Thread: No feeling during sex

Here's a few questions;
Is just it during intercourse that you don't feel anything?
Can you cum masterbating? How about during foreplay? Do you get horny? When you are having sex play do you get wet?
How is your general attitude and your life? Are you mostly happy or more unhappy? Do you like your job/school?
Why are you crying and feeling crappy afterwards? Is it because you aren't meeting your own or his expectations for sexual performance or because the relationship isn't meeting your needs?
Guys are perfectly capable of understanding, if you communicate with them appropriately. To think otherwise is copout on your part and your denying him the opportunity or abiltity to help you be happy. If he cares for you, then he feels good when you feel good. But if he's got the idea there is nothing he can do or that he is somehow being blamed, he will withdraw even if he's nuts about you.

I really want you to answer these questions so that you can get some good responses. There are some very insightful people on here, but they need something to work with. Even without your answers I want to suggest that you try giving up any expectation when you have sex. Just relax and let yourself be. Suspend judgement, don't try to orgasm, just relax. Men cum like an explosion, it builds up, they fire off and they're done. Women, relaxed women, who are into their bodies, cum more like ocean waves, it rises and falls, ebbs and flows and can go on and on. A lot of women have learned to cum more like men, tensely or they expect to. And that can be really good. But relaxing into it is a different experience. I enjoy both but they are different and you have to learn your body first. Start by spending some time every day loving your self, this can include masterbating but you should start with looking at and loving your body, touching gently, caressing yourself, discovering what feels nice right at that moment. Give yourself permission to make yourself feel good.

I'm big on numbers, this one might make you feel better. According to studies (don't know how they figure this stuff out) only about 30% of women orgasm during intercourse. A significant percentage of women (don't remember this stat) can't tell if they've had an orgasm. Hooked up to whatever would monitor this they say no orgasm and the machines say there was. That may be a problem with expectation - they've seen too many Hollywood orgasms. Or it may be an emotional disconnect, that Puritan ethic kicking in, the idea that 'nice' women don't really enjoy this stuff.

But I have another idea based on my own experiences and from talking to other women (and a few men). You know that old saying, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy"? Well if I'm not happy I disconnect from my p*ssy. I did that recently. I was in a pit, having a pity party and lost my horniness. After a few days I gave myself a good talking to and decided to be happy with the situation as it was. Soon as I decided to feel better the juices started flowing and p*ssy and I reconnected and the man I thought I was hurt over started thinking a little differently. I had to own responsibilty for myself and my happiness, ultimately we all do. No one else Makes us feel anything, we choose our responses. I encourage you to do some self examining, are you owning your feelings? With a good lover you can reach fantanstic heights but only if you are willing to go and take responsiblity for your part of the journey.