She isnt having an orgasm with me

**sugar** · 11-12-2008 10:32 PM

We are in a new relationship, weve been together about 3 months and she has told me it feels incredible when we have sex, but im not feeling her orgasm. Its killing my confidence, she says she has never had a problem cumming, she has even said afterwars that she has blue clit (like blue balls for guys) so it isnt like shes faking it. She tells me straight up. I last as long as I need to, and stay rock hard the whole time. She tells me I have a big , but its average size. Also!!!!! She isnt into receiving oral, shes says she needs penetration. I dont know what Im doing wrong...

**Alpha_Girl** · 11-13-2008 05:57 AM

The only time I have ever had an orgasm through vaginal intercourse, I was on top. Is she interested in that position and have you two tried it?

**sugar** · 11-13-2008 12:42 PM

she does like that position, but she says she has only orgasmed a few times (with other people) while on top, but when it did happen it was awesome. I finally broke down and talked to her about it last night, and she wasnt too happy about it. She said I was being whiny, and there arent always fireworks as soon as you start having sex with someone new, that it takes time with eachother. I hope that what she is saying is true, I just cant help but imagine her with other guys and having awesome orgasms all the time. Our sex life sucks! And its pushing me away, and like last night when I try to talk about it, it only makes things worse. Now it will probably be a week before we have sex again (and we live together!) I need some woman advice...

**Gippy11** · 11-13-2008 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by sugar

We are in a new relationship, weve been together about 3 months and she has told me it feels incredible when we have sex, but im not feeling her orgasm. Its killing my confidence, she says she has never had a problem cumming, she has even said afterwars that she has blue clit (like blue balls for guys) so it isnt like shes faking it. She tells me straight up. I last as long as I need to, and stay rock hard the whole time. She tells me I have a big , but its average size. Also!!!!! She isnt into receiving oral, shes says she needs penetration. I dont know what Im doing wrong...

Try giving her oral to get her close to climax (almost like warming her up). Then when she is starting to feel it switch to intercourse. Or maybe use other types of foreplay to get her close. You could even bring toys into the mix. Also ask he her if getting a little rough turns her on. Who knows a little spanking or hair pulling might do the trick too.

**sTyLeRock** · 11-16-2008 06:25 PM

might not be a physical thing but an emotional thing,

I'd recommend do a massive romantic night that just sweeps her off her feet and then have awsome wild sex, take all measures required to achieve this, like learning new sex positions and if you have problems maybe some medicines? like if you cum early i dunno.

But i know some girls who cannot orgasm from sex unless there very emotionally attached to the person there with.

-Daniel

**silvertae** · 11-17-2008 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by sugar

She said I was being whiny, and there arent always fireworks as soon as you start having sex with someone new, that it takes time with eachother. I hope that what she is saying is true, I just cant help but imagine her with other guys and having awesome orgasms all the time. Our sex life sucks! And its pushing me away, and like last night when I try to talk about it, it only makes things worse. Now it will probably be a week before we have sex again (and we live together!) I need some woman advice...

Seriously, listen to her. The more you pressure her and whine about it the more frustrated she is likely to get with you. If she says she is enjoying things, even if she doesn't have an orgasm, believe her! Constantly questioning her and worrying her about it will not help at all. Let her know you want to make things good for both of you and that you are ready and willing to listen to any constructive criticism. And then LET IT BE.

**ExperiencedyetPerplexed** · 11-18-2008 10:41 PM

Here for my own selfish reasons, but while I'm waiting, I'll give my two cents. Has she orgasmed regularly with all her other partners? How many has she had/ did they come from sex? Honestly, a large part of problems comes from the emotional/mental part, not the physical one. I've had sex with a few women who didn't orgasm, they got all embarrassed, and I just told them to relax and enjoy what we were doing. They started orgasming rather soon after that. Likewise, an ex who I hooked up with again for a while went from the multi-orgasmic female I remember to... not (and no, my technique and staying power are the same

). Don't push it. Let it be. If she's going to orgasm with you, the best way is to make her feel comfortable and relaxed, and to let her enjoy herself.

**Little_Man_in_the_Boat** · 12-02-2008 06:00 AM

How long did you spend on foreplay before you finally entered her ... ?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-02-2008 02:15 PM

The threader has stated that she doesn't like Oral, rather, penetration...

I think that because she has "told you" about her past relations, something i think you don't do, it's not important and each "two" people are different, that she has therefore, left an impression on your mind, that of, trying to be "better"...

As, I said, two bodies together are different each time..

You have to let go of what you know and only concentrate on you two...

If you were "lousy" in bed, she wouldn't be living with you let alone sleeping with you but if you keep concentrating on trying to be "better" than you think she has been with you will end up not being able to do it at all I think....

Mind over matters.

She doesn't mind and they don't matter, only you two.

CW

**Livelaughlove** · 12-03-2008 08:40 AM

There are a few things that can be going wrong here. First you need to understand how women approach sex. When people think of sex or how to please there partner the first thing they think of is what works for them. The problem with this is that Men and Women approach sex in TWO completely different ways. Men need physical stimuli women need mental. Thats why a men will watch porn to get off and a women will read a fantasy novel.

Have you ever been with someone who just went through the motions – who just laid there or acted like they wern’t into it? Not much fun… is it Now let me ask you this… have you ever been with someone who made you anticipate every touch that the thought of them touching you made you quiver? So what you need to do is simple. Appeal to her mind.

Second, She needs to be able to trust you. Those words are more powerful then you think. When a women orgasms she needs to release herself of everything. When she does she knows that she is going to be vulnerable. So she has to trust that your going to be there for her both physically and emotionally until she regains herself. How do you do this. Simply tell her. Guide her into orgasm. Remember women are mental creatures. She will believe what you tell her if it come from sincerity.

Third your technique may be off. Remember what i said about how a person approaches the thought of how to please there partner they think of what will please themselves? This is another common mistake that both men and women do when it comes to executing the proper technique. Men need variety to orgasm. IF your reaching orgasm you go faster to reach it. However, a women prefers the same rhythm until they orgasm. Listen to what she is saying, if she says right there or yes then do not change rhythm stay on the same path until she reaches orgasm

If she like to orgasm vaginally then a simple in and out motion wont do it for most women. There are other ways to have missionary position that heighten her responses. First, try placing a pillow underneath her lower back or her but. Which will make it easier for you to touch her G-spot. Second try shifting your entire body up a little so the shaft of your penis is rubbing against her clit.

"Also try placing your palm on her pubic bone and place pressure while your having sex. It will cause her g spot to rub against your penis. Another technique is doing a few shallow thrust then go 1 deep thrust. She wont be expecting the deep thrusting which will make her crave it once you do it.
Remember sex is like a dance so dont be afraid to to mix a few of these ideas simultaneously."

Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did." So explore.

She will be grateful you did.

Also your member is not your only tool use your hands to explore her body. And remember Always to appeal to her mind. Whisper what your going to do to her and then follow through but stop at one point and let the anticipation build in her. She knows whats coming next so let her feel it in her mind then follow through with her body.

The reason why she has "blue clit" is because she needs you to help her release the built up tension. Think of a balloon that has been blow to the max. All it needs is one more push before the POP. So give it to her

A single grain of rice can tip a scale in either direction. Either she reaches orgasm or she doesn't it is up to you to satisfy her.

For great sex you have to understand your partner and yourself. Once you do that it is possible to give women instant orgasms just by words alone.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

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