Thread: Desperatly need advice!!!!

His son is 10, will be 11 in nov, the other one turned 15 in april. It would probably help to know my bf is bipolar too. We talk a lot, by ourselves and with his son. They are like best friends which is how me and my daughter are. My boyfriend doesn't like him to go see her because of the stuff she pulls, but he won't keep him from his mom if he wants to see her. He talks very openly with me and his son about her. My boyfriend used to do drugs and alchol, be clean and sober 19 years in oct (proud of him for that one), and one of the things that was said tonight was that she is telling the boys that one of the reasons they split was cause he partied for a month solid and was doin drugs and drinkin. After the blow ups happen and we get his son calmed down we discuss things and try to find solutions, neither one of us badmouth her in front of him like she does. He does tell his son that it is unacceptable to talk to me like that, he yells and argues and I don't blame him, he's a confused little boy, but I don't know how much more I can take. It has caused fights between me and my boyfriend because his son tells him things that are untrue and then my boyfriend gets mad at me and I get mad right back and tell him the whole story and then he feels like an a$$.

The 15 year old is a long story intself. I'll try to do short version for ya. Kids like me, she didn't like that. 15 yr old was comeing over on days we weren't supposed to have him, she didn't like that either. She has a live in bf, told boys it wasn't right me being with their dad. Let's 15 yr old run wild, stay night at girls house since he was little and still does (anybody else think that that is just asking for trouble?) tells 10 yr old if he will come live with her, he can do those things too, not go to school, not do homework, get rewarded with new game systems for failing grades...never have punishments. If my bf yells at them then it is abuse. Big fight between 15 yr old and boyfriend about his 5 F's in school, bf quite yelling and asked for there input for their punishments and rewards, 15 yr old refused, said is . bf calmly sat down and discussed his grades and goals in life with him, I sat right there and listened, his son went out to play right after discussion and ran away, told his mom that his dad screamed and yelled at him and slapped him in face and tried to have him arrested for abuse. this was back in jan. 15 yr old broke into house and stole his brothers ds and about $150 from us. We weren't sure it was him who did it, but we called the cops and the cops talked to his friends who turned him in and he confessed and was arrested. His mom told him it was all his dads fault, if he wouldn't have called the cops none of this would have happened. He hasn't spoken to his dad since then, this was back in may or june. My bf keeps calling and trying to talk to him, gets nowhere cause she won't even answer the phone. It really tears him up not to see or talk to his son, last time he did talk to him, son said "I hate you and don't ever want to talk to you again, this is all your fault"

Sorry so long, hope it helps to explain why I'm at wits end. I also picked up 2 extra days this week and have only had 3 hours of sleep so I apologize if it seems like scattered rambling(plus I worked all 5 days in a row in the alzhimers unit so sometimes they rub off on me)

Thanks,
V