it's a long story: To me it was sudden. I adore him and love him. We waited a little while before having sex, but we did other things before that. Sex of any sort with him has been the best I've ever had, and a huge part of it was because I knew that we were both totally into each other. He use to always say i had the cutest bum, or that my breasts were perky or whatever. He use to love being with me.
I don't know what happened. He works a lot, long hours, and only one day off a week, and he recently moved to a different position at work (one that he doesn't enjoy as much but it's higher up). He got so stressed and for days he wouldn't touch me and even when i stayed over or vise versa he barely even seemed to want to cuddle anymore. I'm also a Christian, and I got baptized a little over a month and a half into the relationship. So it's not even 'actual sex' that I want, but I still think being intimate and finding other ways to show each other passion and affection are obviously important. It's like he's in a midlife crisis or something. He's questioning what his life is about and what he believes (he's not part of any religion but is seeking something).
At first when we talked about it I was trying to give him time, but now it's been over a month since we have done anything at all. Like he hasn't touched my breasts or asked me to stay over, he hasn't even said that I'm pretty or anything. I've tried lots of things but everything seems to make him mad, like trying to talk to him, trying to cuddle, asking to cuddle, trying to touch him. It's eating away at me like crazy and i'm almost desperate. Not for sex, but for him and intimacy with him.
I almost broke up with him already too. He said it's not me, he said he still thinks about me, he said he still wants me, he said I'm awesome, and that I'm the first girl he's ever been with that has trust and everything. So what the is wrong? I just miss him. I feel like he's far away and I keep blaming myself and feeling like . I want to be wanted by my boyfriend and help him out but i have NO idea where to start.
I know how you feel except to my situation you can add the marriage bit and twins to the picture. When I first explained my situation on this site feedback for me advised that maybe there might be a medical problem (when was his last physical) and just the added stress of the job might be throwing him off. Also another comment frequently made here is that a problem in the sexual aspect of a relationship is usually a sign of a problem in the realtionship itself. I pray that God works something out for you.
How about doing intimate things (other than sexual) that show him you care and show your love and personality, your quirks, that you know what he likes – like writing him little notes or presents, making him cookies, sending him something that you know will make him laugh. I just feel that these things may bring him back to the real world, the things he enjoys outside of work, remind him that love is special and nothing to do with money or promotion. He must be feeling pressured at work, in that situation it’s all too easy to transfer that mindset to things outside of work, and start to think friends/lovers expect things of you like your boss does!! If it does make him smile tell him you'd like a thank you hug
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He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.
My DH had similar symptoms. We found out his testosterone was at the level of a 108 year old man and he went on a drug called Androgel. Wow! What a change. His sex drive came back and so did his energy, good mood and mental clarity.
You might want to check out
Andropause
Androgel
Testim
HRT
Testosterone Replacement
with Google and share take the ADAM test to see if your guy might have hormone issue. Oh! Goofed up Thyroid can do the same thing.
Good luck!
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"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin