LOL. This made me laugh so hard! Sorry, I love the suggestion, but I pictured my girlfriend coming home and me flipping on a porn and trying to make it seem romantic. hahaha. My gf would be so pissed I wouldn't get any for a month! I know what you meant thoughOriginally Posted by Janel1969
Mar,
These ladies have great suggestions and I think they could definitely help. I see how you might be upset thinking that she has lied about her declining sex drive, but it might not be that black and white. I don't equate sex to masturbation and I don't see one able to replace the other. Instead I tend to view them as complimentary activities and people may need both. She masturbates to fullfil a need, be it stress relief, an escape, personal intimacy, whatever. And sex probably does not do this for her.
I think trying some romance could help. Its all about making love vs having sex. The fullfillment your wife gets from masturbting might be what you experience from sex. In that sense sex is just an exercise and your wife is being generous taking care of your need every few days. I'm like you in this way. I prefer sex to masturbation, but my girlfriend doesn't always want sex, she prefers that we "make love". I enjoy making love, but I also enjoy just having sex. Finding the balance with your partner can be difficult.
Try romancing her a little, but keep in mind that whatever you do its for her, not you. I say this because at the end of the night she might feel very loved and yet not in the mood for sex. Instead she might want to be held by you and simply feel loved. When this happens to me I first feel a bit disappointed because I made the extra effort to romance her and yet I still don't get any! If I get upset about it I'm just being selfish. Be romantic and show your wife a good time because you love her but don't expect anything in return.
good luck.
Good advice Zeos, in a perfect world, all that attention and romancing will eventually bring her to a point of trust and sexual awareness that will create a balance and you will start getting more of what you need. Women need to remember that while for us generally intimacy drives sexual desire, for men sexual fulfillment drives intimacy.
Ladies should learn in a good relationship to find a place in themselves to willingly fill their man's needs even when they aren't fully into it. You'd be surprised what we can train ourselves to and find enjoyment in it. The trick is not to make her feel used. Quickies are good for that but have to be balanced with some long slow love making.
Sadly it can get a lot worse than once every 3 days. I'm pretty sure my wife masturbates (I've seen the toys moved), but we have sex once or twice a month. I don't understand it, and haven't been able to do anything about it.
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