Thread: Celibacy

I'v been celibate for the last five years, (by choice) no kissing, touching etc.. with anyone. I just recently meet this man at a party, seems nice had small talk while there, he later asked to take me out for dinner. After a few conversation over the phone we went out for a little met and greet to get to know one another. We both stated we are not looking for any type of relatiohship as of now and yes the topic of sex came into play. I made him aware that I am celibate, he states that he is fine with that. We still talk on occasions, the sex topic still comes into play, so of course the more we talk about it the more I am starting to change my mind about still being celibate. He did state that he would like to have sex with me (only sex), and he states he is not trying to make me change my mind in anyway but if I should, he wants it to be with him. My dilemma is that I maybe having some feeling towards this person and thinking about having sex with him.

Well, I guess the first question is why are you celibate?

If you feel for someone and feel like you want to have sex, then there's nothing wrong with it in my book.

Hi sierrawas,

Welcome to the forum. This is your place, and I'm a visitor here, but maybe I can offer a little help to you. When you began your celibacy 5 years ago, you probably didn't put any kind of time frame on it. In other words, you probably thought "I'll be celibate until the time is right for me to reconsider".

Sounds like you might be reconsidering now. You know, people have so much pressure today. Pressure from work, from family life, from friends and society etc. Sometimes we put the pressure on ourselves. Sometimes it's unintentional...a side effect of a plan designed by ourselves to protect ourselves (maybe even from ourselves).

Your celibacy plan sounds great and well thought out. Not only that but you've been faithful in your execution of it. I'm just getting the impression that while this plan has served you well, maybe the time has come to move on to a different phase in your life. Maybe not. In any event, you should embrace your growth, and your newfound friendship in this guy. If he's that interesting to you and you feel like he is someone you're really wanting to be with, then you shouldn't feel like you're "giving up" being celibate, but you should celebrate the fact that you've held off doing anything until the time was really right and now it is.

You seem like a very intelligent lady. Make sure that you allow yourself to truly be happy! Whether that means being celibate or not!

Cheers.

Originally Posted by sierrawas

I'v been celibate for the last five years, (by choice) no kissing, touching etc.. with anyone. I just recently meet this man at a party, seems nice had small talk while there, he later asked to take me out for dinner. After a few conversation over the phone we went out for a little met and greet to get to know one another. We both stated we are not looking for any type of relatiohship as of now and yes the topic of sex came into play. I made him aware that I am celibate, he states that he is fine with that. We still talk on occasions, the sex topic still comes into play, so of course the more we talk about it the more I am starting to change my mind about still being celibate. He did state that he would like to have sex with me (only sex), and he states he is not trying to make me change my mind in anyway but if I should, he wants it to be with him. My dilemma is that I maybe having some feeling towards this person and thinking about having sex with him.

I you want to remain celibate, you'll need to pull out soon.
Otherwise, if you two are attracted to each other, it's just a matter of time. Make sure you have protection ahead of time just in case.

Fire(m) speaks wise words! Read them carefully.

If YOU feel like going ahead with sex and are comefortable with your partner then go ahead. Go at your pace, nobody elses.

If it turns out to not be what you wanted, well, then you will be a little older and a little smarter and can return to being celibate if you choose.

Good luck, be careful, and do what YOU want to do.

Owl.