Haven't posted in awhile, but have still been around reading. I was just wondering on how many times couples do it and what everyone thinks is the norm. The average of sex with couples changes with who you talk with. Some say, 2 - 3 times a week is healthy, others say more and yet others say least, depending on your relationship. But if both partners can't agree, how can you tell if you have a healthy relationship? (I know, answering own question) When is it time to say, "it's just not working anymore and leave" and how long should you give your partner a chance to change to make it close to your expectations?

I would like to know, "How many times a week do you have sex"? What is normal, above, and below normal? If you have a good marriage and if you have left because of lack of sex?

This isn't a good place to get unbiased information on this - a lot of people post to this discussion group because they are having problems with their sex life.

FWIW though, for us its once or twice a month - and I wish it was a lot more often.

Depends on how you define sex. Do you mean intercourse or are you including bjs and other play? We don't share a roof, twice a week for 'sex', throw in a bj or hand job or two a week with that. But sometimes it's more frequent, sometimes less, depends on schedules, how busy we both are and how well our free time matches up.

4-5 times during the work week, twice on saturday and sunday. Once in the morning, again at night. The best is right after a shower when i get home from the gym. Norm = non existant, you make your own sex life. Where ever it fits in your priorities as far as your relationship goes, IMHO.

(In being in my first real long term relationship) I've noticed that as time progresses it's not so much about the act anymore but more about just being with each other close. So the numbers have definately gone done. It use to be an everyday occurance, but once work started complaining about me showing up late everyday we had to change things up, ha. I should say the actual act is done about 3-4 times a week. All the other stuff (i.e. oral, messing around) still happens on a regular basis. When it gets to the point that I can't remember (I have the memory of a rock) we have ruled it to be too long. I think as long as you still feel close and intimate with your mate then your are in a healthy relationship. No number anyone will tell you can really determine what's right for you or anyone else.

Spot on Perkins! You really shouldn't base on whether or not to leave the amoutn of times you have sex. How is your relationship other than that aspect? I happened to have the problem with both the sex and the closeness. Sex is a great way to feeling much more closer emotionally but it should not be all that the realtionship is about. That's what sex buddies are for!

But in all seriousness.... there is no magic number of times per week that is considered "healthy". I wish there was! For me, towards the end, it could be once a week or once a month depending on his moods. Frustrating for a person such as I!

You are right Red. Every couple is different and you adjust to each other if everything else is good. I'd like a couple times a day but men over 40 aren't usually up to it, at least not on a daily basis. When I was younger and had men who could go for it 6 or 7 times a day, it was great. It never occured to me that when they got older that would change. Of course as they get older they usually are more willing to take the time and have skill to make that once really good. You get quality over quantity!

Thanks for all the great response.
We are going forward with our relationship and I think she is realizing that I need more. She can see it in my face and my responses. I think a lot of people are confused when I mean sex....I'm a very intimate person and touch is a big thing. I can kiss for hours and get satisfied or just hold and touch her and get pleasure. The act of sex is not the only thing I'm looking for but the at of making love. My place of complete satisfaction is when I'm within her and we are in each others arms. I love that place. All the other stuff is just fluff (to me,but fun fluff). I just wish she would realize that I don't want to do these things with anyone else. But she also needs to realize that I'm tired of waiting and I want it now and not once a month. I want it everyday and if that is selfish so be it. I'm not selfish with much in my life but I've hit a stage in my life the I'm going to be now. Again thanks for all your great responses and good luck.