feeling jipped

h0ney · #1 12-01-2008, 10:30 PM

I've been in a somewhat long distance relationship for a year now. im 24 hes 23.

when i first met him he pursued me, i wasn't interested in a relationship at the time but somehow he grew on me and we dated briefly before we made it official.

in the beginning i made it a point to ask him about his 'sexual habits' so to speak to see if we were compatible.

for the most part he liked what i liked, what was the most important thing to me is for a guy to love oral just as much i do (giving and receiving)

he claimed he liked it, even went as far as to tell me he would give to his ex often but she didnt like to reciprocate much and only felt obligated to.

since oral is pretty much how i've been able to orgasm 95% of the time in the past i didnt want to end up with a guy who didn't like it. so i was satisfied with his answer.

fast forward a year later and i can count the number of times he's done it on one hand!

i'm so invested into this relationship at this point that i find it hard to split over this.

i asked him recently why he doesnt do it often when we are together and his answer was

"i dont like it as much as you do" you can only imagine the look on my face, im so frustrated and saddened by this.

i crave it, but he doesnt give it, meanwhile he still gets all of the BJs he can handle from me, i dont deprive him of it out of spite because i actually love doing it and would hate to stop.

i'm not sure what to do anymore, orgasms are rare with him because of this, it is hard for me to get off during intercourse even with hand stimulation, occasionally he uses his hand alone but its just not the same!

im shaven and clean that is never an issue. i love him and every other aspect of our relationship is fine, but i dont know what to do.

2morrow · #2 12-02-2008, 08:13 AM

Your story is very similar to mine. I guess some guys just don't like to give. But boy, they sure like to receive !! I also have been seeing my guy for about a year. He has not even once attempted oral. So what does that tell me ! He don't like too. And I am sure the heck not begging for it. But he also has a problem with P.E. Its very frustrating, I haven't seen him in a couple weeks, I talk to him occasionally on the phone, and that has been about it. Its the deal breaker for me.

Honestly, if he doesn't want to do oral, and that is very important to you, I'm afraid to say, life is too short honey, say adios, and keep looking. There are alot of men out there who can't get enough of it and who will truly love to satisfy you that way.

**sTyLeRock** · #3 12-02-2008, 06:18 PM

Well i am the reversed situation,

My girl gets eaten usually every time before sex, i rarely get a bj.. but i've had awsome BJ's in my life and my current g/f isn't the best but not bad, not sure what to tell her to do it better though O.o

But yeah i love eating my girl out, she was on the comp last night playing sims lol i sneaked under table and started eating her, then i told her to surf the net for porn while eating her and she loved it.

i dunno, i do wish she gave me more BJ's but also for it to feel better then it is atm? i dunno

Laters
-Daniel

h0ney · #4 12-02-2008, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sTyLeRock

Well i am the reversed situation, But yeah i love eating my girl out, she was on the comp last night playing sims lol i sneaked under table and started eating her, then i told her to surf the net for porn while eating her and she loved it.

Laters
-Daniel

lol well that helps, thanks..

angel7 baby · #5 12-02-2008, 10:11 PM

well im basically on an even end of this topic. my boyfriend has always given me oral but since i am not as experienced as him, ive only given him oral sex one time. im not sure if he completely enjoyed it because i am well aware that i was not very good, however he never said anything to me. i enjoy giving as well as recieving oral.

anyhow, i think that H0NEY should try to talk to her man more. and im very glad to know that you dont refuse him oral because he wont perform oral for you.

**sTyLeRock** · #6 12-03-2008, 04:33 PM

Sorry honey guess my post wasnt helpful lol,

But my advice would be tell him Straight up, have a convo with him and tell him..

Lifes to short to beat around the bush and play mind games.

and when your intimate in the heat of the moment tell him "eat me".

**zeos133** · #7 12-03-2008, 04:53 PM

could be a chemistry thing. I've dated girls that I had little desire to go down on. For some reason it just wasn't appealing to me. And with other girls I've loved it. I love going down on my current girlfriend. In fact, she's been my favorite so far. She doesn't give back as much as I'd prefer, but I'm not sure how to get more from her without it backfiring on me and then I'd get nothing.

I actually refused to go down on one girl I dated in college. I don't know why, I just didn't want to. There wasn't anything wrong with her. We stayed friends and I found out that her next boyfriend was all about it! If this is the case, then I agree with 2morrow's comment.

But maybe he just needs some encouragement. Have you tried 69? I love giving and receiving at the same time. You say you're clean, but do you shower right before? I've found that sometimes my clean-freak nature gets the best of me and I can be reluctant to do it.

since his answer was that he doesn't like it as much as you do, ask him if there is anything that could make him like it more. Is there something more that he wants?

h0ney · #8 12-03-2008, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeos133

could be a chemistry thing. I've dated girls that I had little desire to go down on. For some reason it just wasn't appealing to me. And with other girls I've loved it. I love going down on my current girlfriend. In fact, she's been my favorite so far. She doesn't give back as much as I'd prefer, but I'm not sure how to get more from her without it backfiring on me and then I'd get nothing.

I actually refused to go down on one girl I dated in college. I don't know why, I just didn't want to. There wasn't anything wrong with her. We stayed friends and I found out that her next boyfriend was all about it! If this is the case, then I agree with 2morrow's comment.

But maybe he just needs some encouragement. Have you tried 69? I love giving and receiving at the same time. You say you're clean, but do you shower right before? I've found that sometimes my clean-freak nature gets the best of me and I can be reluctant to do it.

since his answer was that he doesn't like it as much as you do, ask him if there is anything that could make him like it more. Is there something more that he wants?

i honestly dont know what more could he want. he gets everything from me,
he gets off every time, oral and intercourse, i even let him do anal- im pretty much open to whatever, i rarely ever say no to something. he never has to ask me for something, im usually always up for it and willing to please since my sex drive is high. he really has it made compared to some guys who have gfs that might as well be asexual.

i plan to talk with him more about this since we are meeting up this weekend, i love him but oral is not something i plan to go without for the rest of my life.

he is the first guy ive ever met who wasnt as willing to please in that department which is why this whole situation has left me baffled nonetheless.

and i wasnt even serious with those guys in the past they were just flings, he is my first long term relationship, which makes it harder to just walk away.

had we been dating a month or so and he told me this i probably wouldve left, but its been a year.

alot of time and emotions invested so i want to make this work, im going to give him a chance and see if things improve in that area, maybe its a confidence issue, guess we'll see.