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Thread: Why Can't He Stay Hard?

  1. #1
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    Default Why Can't He Stay Hard?


    So, Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years now, and just this summer started having sex. Neither of us has been with any body else. Finding places to be alone is hard, so when we get opportunities we try to squeze in some "us" time.

    The other day we were on my bed going at it and he just stops, i asked him what was up and we ended up having a long conversation.

    He says hes turned on by me and he wants me really bad but sometimes he can't stay hard, he says it just comes and goes even when hes horney,

    we've only done it like 3 other times but then it was fast so i didn't notice, What should i do??? Am i just not turning him on enough???

    How can we get it to stay hard long enough for sex?

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array withered_rose's Avatar
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    Sometimes my husband has that issue its a little weird to me and it makes me upset because i think that its my fault but for us it really depends on how he feels, it could be stress related or anything i would suggest going to see a doctor about it especially if he's young, my husband is in his mid 20's but for us it seems to happen rarely any more so we dont really think about it as much. if you notice that things haven't really changed in a couple of months deffinately encourage him to go see a doctor.
    Before you criticise someone walk a mile in their shoes and then that way if they get angry they will be a mile away and barefoot

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Phoebee's Avatar
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    If he has this once in a blue moon? I wouldn't be concerned. If it happens on a regular basis he has E.D. Erection Dysfunction also known as Impotence. This is not normal and should be checked out. Its often some simple thing. Maybe he takes meds for his Blood pressure and this is the side effect (One example)

    The big concern is that it might be serious. Undiagnosed Diabetes (Just another example) and finding out why he has this problem is very important.

    Most ED is medical. A few cases are mental.

    But none that I've heard of are because of the woman! Do not blame yourself! Support him seeing a good doctor who will diagnose it. The cure is out there. Trust me we have tried a few and its great stuff.
    "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

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    Yeah, beause it does happen regularly, and hes not even 19 yet....

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    You said you have only had sex four times and this was the first time it happened? Or the first time you knew it happened? The other three times when it was fast, did he have an orgasm then? Maybe this last time he was trying so hard not to come too quickly that he lost his erection? Just a thought, he is awfully young to have an ED problem.

  6. #6
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    ED in a 19 year old guy is just not right.

    If we're talking about intercourse, are you using a condom? Some guys just can't get off with a condom, period.

    I would suggest you try pleasing him orally or with your hands, and see if the ED persists. If he goes limp in all three situations, assume it's a medical issue.

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Livelaughlove's Avatar
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    I'm a guy....

    Erectile Disfuction... WTF????

    You have to be joking? Your boyfriend does not have ED especially at his age. The most common misconception with women is that men can be switched "ON" in a second.

    While this is true men we will not maintain the erection very long. We men also have to be turned on, kissing, caressing, groping etc. Some men dont even know how to maintain in erection. It just comes and goes. If you want your man to maintain is erection the I suggest you spend some more time in foreplay and teasing otherwise his erection will only last about a min.

    I'm not sure your position in the matter but fellatio's will keep his erection harder then the actual intercourse. There is something about seeing a women with your member in her mouth that is extremely exotic and exciting. Take my word for it.

    BTW. It takes an extreme amount of focus and concentration to keep an erection. We men have to sometimes deliberately force blood to our penis for us to maintain in erection. As you can imagine it gets rather exhausting as well as frustrating.

    Besides all of this he may be worried about getting you pregnant, is he wearing a condom. If so then it may be other factors like place and setting. Some men can't perform if they know someone may be walking in on them at any second.

    ONE THING YOU MUST BE CLEAR ON IS THAT IT IS NOT YOU!!!

    Hope this helps

    Live laugh and love
    Nice guys don't finish last, weak guys finish last.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Array just a little more's Avatar
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    I have to agree with Live. It's nothing you've done, it just happens sometimes. Also, if you aren't doing anything to please him, it's easier for the erection to leave. My boyfriend gets off from my pleasure, but he even loses his erection when giving me head or playing with me. Keep him busy, and be sure to tease him. That should get the blood flowing. ;]
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, rather, it is the judgment that something is more important than fear itself."

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    Wow thanks so much guys that really helps. Becasue yeah like he is still young or what ever. We don't use condoms becasue i am on the pill but i was thinking it could be being scared. Usually we do have to do it with the though of someone walking in at any moment becasue we both still live at home, and i think he is scared to get pregnant becasue his rents would flip.

    For him to have ED just seems so unnormal, but i guess it could happen, but maybe we do just need to find a different setting and see if that helps. Usually we do spend ALOT of time in foreplay but i donno, i guess everything is stil new to use and that we just need to spend more time experimenting.

    To answer your question, from doing it before i did notice it the first few times but didn't think much of it becasue i'm still not experienced, jst this time i didn't know why he was stopping it, but he said that he was really embarassed, which i guess is understandable.

    Thank you all so so so much. hopefully this will help and i can continue to figure it out so we can experience other things

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kellie View Post
    Wow thanks so much guys that really helps. Becasue yeah like he is still young or what ever. We don't use condoms becasue i am on the pill but i was thinking it could be being scared. Usually we do have to do it with the though of someone walking in at any moment becasue we both still live at home, and i think he is scared to get pregnant becasue his rents would flip.
    That's not the thought process of a normal 19 year old male, who has a GF who's letting him go in unprotected. Trust me. There is something else going on here.

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