always around him and his friends, sometimes im the only girl with a whole group of them and he is fine with leaving me on my own with them and things, he just gets kind of worried when its men he doesnt know. it just makes it seem like he doesnt trust me, and he talks about uni quite a lot, like worrying that i am gonna break up with him, i think maybe he is just insecure. he isnt the most outgoing of people, and he finds it very difficult to open up and things so i dont know whether there is something he isnt telling me maybe?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-20-2008 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by suzanne214

mmm well its not that he wont let me talk 2 guys u know, he just kind of questions about it...and its not all guys, just guys he doesnt know, like i am always around him and his friends, sometimes im the only girl with a whole group of them and he is fine with leaving me on my own with them and things, he just gets kind of worried when its men he doesnt know. it just makes it seem like he doesnt trust me, and he talks about uni quite a lot, like worrying that i am gonna break up with him, i think maybe he is just insecure. he isnt the most outgoing of people, and he finds it very difficult to open up and things so i dont know whether there is something he isnt telling me maybe?

So now your saying that he gets worried about guys he doesn't know, safe around those he does... That's good. He's insecure.. Well being a young guy knowing your staying with "guys" anything can happen he's not there nor very often in fact hardly ever, so anything can happen.

Do you honestly not blame him for being "scared" not insecure, it's obvious then that he loves you if this is his reaction.

Any way you can room with a group of girls?

CW

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 08-20-2008 07:38 AM

Don't room with a bunch of girls only or you'll probably turn out quite mal-adjusted and impossible to live with. University is good experience of living with the opposite gender.

And of course he's worried, he's a guy, he knows we all think with our pricks, and that when a guy is talking to you that is probably what is on his "mind". But that's life, he needs to get over it, he doesn't own you. You don't need to compromise yourself and enslave yourself to him because he's weak.

**suzanne214** · 08-20-2008 07:39 AM

well no i do understand it, but its not like i am gonna be sharing a room with boys, they are just going to be in the house, and there are 6 of us, the majority girls. the thing is seeing as it was my second choice i didnt get into halls, and it is hard to get private rented accommodation on your own, so now i have found a group of people it just makes things easier if i go with them, it is going 2 b nearly impossible to find a group of all girls. i just hate when he wont tell me how he is feeling, like i am constantly having to guess

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-20-2008 07:43 AM

Well you would know more than me being English and at the age group.

However,..... Whilst I definately now see Anon's point... the thing is I go off what i read, not what you answer with.

And, I can't stop past the WE DECIDED, WE WANTED, WE....

Seems to me HE doesn't...

YOU DO>.

Again, i will say 100% doesn't matter good for you, it's your life, but if it wasn't WE and it was YOU, then let him find his life and get on with yours.

That was the whole point of my posts...

It's your life decide what you want.

Anon.... Seriously if it was your lady? It's not insecurity rather, very hard, very hard if he does love her to accept that there is a possibilty seeing as he's NOT THERE, ever, that she may fall for someone else? How hard is that? To phathom?

As I said, you know more, probably a good thing. But for a SINGLE woman not one whom is committed. If not committed and not 100% in LOVE, again agree.

Get my drift?

CW

**silvertae** · 08-20-2008 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by suzanne214

well no i do understand it, but its not like i am gonna be sharing a room with boys, they are just going to be in the house, and there are 6 of us, the majority girls. the thing is seeing as it was my second choice i didnt get into halls, and it is hard to get private rented accommodation on your own, so now i have found a group of people it just makes things easier if i go with them, it is going 2 b nearly impossible to find a group of all girls. i just hate when he wont tell me how he is feeling, like i am constantly having to guess

Stick with you accommodation plans and just give him a little time to get over it. Invite him over to the place often and let him meet the guys and get to know them. Ignore it if you think he's acting weird about you being around other guys. Just behave as you normally would. If he wants to express something then he should man up and express it without you prodding him. Hopefully he will really get over in in the first month or two. Whether he's in rented accommodation or the halls he'll likely be surrounded by girls as well and you can point that out to him.

Thread: does he trust me?

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

does he trust me?

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions