Hi ladies, I just read a thread about a guy with a girlfriend that masturbates even though they have sex about 5 times a week. I have the opposite problem and need some advice.
Here's my story. I'm 28, my girl is 23, and we've been together for three years. I love her more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but our sex life is lacking. She thinks everything is just fine, and is apparently satisfied, but I'm not. I don't tell her this, but I've had a much more satisfying sex life with past girlfriends. The biggest problem for me is that the sex is very inconsistant and we only do it about 2 - 3 times per week (about half what I prefer). Since the beginning, she has always wanted it less than me, and because I love her I've adapted, though I've always hoped that she would start to want it more (hasn't happened). On top of this, she is by far the most difficult woman to please that I've ever been with. I'd say my success rate is about 50/50. And of course this kills my ego and crushes my confidence. This sucks because she is also by far the most gorgeous woman I've ever been with and I absolutely love being sexual with her. What's confusing to me is that sometimes she comes within the first 5 - 10 minutes, and then other times she doesn't even seem to get close. I try to do all the things that are recommended to get your lady in the mood (I also do these thing because I love her). I cook, clean, rub her back, massage her feet, give her lots of love, buy her little gifts, hold her hand, cuddle, tell her daily that she is drop dead gorgeous, light a candle in the bedroom, go down on her, etc. There is no lack of effort on my part, but if you think there is still something more I can do let me know.
I understand that a girl can enjoy sex even if she doesn't climax, but it bothers me that she doesn't always get hers because I know she won't give herself one. My girlfriend NEVER masturbates! I know some of you will say or at least think that she does but won't admit to it, but I'm telling you she honestly does not ever masturbate. I've tried to talk to her about it but she gets EXTREMELY upset. She does not want to masturbate, and I can't figure out why. I think that she needs to learn to masturbate so she can more fully understand her sexuality and what pleases her. Sometimes when we are fooling around, I can tell she's not super turned on, so I'll ask what I can do. But she never has an answer for me. I think this is because she doesn't know how to pleasure herself. So in the end the only person responsible for getting her off is me! Honestly, that is a burden that I do not want and I think its unfair. I've tried to talk to her about masturbating and exploring, so we can have a more open sex life, but she shuts me down every time. Is it normal for a woman to object this strongly to masturbating? I'm worried that maybe there was some kind of sexual abuse when she was younger, but I can't ask that. Should we see a sex therapist?
Help! Thanks!



LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks




Bookmarks