Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire(m)
My question to you is: If you have this big of a difference in sex drive with your husband and have had this for some time, and he has had an affair, and after the affair was over he still hasn't made things right for you, then WHY do you want to be with him? Really...why? I know you're going to tell me because you love him, but think about it a bit before you say that because you seem to be pretty miserable.
|
As far as our sex life goes yes I am pretty miserable and have been for a long time. As far as dealing with the aftermath of the affair yes I am miserable. However you were right when you said I would say I love him, I do very much and we have two great kids and years of history.
On top of that I start to feel really guilty for the fact that there are some great qualities about him and I feel like "Can someone really have it all"? And am I being greedy asking for more? I mean he's changed a lot of his ways since the affair came out, he holds my hand when we're out, he calls me a few times a day while we're at work to check on me, he takes me to dinner about once a week, we spend a ton of time together even if it's just sitting down to watch a movie. I guess I need to decide if the lack of sex and his total lack of interest in me is worth ending the relationship over at this point even if we did start to have more sex I think I would just feel like he was doing it because he has to and resent me for it.
I am really confused and don't know what the right thing to do is. I know that I do need to lose about 40 pounds and he's very hung up on thin women and it was pretty much after our first son was born and I gained weight that he totally didn't want me hardly at all anymore. The woman he was cheating with was thin and he's made numerous comments after the affair came out about how unhappy he's been with my weight for years so I've been trying hard lately we've been walking almost 6 miles each night but I have reason to believe that even if I lose the 40 pounds or so he still won't want me.