Hey, all Anyone with experience: I am dating a man who had prostate cancer, had the prostrate removed. Believe it or not, sex is GREAT, for me, anyway and he says for him even though he doesn't maintain a full erection and doesn't ejaculate. He says he can and does orgasm. What he does with his hands and mouth sends me through the roof and has me reconsidering what level satisfaction two women can achieve. He has a belt that straps around the base of his penis that attempts to mimic what the prostate does, prevent the back flow of blood out of the penis (which is why he can become erect but not maintain). He's a wonderful man, fabulous lover; says he didn't learn how to make love until he lost his prostate. My question is how can we maximize his experience. Anyone?

One thing is to not obsess on things he can't do. Without a prostate he will not ejaculate but he can orgasm. My DH has sexualy dysfunction issues but he still enjoy sex just as much if not more. He just has a very touchy ego if I bring up how its "different" What different doesn't make it bad and not talking about it other then to say "This works for me!" ;-) is a good plan.

Other then that love him like you would if he didn't need the penile constriction rig! And "if" someday that stops working don't fret there are lots of other ways to help him.

hugs - p

There's not much to compare since I didn't know him "before." It is what it is, and it's good! Just want to make sure I'm doing all I can to make it good for him. I guess the idea that there's more to a man's sexual pleasure than the ejaculation/orgasm is difficult for me to grasp, since it seems that was the whole point to the exercise with my past partners.

I don't have any experience with this but you could look into Tantric sex. Part of tantric training for men is learning to orgasm without ejaculating. Apparently men can achieve longer more intense orgasms this way, without the chemical release that leaves them snoring. It might help and won't hurt it's worth looking into.

I had my prostate removed few months ago due to cancer. I haven't had a erection since! I'm still able to orgasm but of course there's no ejaculate. It really messes with a man's mind. I guess at an animal level it feels like you're useless. At a higher level, I try not to let it bother me. I've got plenty of interests to keep me busy.

Trying to have any kind of sex life is just too frustrating so I avoid it completely. Pills help it to swell some but it won't get hard enough to have sex. I tried penile injections a couple of months ago and I did get a rock hard erection-the bad news is it hurt like for the entire 3 or 4 hours it was hard!! I was in too much pain to think about sex.
I just ordered one of the vacuum pumps to give it a go.

On a positive note, I don't have cancer any more, my wife and I are still in love, and I can still get off.

Music man you ARE a man. Never let yourself get wrapped around the fact that you had cancer. It didn't take away your manhood. A nothing will unless you let it (or have a sex change I suppose?!)

Anyway, DH works with a support group and he says to tell you that Vacuum therapy is a great thing to try. Get a "medical" Ved not a porn shop "pump" He suggests the Osbon or if price is important the Rejoyn. Read the manual. Experiment with the various combinations of rings until you find one (or 2) that work right. The Ved takes a while to get used to so don't try it once and throw it out. From a women's viewpoint a couple of things you might want to hear. It makes the MOST of my DHs "equipment" in other words VEDS make him larger and while length is not important to me I do like him thicker and this really does that. VEDs let him stay erect for 30 minutes. And even after he climaxes he can still keep going. Those two items make our VED worth its weight in gold. So post ED sex in many ways is better from my point of view! So again... Don't get the idea this makes you less of a man! Not at all.....

If that doesn't work he suggests you check into

Muse, Caverject, Bi, Trimix or even penile implant surgery. He spoke to a couple who had it and they both rave about being able to be erect on demand and stay that way for as long as he (or She!) likes ;-) They love it.

Great news on the cancer being gone! You keep doing what your doing and don't fret about ejaculations. Its less messy if nothing else! ;-)

Thanks for the great post Phoebee! I've got the Osbon pump on order. I'm encouraged to hear such a positive take on it from a woman.

I don't think I'll ever be able to try another penile injection though. It took all the courage I could muster to stick a hypodermic needle in my penis!! The injection itself didn't hurt at all and I thought to myself this isn't gonna be a problem. It wasn't until about 15 minute later that the pain began and was unbearable for 3 or 4 hours!!!! I've given some thought to the penile implant thing and may even go that route one day if nothing else works. It would be kinda cool to reach down and "pump it up" whenever the mood struck.