Ok ladies, I joined WH just to ask this, looked like a legit site.

I started dating a woman, single at age 47, never married, no kids, very limited intimate relations ever in her life, professional (obviously threw herself into her accounting career), very attractive, would look great in a bikini, conservative Catholic, .... okay I'm up to the challenge, or so I thought.

Turns out she's not so conservative with me, things got hot very quickly, So what's wrong with this picture?

Well after a few dates we got very intimate but then she called time out for a heart to heart in the middle of the action. Turns out she had a health issue years ago and had part of her intestine removed, I must say she healed up nicely. However this resulted in some internal scarring making penetration uncomfortable/painful, hence part of the reason for her diversion into the career and the BMW in the garage lifestyle.

Everything went great up to that moment, heck she came nicely from oral, she seemed to love the addition of a finger, I noticed though that she was tight. I was unprepared for birthcontrol (things took that unexpected turn) so sometime again in the immediate future we will have at it I'm sure and try to go all the way.

Advice? I do not want to perpetuate her disappointment and I certainly don't want to hurt her. Brian

Ask her what positions work best for her? Make sure she is super aroused, I have no experience with this particular situation but would guess that the more aroused she is the less the pain this may cause her. I wonder how much of the pain is residual emotion, based on expectation from right after the surgery?

Welcome.

Yes, communicate. Even if it means being rather factitious during your first intimate experience, encourage her to talk to you throughout the entire session. This way, youll educate yourself and find ways to relieve or eliminate any possible pain.

Hopefully someone here will have experienced this particular situation and will be able to offer further advice.

You're asking for medical advice. There's been a lot of progress in pelvic surgery in the past few years. Encourage her to speak to a professional.

In the mean time, see what you can do with just one finger, then two. If you can get two fingers in, that's pretty much the same as a penis. But be very, very gentle, and take as much time as it takes. It may take a very long time. She needs to be able to relax, and to trust you.

Good advice.

You didnt really say how long you've been dating but I'll assume not very long. I know for me it takes awhile to be able to open up and feel truly comfortable telling people about my sexual problems . Also takes a long while for me to feel comfortable with sex as I have old issues that seem to crop up those first couple times. It takes a kind, understanding man to really "open me up" so to speak. You will need to go VERY slow adn I would suggest a really good in-depth talk with erh baout his problem. If I were you I would wait to have vaginal sex with her for awhile and just stick to manually pleasuring each other for awhile. This gives her enough time to get comfortable with the "sex" side of you. I'm telling you though that communication here is key! Good luck to you... might mean some restraint for a little while but it should pay off.

She may feel very self concious about something, that she is yet to tell you about. I am wondering if that is the case. She doesnt want to seem inadequate or let you down as a lover. Be sensitive, gentle, and caring with her. In time, she will trust you and confide her health or emotional issues in greater detail. Good luck....