Thread: I need a little help here....

For roughly the last month or so, my husband and I have been having 'issues' in the bedroom. I don't think that it is all my fault, per say, but I'm sure it somewhere along the line. So here is the scenario:
Everyday after work, I like to come home and sit for about an hour and just relax...Nothing special-just a little time to unwind from the previous hours. If things get 'romantic', we are normally in the bedroom or on the couch doing our thing by ten p.m. Ten at night is not late to me-maybe it is to a man-but it's not late for me. Anyways, we're in the middle of making love and there's no problems that I am aware of-until he (out of the blue) just stops and says it's not going to happen for him-that I've waited too late at night to do anything.
My initial thought was that is was me-that I don't turn him on enough-that his mind is somewhere else-but then I tried a new tactic. I came home from work two days ago, immediately jumped into the bath and put on a new lingerie thingee that I had bought that morning. I thought it would turn him on as well as make me feel sexy. He said I looked beautiful blah blah blah...So I lit some candles and headed for the bedroom...
I'm guessing it's ok to say what I'm going to say on here-if not please let me know-
I started to 'pleasure' him and normally this gets things going immediately but that day was different...I was doing my thing and nothing on him was doing anything...After about thirty minutes I just gave up and got dressed. I'm still sitting here wondering what happened...if it was me or if he had something else on his mind??? He says it's not me...and that he is just stressed about alot of things right now, but come on...how can that make you not even get an erection??? Stressed or not-if you're turned on then you're turned on, right???
Maybe I'm just being selfish or maybe there's something else going on....
Oh and by the way, he is always asking me who the other guy is??? I have not ever nor would ever cheat on him which leads me to believe maybe it is him??? I don't know what else to say other than I'm tired of being accused of things I'm not doing and I'm also tired of failing in the bedroom...If anyone has some answers, please share them.

[quote=Emily;57732]

He says it's not me...and that he is just stressed about alot of things right now, but come on...how can that make you not even get an erection??? Stressed or not-if you're turned on then you're turned on, right???


Hi Emy, I can say this much, there was a time when I had my eyes and heart on another woman and when we went to bed with my wife I didn't want to do anything!!! not a!! Nothing!!!

I'm assuming he's normally close to you as far as conversing and all but now he's not? You got to get that out of him. If it truly is stress then exactly what stress. Don't feel like it's you, to me you sound perfectly normal.

It doesn't seem to be something physical or he would probably tell you that. How old is He?

Even tho it's hard, you finding out what it is that's bugging him I feel, will at least get things started on the right track, NO?

Tell him how you want him tell him how you love him and that you want to get over this hump and go on. Let him know you are not happy and that you want the both of you to be Happy Others here are better it than I am. You'll get more comments, Hang on

He is 31...So old age is not a factor so I've been told...yes, I've told him what I want and how good it makes me feel when he touches me...As far as conversations go...well, we used to laugh and giggle everday but here lately, he doesn't have much to say to me when I get home from work. I can deal with that....He says the stress is from the move (we recently moved back into his childhood home and completely renovated it-but all the work is done...so I'm still left wondering what stress he is under??) The stress is just an excuse as far as my beliefs go...maybe it's performance anxiety if there is such a thing for a man???
Not sure on that..but i've told him how much i love him and how turned on he makes me but it still seems that it just doesn't work....Is it better for a man first thing in the morning? He never had a problem with that so maybe I;ll try that in the morning...Keep your fingers crossed that it works and ps-if i misspelled anything in this please forgive me...I tore all the ligaments in my right wrist yesterday and got put in a cast/splint today...I'm not used to typing with this concoction on my arm...and just so happens I'm right handed...guess I need to learn how to use my left hand then, huh? hahaha-
thanks for your advice...any is welcome and much appreciated at this point...

thank you, SorridLives, for your advice...I've tried talking to him when we are not making love or even when we are not in the bedroom...Seems I can't get much out of him, but I'm going to keep trying. I refuse to give up on this problem. I know with all of you guys help, i can fix whatever is wrong. I'm at least going to try anyway...first things first...i have special plans for when we wake up in the morning...i'd leave a smiley face but i am new here so i don't really know how to do that just yet...thank you again for taking time to read my thread and replying back...