Asking women for sex

**California_Dave** · 11-04-2008 08:50 PM

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but this has been something that is bothering me day in/day out.

A little bit about myself, just so you get an idea of where I am coming from-

I was an obese kid almost all 20 years of my life. Girls in school did not find me attractive and my mom was always strict with my siblings and myself in getting an education, rather than developing social skills. In other words, I grew up as a shy kid who has never had a girlfriend or any physical contact with females. I grew up sexually repressed, and with the way my labido has been/is, I think that it's not very healthy for me.

About a year ago, I started working out and doing some self-help stuff. Needless to say, I now get hit on by women of many different ages, cultures and backgrounds. The problem lies in that I'm terrified of asking for sex. I don't believe that I am a shallow person, but again- my labido and the fact that I'm naturally multi-orgasmic drives my sexual desires through the roof, but I don't have anyone to satisfy my urges. Ideally, I'd be interested in a woman who is also looking for a way to satisfy her sexual urges. If I were to start searching for a woman, is there any particular way that I can engage her on the topic of casual, no-strings attached sex?

Thanks for your time/responses,

-Dave

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-04-2008 10:13 PM

Welcome to the Forum.

Your thread is "firstly" some what confusing and secondly , women are to be respected, not sure how many women are going to reply to you on how to ask them for sex and that's all you want ( your needs met?)...

So,

I grew up sexually repressed, and with the way my labido has been/is, I think that it's not very healthy for me.

I'm naturally multi-orgasmic drives my sexual desires through the roof, but I don't have anyone to satisfy my urges.

I now get hit on by women of many different ages, cultures and backgrounds.

I would just say this... Your kind of not making much sense.

Your sexual life was repressed you want to "use" a woman for sex, providing that is all she wants as well and you are being hit on left right and centre, from all ages and nationalities but don't know how to ask for sex?

Firstly, ask them for a coffee.. Get to know the women, you will soon establish if they are after a relationship or only a fling.

Secondly, always respect women, even if you only have a fling with them as that is all they desire.

And, thirdly think about actually getting a girlfriend and respecting her and therefore, you both can have your sexual desires on-going all the time..

What is wrong with commitment?

Why sex only?

CW

**WildChild** · 11-05-2008 12:26 AM

Get your self a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, the author was a celebate monk for 9 years, he talks about his experience of leaving that and entering the world of having relationships. You would probably find it of interest.
CW made some good points.
First of all there is no reason you can't take care of your own urges, you presumably have two working hands? Desperaton is never attractive. If you have to, masterbate several times a day. Take the edge off your neediness.

As far as meeting women goes, whether you are looking for a real relationship or just sex, there are still certain social skills you need to develop. Few women past their teens will have much patience with a man who is not sexually skilled and just wants to use them to relieve him. Actually their are women who cater to exactly that and for anywhere from $20 to the skys the limit (I understand that at the Chicken Ranch a bj can run over a $1000) they will satisfy your needs.

If that isn't what you want you are going to have to learn to play the game by the rules. CW gave you some points to start with, getting aquainted, establishing some common ground, discovering if there is a mutual interest in the same type of relationship. We have some very astute males here can give advice on books to read and resources to start with. You can learn and make up for lost time but remember this isn't just about your needs, it's about mutual satisfaction.

**In-Need** · 11-05-2008 02:20 AM

I'm a male Dave twice your age+

the ladies before me I feel diagnosed things really well if that's what you could call it, but I'm going to talk guy to guy here - I certainly can't deny when i was your age my brain and my twang, and my heart was sex driven.

But there was this other part of me that just liked girls, therefore i showed them i was interested in them, not superficially!

You have to come to the place where you really like girls not just what they can provide you with.
You have to show your interested in them. When you do they will respond, they respond according to how you respond. And you will naturally know when they are responding you'll pick up on that, it's built in you, you have to look for the response You have to pay attention to them, not thinking about Dave but them and in return they will think about you.

1 of simple thing girls do I noticed thru out the yrs is they begin to play with their hair, you know, maybe twirl it around or just throw it back or run their hands thru, all kinds of ways.
It's a way they are responding.

After this all takes place Dave things will happen naturally. As crude as it may sound you have to practice at showing an interest in women therefore you will learn their responses.

WC mentioned a very good book, GET IT, read it.

Originally Posted by California_Dave

I'm naturally multi-orgasmic drives my sexual desires through the roof,

It sounds to me like Rosy and her five sisters are at work already, so until you get this other down you'll have to do that.

Originally Posted by California_Dave

but I don't have anyone to satisfy my urges. Ideally, I'd be interested in a woman who is also looking for a way to satisfy her sexual urges.

I know what you are saying here Dave but you are going to have to get your mind off so much you, and get the Woman on your brain; the woman as a whole, that way you can begin to understand them, but, believe me you it's a life time of learning.

These good women have been teaching me all kinds of good lessons that are a wealth of information. -

I'm glad to report I'm not just interested just in sex anymore, but the Beautiful Creature that God has given to mankind.

Other fellows on here have a better way with words, hold steady.

I'm a down to earth kind of guy that doesn't know how to say it all.
Good Luck! ............

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-05-2008 02:32 AM

In-need
and get the Woman on your brain; the woman as a whole, that way you can begin to understand them,

Very well said and have confidence in yourself, if you are a good lover, you are very sexual and sexually driven, it is a Woman's dream for a man whom adores her as well, talks to her as if she is the most beautifulist create, every inch of her is perfect. If you want the sexual relationship you can have it, but "respect" as I said, is important, don't ever take a woman for granted she knows the cards on the table, but be confident of what you can bring to the table, what you can offer her, it's not all about you as WC said, both have urges, read the book and learn also to compliment your partner even if it is sexual only with the way you make her feel, beautiful.

CW

**Livelaughlove** · 11-05-2008 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by California_Dave

The problem lies in that I'm terrified of asking for sex. I don't believe that I am a shallow person, but again- my labido and the fact that I'm naturally multi-orgasmic drives my sexual desires through the roof, but I don't have anyone to satisfy my urges. Ideally, I'd be interested in a woman who is also looking for a way to satisfy her sexual urges. If I were to start searching for a woman, is there any particular way that I can engage her on the topic of casual, no-strings attached sex?

Thanks for your time/responses,

-Dave

Asking for sex? What kind of self help books are you reading because they are obviously not working.

You dont ask a women for anything! When you ask anything it makes them in the instant position of power and you in weakness. However, like everything in life rules can be broken ill give you an example that ive used in the past.

You want to have sex with a girl? Its very simple

Go up to a girl in a night club or bar and ask her "What are you doing tonight?" it doesn't matter what her response is tell her "Want to come home with me" if she gives you any type of test such as "you would like that wouldn't you" just say somthing to the effect of "its more for your benifit then mine

"

It has worked, but it does take confidence.

What are you looking for in women? Give me some more details is it just sex...

Women are more attracted to confidence and power rather then psychical appearance.

Live laugh and love

**Livelaughlove** · 11-05-2008 08:20 AM

btw.. Im going on the record too and say you should respect women.

Leave them better then you found them. <--- Golden rule every man should follow.

**Heatwave** · 11-05-2008 10:26 AM

Through how you described you’re upbringing it sounds like you didn’t get much chance to practice social skills so I feel that maybe your post hasn’t come across quite the way you intended. It’s amazing how the way you put things across affects the outcome of the situation. Don’t feel that anyone’s having a go but it is so important to respect women, everyone, yourself. Things take time, practice making friends and talking to people, learning the skills people use to connect, you’ll probably find that sex follows on from this much more easily, and making friends/talking is fun! I forgot how to do this for a long time when I went through a bad patch and was suddenly hit by very low confidence. As soon as I projected my rediscovered happiness everyone responded warmly and openly.>>

**California_Dave** · 11-05-2008 11:39 AM

First off, I thank you all for your responses.

My intent wasn't to disrespect women or make them sound like some piece of meat that I can just have sex with and leave (even if my post came off in that tone). The conflict that I'm having right now was instilled for the simple reason that times are changing; Women are more independent now than ever before. Women are expressing their sexualities now almost as much as (if not more than) men. Everywhere I look, it seems like everyone is having sex. This isn't what is pushing me to have sex though- it's more or less because of my biological makeup and the age that I'm at right now.

I think the core of every man wants some sort of relationship; having said that, I myself would love to have a girlfriend. However, despite women showing interest for me, I have made no subsequent effort to get into a relationship for the simple reason that I can't commit- I work daily, go to school, am possibly getting a second job, and whatever time I have remaining, I spend pumping weights at the gym. I don't want to put anyone through the stress of dating me, yet never having me around. It simply won't work. On that note, I have been told that there are women out there who have had bad relationships and are currently not looking for anything serious. These are the women who I am looking for. Any ideas on how I would be able to find such women?

**Richard S** · 11-05-2008 01:36 PM

There is no "recipe" for finding casual relationships. You have to do what we all do, or did when we were single. You have to make the effort to get out there and meet women, see if they respond to you, and, at the right moment, tell them that what you want is to keep things light and fun, and that you don't see yourself in a serious relationship right now. Most women will respect a man who's honest about that.

But you're missing the other half of it. To seduce a woman, that is, to get her to a place where she's, um, willing to be intimate with you, you need to be kind, charming, outgoing, and generally have the right intuition so you can understand where she's coming from, to see if wants what you have to give. The goal is to get her to live in the moment with you, to give into you the first time, and then, if you're a sweet, masculine, passionate, and talented lover, she will keep coming back for more, because it's what she wants for herself. That's your victory.

I respect where you're coming from, but the overall tone of your two posts makes you come across like you're way too focused on yourself. If you focus on what you have to offer a woman, what you have to GIVE, you will get more women in this forum to open up to you and share a few tips, maybe even some secrets about what types of male approaches have worked with them in the past.

Good luck.

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