Wasn't sure if this better here or on the Relationships forum.
I have a question for all of you: How do you define sensuality and sexuality? What do you see as the differences and commonalities? I have an idea that people who have a better connection to the sensual make better lovers but that may just be a personal preference. What do you think?

Hey wildchild, I think for me that if my lover is more in touch with the sensual, than the sexuality its more attractive for me. Sensuality for me is the gentle touches, like around the cheek and the lips or the gentle touch when they slide their hand up your thigh. its the slow parts of it all that are very sensual. as for sexuality i think that its when two people just go at it, that's waht it is for me, that's just raw sexuality but i think that most have a balance between the two but the real turn on is when its more sensual. and people that do have a better connection with their sensual side do make better lovers because then they know what you want and how to draw you in.

I think sensuality comes from the romantic part of you and sexuality come from the animal inside of you.

Hi,

I am a very sensual person, i'll spend hours with my partner just cuddling and gliding my heands all over there body using my finger tips or back of nails ect..

I Believe that sensuality is something more then "Getting Off" it makes a connection with the other person,

Sexuality can have the same effect but in a different manner, or it could just be going crazy at it and trying to get off at a all high feeling,

Personally i have problems going crazy in bed just because i'm a sensual person and don't want to "disrespect" my partner, even though she does get off on it.

but she does comment that the time she spends in my arms while i just kiss and hold her is better then any sex,

Go figure aye ;P

-Stylerock

I guess I think sensuality is being aware of the little things. The way each touch feels, the characteristic movements of the other person, the way deep kisses melt you. I focus on those things a lot more than my boyfriend. I like to just watch him a lot of the time and notice little things...the way his leg muscles look, the fuzzy softness of his leg hair, the smooth straight softness of his armpit hair, how cute his concentration face is...etc. I don't think he watches me in the same way and I think he focuses more on the purely sexual (BOOBS! VAGINA! BUTT! lol). It can be a bit of an effort to get him to stroke me and rub me as much as I want during sex rather than focusing on penetration. So yes, I think sensuality makes you a better lover. But you need both. I'm happy he's so sexually driven and wants my bod all the time! I just wish he'd rub and kiss me a bit more.

et's expand this, the dictionary defines sensual as: 1.sensory or sensuous 2. of the body and the senses as distingushed from the intellect 3.connected with or preoccupied with bodily or sexual pleasures; volummptuous; lustful; licentious; lewd 4. resulting from or showing preoccupation with bodily or sexual pleasure.
It defines sexual: 1.characturistic of or affecting sex, the sexes, organs of sex and their functions or sex instincts or drives 2. in biology (a) having sex (b) designation reproduction by the union of male and female germ cells

These are pretty dry definitions sexual being strictly repoductive and sensual having a negative conotation. One gets the impression that the defintion of sensual was written by a priest as it has a decidedly disapproving tone. The definition for sexual is simply related to biology. Neither sounds very enticing.

Moving into the world of relationship, I suppose there are some people out there who say, in so many words, "let's reproduce" and procede to methodically have sex. Not too interesting even if a baby is your goal. Personally I think we all need balance, intellect is good but staying there all the time isn't, emotion is good but not if it rules your life. To me sensual can be taking time to enjoy the beauty of a garden or of a single flower, pausing to really feel the warmth of the sun and the caress of a breeze, watching your lover sleep. I see sensual as an awareness, not just seeing, hearing and touching but fully experiencing. It is the experience for the sake of the experience. Sexuality is more goal driven. It's purpose is intercourse or orgasm. Sensuality is about the journey and exploration, sexuality is about the destination. But there is more to it, I see an Iris as more sensual than a daisy. The daisy is the girl next door, the Iris is the seductress. In color, some are sensual some aren't, just plain primary, bright blue is color, is not sensual but shades of blue deepening into dark velvet of night are very sensual. Where are the lines? What creates the distiction?

Think of a couple; touching, kissing, exploring each other; one way is very sensual, another it's sexual, but they could be doing essentially the same things. Does sensuality lie in the intent? The urgency? How gentle or hard they touch or kiss? Is making love sensual and quickie sexual? Is that always true? I'm thinking that the sensual draws you in, entices you to get deeper than the surface, purely sexual sex is the one night stand, wham, bam, immediate release, it's done. Sensual sex even if it's one ime, is an experience, it touches you, changes you at some level, it increases your awareness and sensitivity.