My wife caught me masturbating and can't handle it.

She is so freaked out right now and just does not understand. She obviously does not realize that 98% of men (married and unmarried) do it and having nothing nothing to do with their true love of their spouse.

Sure, our sex life is not going well. We probably have sex 5 times a year. Our marriage has problems. I love my wife to death, but she is not on my team when it comes to trying to keep our marriage strong. She has a lot on anger that she can not get past.

She also suffers from PMS which she will deny but if affects us greatly. This was definitely not the right week for this to happen. I would love to catch her in the act. I would not show her sham and would love to help her finish. I understand the separation between reality and fiction.

What do I do to let her understand that I am a normal adult male and that masturbating is not me cheating on her. She need to know that I am not unique. Every man she comes into contact with does it. This includes bosses, friends, family members, waiters, store clerks, .... everyone.

I don't think she does, but that is okay for her. I assume that people reading this would agree that masturbation is normal.

What do I do. She is just so angry.

Seems you are a tad angry too.

So, let people answer you that it is normal and then show her your thread here?

Why do you have sex 5 times a year? PMS is 12 weeks of a year.... So obviously you are living in a sexless marriage.

Have you been married for long?

Perhaps there are other issues here and she is just reacting to that one or anyone really..

CW

I don't know if my wife knows that I masturbate (or maybe not to the full extent). But why don't you just tell her how much you love her, but you have needs. You would never cheat on her and this is a way for you to get some gratification without leaving the house. If she doesn't like it, tell her that she could have a huge role in stopping it.

I would suggest you guys get into couselling to deal with the anger. If couselling is out get your wife to write you a email or letter explaining her anger and lil by lil you guys chip away at it and work thru it.

Self gratification is fine you are normal Especially if u are only having sex 5 times a year. This is not cheating they are your hands!!

if you are only having sex 5 times a year, i'm astounded if she isnt masturbating too. you guys really need to talk about whats going on, when my marriage broke up the first thing that went was the sex. it can represent so much as regards intimacy and pleasure. i hope you work it out.

Surveys show that 99% of men masturbate... and 1% lie about it. OK, old joke but almost all men (and an awful lot of women) do.

If masturbation is keeping you from having sex with here, that is a problem. But if she is the one limiting you to 5x per year, then it makes prefect sense that you masturbate. What would she prefer you do for sexual relief?

It sounds like the relationship has much deeper problems and this is just a symptom. Do you have any idea of what these are?

There are other threads on the forum that deal with this topic in detail. Take a browse around and see if there are some insights you can share with her. She needs to understand that masturbation is not wrong, that it's normal, that it's a healthy release, etc etc etc.