hi everyone!

im new to this site and figured i would try posting something because nothing else has worked.

i feel NOTHING during sex! now i know the first indicator is always whether or not im in a loving relationship but thats the problem. I AM! I am dating my best friend (who's a guy) and we are so happy and so compatible and really everything is perfect except for the sex! I have never had an orgasm (I've had sex and been in relationships before). ive tried masturbating with a vibrator and nothing has helped. i get close sometimes but never really get there. i know that its a mental thing also and that im probably sabotaging myself but im not really sure how to change that. i havent said anything to him because i dont want him to think that its him or that hes not pleasuring me enough.

my gyno has said that nothing is wrong with me, but now its even worse because that means that its ALL me. so what in the world do i do??? and does anyone have any advice????

thanks so much!

I am going to take a wild guess.

You are " were " best friends and you haven't jumped that thought in your mind, so whilst you adore him and love him and are pleased you have moved to the next level, your mind hasn't. It's still on friendship sub-consciously..

You have to look at him differently now. You have to see him in intimate situations, visualise it, and feel it... You I think are stuck in the friends zone, and haven't crossed over mentally, that's all.

Start doing different things, start being a bit cheeky, text messages, see the communication on the different level than that of which you were.

If you don't you won't see the intimate side and that will destroy what you are trying to build.

CW

this might take some time...be patient with yourself. what about trying to really work yourself up...porn? reading erotic magazines/books? dont be afraid to tell him that you like what he is doing if in fact you do like it.

Get yourself a journal and start some writing and exploring. First write a story (this is for you, it doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece) about a young woman who cannot feel physically and why. What has happened in her life? How does she think and what are her emotions? Then write about someone who is angry. Who are they punishing and why, how will it help them to punish this person. Write about someone who is punishing themself, why? How? Does it help them in anyway?

Write about someone who is really wonderfull but holds themself back from others. Why? Is it to keep from being hurt? Because they don't deserve it?
Write some letters of forgiveness. To anyone you can think of that you might need to forgive. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself too. Then write some love letters, to all sorts of people, including yourself.

I'll bet if you do this, you'll cry your way through some of it and some of it will tick you off, You won't want to do it. Why? Because it hits close to home. Use those feelings to start guiding your self as to what is really going on. You are holding back, are disconnected and are probably punishing someone or protecting yourself. What you have to come to realize is that you are cheating yourself first and foremost. You are denying yourself a great deal of pleasure in your life. Why would you do that?

At some point you will hopefully have an epiphany, it will hit it. It may not be the whole thing but something will hit give you an ah ha and the more you work with it (don't get obessesed - just let go) the more you will start to feel. At any rate you should find it interesting