Ladies.....I need some feedback if you dont mind. I'm a 38 year old man with a 28 year old girlfriend of 3 years.....I would say that most would look at me and think im around her age as we both look about 25-28. Our relationship is still very loving as we are always affectionate and tell each other we love one another daily. We starting dating while still involved in our previous relationship..Sex was great then, as she would always say she could have sex with me every single day etc etc. She has always had a very high sex drive. There has been occasions where she wasnt sure if she really wanted to be with me and has had a few sexual encounters with guys who she thought maybe she could be better off with, but ultimately she has figured out (so she says) that she eventually wants to marry me. She does say she is extremely attracted to me and that i do believe. But the part that I am having trouble believing is the reason she is stating for not wanting to have sex w me anymore.....She says that she has no sex drive because of how she feels about her body at this point in time.....She is still very attractive, but she feels unnattractive due to her weight gain of about 25-30 pounds. I do know that she masterbates to "craigslist" postings haha so im confused about that....She doesnt want to have sex with me and has no drive for me but I wonder what is driving her sexually. This sounds very discouraging and its somewhat depressing. Am i overreacting? Thanks for the help in advance.

The woman brain and logic can be a very frustrating thing. I remember when I first started dating current ex. I was cute and thin.This equaled to me feeling sexy so sex was what we naturaly did. I gained 40 lbs and dang near turned celibate. I did not want to have sex... did not want my body to be seen at all! I'm sure my ex was super frustrated.. but that's how I felt. I didn't want him turned off by all the "jiggling" (LOL) are so I thought. Women are body conscious... socity has taught us this is the way to be. She masturbates to craigslist (really?? lol) because these are people that dont have to see her but she can still gets what she wants without the embarrassment. Be patient with her. I know at that point in my life my ex couldnt say anythign to make me feel better.. actaully only made me feel worse. As if he was trying to spare my feelings. You really need to understand how our body image is hard wired into sex for women. If we feel that we look good, this will translate into increased ex drive. Think about it. I wish ya luck on this one...

I might as well add that when she was with her ex boyfriend she no longer wanted to have sex with him and masterbated to the thought of me......Do you really believe this is about her and her body? maybe she is just not into me sexually anymore?

It's hard because you don't know if she has put weight on in past relationships and whether she felt "insecure" about her body then, and preferred therefore to do it for herself, ashamed of her body at that time and therefore not feeling sexy.

On the other hand, she was with a partner, masterbated at the thought of you and then you two got together.

I am assuming whilst dating you, she got confused if she wanted a "relationship" with you and therefore, tried a couple of casual flings, deciding that no, it's you she wanted to be with.

Her sex drive is/was high.. So, she is a sexual person, how therefore is your sexual life with each other, amount of times, amount of intimacy, do you feel you really turn her on in bed, does she have a wild side, sometimes women whom are very sexual don't actually like the sex as much as they like the feeling of being taken and admired for her body, her touches, her doings and therefore want lots of that and therefore, want lots of sex.

Hard to answer as your thread is limited in that regard.

CW

i was hoping that a conversation would present itself here, which would be the only way to actually cover everything. ill have to give more details when i return home from work, hopefully you will be around. Thanks again