Thread: Staying turned on

Hystorm is right, it's apparently not unusual, may be not so much age as experience level. I went through some of this at 14 or 15, although when unhappy, I still experience it. Arousal for most men is pretty direct, for women the head stuff is vital. We need to feel cared about and desired. Your bf can be a big factor in this but you can do for yourself too. You want to learn to achieve a low level of arousal pretty much all the time, kind like keeping the kettle hot, it's not boiling but can get there really fast.

Part of this is self image and self talk. Get connected to your p*ssy, think with it, in the sense that you find the sensual in everything. I can connect darned near anything to sex - that can get a little weird at times but it works. Tell yourself that you are responsive and always ready, flirt (keep that light and harmless). Kegel while you're at stop lights, the low level vibration of the car with the kegels can give you mini orgasms while you drive. Wear only clothes, colors and fabrics that you enjoy, they should feel good against your skin and you should enjoy seeing the colors and how it looks on you. If you don't feel good wearing something - get rid of it. Same thing goes with your space, whether room or home, have only what you enjoy and love. As much as possible everything you come in contact with or are surrounded by should bring pleasure. Encourage the man in your life to be part of this. Snuggles, hugs, kisses, nuzzling your neck - tell him what you need. Don't limit the kissing and a tongue around your neck or whatever to foreplay, grab those when ever you can, That will help keep you simmering so that when it's time to come to a 'boil' you'll get there faster and easier.

Don't get hung up on getting turned on, if you worry about it, you'll kill it. Don't think, just do. Work instead on having fun and pleasure as much of the time as possible. Do learn to self pleasure, you can't tell him what works for you if you don't know. You can figure that out on your own without pressure and then share it. When you are making out, or engaging in foreplay, make sure you aren't going to have a lot of distractions, turn off your phones, off the TV, lock the door, put on some sensuous music, give yourselves time. Later when you've got a handle on this you can tollerate more distraction but right now you don't need it.