Thread: Can women be mad at ex for new sex life?

I'm hoping to get some feed back from the ladies here as I'm sure you will provide the best advice.

I have been married 3 times now still happily married to wife #3. A little back ground information is that Wife #1 and I were married when we were teenagers. While she was not a virgin when we started dating she had basically only had sex a few times (missionary) and had never had a long term relationship as ours was the first for her. For ease of reading she was subsequently remarried and divocred also and now is working on hubby number 3.

My second wife was a virgin when we got together and I was her first and we were both in our early 20's when we were married.

Now my divorces were quite messy with both of them. They teamed up together made a bunch of untrue allegations about be and it was just 100% attack using the kids and anything else they could agaisnt me as a way to hurt me and while it has chilled out some with wife #1 somewhat you can tell to this day that it still exists some.

Wife #2 and I split up and remained having sex during the separation and then worked it out and then got back together. A few years later we split up again and she became viscious so I shut her out and would not allow contact with me so she started using the kids as weapons.

Wife #1 has an ok relationship with my current wife and during conversations to this day wife#1 will bring up things about our relationship like foods i like and stuff. This aggravates wife #3 to no end b/c its like she is trying to taunt her while playing nice apparently. Be easy on me here as I really do not get it but I assume it is the girl code thing. The weird thing is that my ex and I divorced 15 years ago and and were only married for like 5 months and dating total for not even 2 years including married time. Since we both lived at our parents house its not like she had a lot of cooking time to know my favs and stuff but I assume uses this to now nicely aggravate wife #3 and it works.

Now I will get to me. I had hooked up with a girl when I was a teenager that was quite a freak who for 2 years would get porns and we would imitate everything that was done in the movie. It was 2 years of the craziest, nastiest dirty sex you could think of. So that was what I started out with so by the time I was in my late years I was basically a freak in the bed room and had learned that girls liked that as they had not run into many guys that would venture into that kind of stuff at our age or even a few years older for that matter I assume. The girl and I broke up but continued to have sex off and on as ex's for many years after.


The weird thing that has always confused me is that I have always been able to maintain a friendly relationship with ex girlsfriends. There has neven been a bad break up with any of them and had hooked up sexually with many of them well after the relationship was over. So it became confusing to me as to why the only women I seemed to not get along with was the two ex's I had children with but I realize the other ones didnt have kids with me to use as weapons so in turn it seemed like that was the deal breaker as far as maintaining a freindly relationship as that is the one thing that gets to me.

The thing is I cut off contact with them opposed to other ex's as when we split they started using my children against me to the point it killed any attraction or want to be associated with them at all as I viewed anyone who would use a persons child agaisnt them in that way made me sick ..like literally despise. So in one hand they would try to make contact and I would reject them right away as I had a deep seeded hatred for what they were doing to our children. The reason I combine them here as they teamed up together and would both practice the same things of keeping the kids away and using the kids as weapons regardless of the emotional cost on the kids etc.

It seems everytime either one get into a new relationship that the focus stays on me and when it doesnt work out they get mad at me all over again like it is my fault their new relationship failed.

At one point my ex wives lived together will all the children and wife #1's second husband.

Well recently I got a call from wife #1's second husband who she is now divorced from about some issues he is going through with her on custody. During the convo he was telling me a story about how he had been more or less mentally abused into hating me by the ex. He said that when they had sex for the first 5 years that during sex and right after that she would tell him things that we used to do and I did to her sexually. He said she would also tell him stories that my 2nd ex said that I had done the same things to her sexually. So apparently I had both ex's comparing notes and then this one telling her new husband about all the freaky stuff I introduced her to sexually. He said she would go on and on about this. I would never hook up with either of them when the relationship ended as I couldnt not even stomach them. I doubt seriously I could even get aroused by them with the hatred for them I had. Both of them made several attempts but I shut them down right away as after what they did withthe games with the kids all chances of that was over.

It through me for a loop when he said this as I realize some partners male or female are better than others but how immature to tell your current spouse or sig other about that kind of thing. I guess it maybe normal girl talk but it struck me as kind of weird that both ex's would compare dirty sex notes but he knew things only they could tell him.

My assumption with both is that neither had maintained a relationship long enough since our split ups to where most guys would feel comfortable venturing off into the more dirty sex arenas so therefore they may have come into contact with the guy but didnt stick around long enough to find out. The guys that they did stick around with long enough apparently just may not have done those things.


My question is could it be that they are not being satisfied sexually in new relationships be the reason of the continued attempts to meddle in my new marriage and reason for the continuous use of the kids to get back at me. Its the only thing after this many years that I can honeslty say that would pinpoint a reason to what they do as the relationships didnt have that kinda hatred until after the splits. If this is the reason then will it ever go away or is it there for life as 1 has been at it for 15 years now. Its almost setting up like they were addicted to the sex and when they could get it anymore or replace it with another they are bitter.

While I not being conceited or being almighty or anything I was just hit with this and is the only thing I can think of as to what went so wrong for them to act this way and in this many years ahd never really thought of this aspect of it as a possible reason or something that had anything to do with it as I had never really considered their post divorce sex lives until the new husband said the things she said.

Wife #1 sounds like she has no class and right off her rocker from your perspective. AS far as her second husband he should count his blessings. Unfortunatly you both have children with this woman so it is a life long relationship.

She sounds like a possessive person who instead of realizing something is in the past acts like it happened yesterday. Wife #2 just sounds like a follower with no real back bone just follows the lead of evil wife #1.

Wife #3 should just tell her that she knows wife #1's cooking sucked.

The whole sex thing is Wife #1 didn't ask for what she wanted in bed so she didn't get it. Instead she tortured and bored some other man with details about someone else that being you. Tell Wife #1 to get over it and next time specify to a man what she wants in bed.

thanks for the suggestions Joy lol ....I agree with the excpetion that I will not have the chance to tell wife #1 anything as she has no idea I'm aware of what she did to her hubby #2. So therefore that convo will never take place. In the meantime we (me and wife #3) pick up my child from her and during that exchange wife #1 will make small talk with us which will in turn result in me ignoring wife #1 as child #1 sits in the car and waits and wife #3 responds to wife #1's small talk to keep th peace or make that fact that im ignoring wife #1 less noticeable.

i know ya guys have kids but if i had an x haunting me like that i'd get them counselling for christmas from me and the kids

Originally Posted by notsure

My assumption with both is that neither had maintained a relationship long enough since our split ups to where most guys would feel comfortable venturing off into the more dirty sex arenas so therefore they may have come into contact with the guy but didnt stick around long enough to find out.

Well wrap me in rope and call me 'Dog Sh**', what guy doesn't want dirty nasty hardcore sex within 10 seconds of meeting someone.

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

Well wrap me in rope and call me 'Dog Sh**', what guy doesn't want dirty nasty hardcore sex within 10 seconds of meeting someone.

lol its not wrap u in a rope ..its tie u in a rope lol ;-) ...lol

sure most guys will not have a problem hooking up right away. However very few guys if any I know including myself will try to get freaky dirty until after the relationship is established. Most I think ease into that if they try at all.

Maybe you just met a line of freaks? lol

Dude, you need to move!

I'm still friendly with girls I dated before marriage, but we aren't geographically close. I know that kids are involved, and that makes it harder all around. But you need to find some space away from #1 and #2. If ya don't, you'll be looking for #4 soon...