Husband Wants Much Sex,Is This Normal

Jewels6 · 11-09-2008, 04:29 PM

Hi, I have been married for almost 2 years I'm 29 and my husband is 37. He literally gets attitudes and kinda closes me off when I not having sex with him. Example: I work full time, so does he. On the weekends I usually have sex with him once,if I don't have it with him the next night he gets big attitudes with me. He has even accused me of cheating, because I don't want sex as often as he does,he figures that if i'm not giving it to him,i must be giving it to someone eles.This is getting old to me. It just seems to obssessive. Is anyone eles going through this?

Yami · 11-09-2008, 08:29 PM

Yikes.
Yikes and Yikes.
Okay, as the one with a higher libido than my partner, I'm going to say your husband is being unreasonable.
I have a higher sex-drive than my boyfriend, but that's part of who he is, so I deal.
It is highly abnormal for any two people to have libidos that match up, but people deal.
But your husband's behavior isn't cool at all.
Also, be aware his accusations of you cheating on him, could be a cover-up for him cheating on YOU. Not saying for sure, but be aware of that.
He isn't being accepting of who you are, you don't want sex as often as he does.
If he doesn't like not getting off, there's an easy solution in the palm of his hand.
Sorry if I seem scatterbrained, but I had to reply to this.
The behavior he's showing is not cool at all.

**angel7 baby** · 11-09-2008, 10:36 PM

i too am like yami. i have a very high sex drive.
im sorry to hear what your going through jewles.
your husband is being very selfish and very unreasonable.
its totally uncalled for. anyhow just try talking to him.
also has your sex drive always been this low?

**rcoreyus** · 11-09-2008, 11:18 PM

He prefers more frequent sex than you do. This varies a lot between people. Some want sex less than once a month, others every day (or more). If your levels of desire are not very different, you should both try to accommodate the other. Maybe you can do something quick for him when you are a bit tired or not really in the mood. But he should not expect you to have sex whenever he feels like it.

He shouldn't accuse you of cheating - but he's frustrated and is lashing out. He also probably can't imagine someone who doesn't (like him) want sex all the time, so he assumes you are getting it somewhere else.

I couldn't quite tell from your post, are you having sex almost every day, but sometimes not weekends, or are you only having sex on some weekends - eg, less than once a week?

**WildChild** · 11-10-2008, 08:05 AM

Personally, I have a high sex drive. I'm on the other side of this problem. A couple times a day would be lovely, once or twice a week is like a starvation diet. Consider this, if you adjust your attitude and decide to work on getting in the mood regularly, you will train yourself to get there. Sit your hubby down for a talk. What does he want, how often? What do you want? How often? Find your middle ground. Do you want more cuddling, more foreplay? Tell him. Would he be willing to have a bj or hj instead of intercourse some days, are you willing to give him that - as a gift? How about a quickie a couple times a week for him and the committment to some long tender lovemaking on the weekend for you?

In general woman develop feelings of arousal when they fill loved and cared for. Men develop feelings of loving and caring when they have sex. If it were a water pitcher, most women need to have their love pitcher filled in order to keep wanting sex, men's love pitcher is filled by having sex.

Your hubby dumping on you, isn't acceptable and he needs to know that. You have to communicate in a non-threatening way, which usually means outside the bedroom. There has to be mutual respect.

11-09-2008, 04:29 PM	#1
Jewels6 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 7	Husband Wants Much Sex,Is This Normal Hi, I have been married for almost 2 years I'm 29 and my husband is 37. He literally gets attitudes and kinda closes me off when I not having sex with him. Example: I work full time, so does he. On the weekends I usually have sex with him once,if I don't have it with him the next night he gets big attitudes with me. He has even accused me of cheating, because I don't want sex as often as he does,he figures that if i'm not giving it to him,i must be giving it to someone eles.This is getting old to me. It just seems to obssessive. Is anyone eles going through this?

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11-09-2008, 08:29 PM	#2
Yami Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 1	Yikes. Yikes and Yikes. Okay, as the one with a higher libido than my partner, I'm going to say your husband is being unreasonable. I have a higher sex-drive than my boyfriend, but that's part of who he is, so I deal. It is highly abnormal for any two people to have libidos that match up, but people deal. But your husband's behavior isn't cool at all. Also, be aware his accusations of you cheating on him, could be a cover-up for him cheating on YOU. Not saying for sure, but be aware of that. He isn't being accepting of who you are, you don't want sex as often as he does. If he doesn't like not getting off, there's an easy solution in the palm of his hand. Sorry if I seem scatterbrained, but I had to reply to this. The behavior he's showing is not cool at all.

11-09-2008, 10:36 PM	#3
angel7 baby VIP Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: california Posts: 41	i too am like yami. i have a very high sex drive. im sorry to hear what your going through jewles. your husband is being very selfish and very unreasonable. its totally uncalled for. anyhow just try talking to him. also has your sex drive always been this low?

11-09-2008, 11:18 PM	#4
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,735	He prefers more frequent sex than you do. This varies a lot between people. Some want sex less than once a month, others every day (or more). If your levels of desire are not very different, you should both try to accommodate the other. Maybe you can do something quick for him when you are a bit tired or not really in the mood. But he should not expect you to have sex whenever he feels like it. He shouldn't accuse you of cheating - but he's frustrated and is lashing out. He also probably can't imagine someone who doesn't (like him) want sex all the time, so he assumes you are getting it somewhere else. I couldn't quite tell from your post, are you having sex almost every day, but sometimes not weekends, or are you only having sex on some weekends - eg, less than once a week?

11-10-2008, 08:05 AM	#5
WildChild WH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 8,641 Blog Entries: 6	Personally, I have a high sex drive. I'm on the other side of this problem. A couple times a day would be lovely, once or twice a week is like a starvation diet. Consider this, if you adjust your attitude and decide to work on getting in the mood regularly, you will train yourself to get there. Sit your hubby down for a talk. What does he want, how often? What do you want? How often? Find your middle ground. Do you want more cuddling, more foreplay? Tell him. Would he be willing to have a bj or hj instead of intercourse some days, are you willing to give him that - as a gift? How about a quickie a couple times a week for him and the committment to some long tender lovemaking on the weekend for you? In general woman develop feelings of arousal when they fill loved and cared for. Men develop feelings of loving and caring when they have sex. If it were a water pitcher, most women need to have their love pitcher filled in order to keep wanting sex, men's love pitcher is filled by having sex. Your hubby dumping on you, isn't acceptable and he needs to know that. You have to communicate in a non-threatening way, which usually means outside the bedroom. There has to be mutual respect.