No sex at 19???

**secrets_safe8290** · 12-05-2008 02:38 AM

I have no clue what to do. I am 18 years old and I have been in a serious relationship with my 19 year old fiancé for a year. Even In the begining there were sexual differances. I liked more adventurous (and more offten) then him. He preffered more calm sex. I settled more on his way just being glad to be with him.

Recently things have changed DRASTICALLY. He hasn't wanted to have sex much at all.

I'm 18 and it's hard for me just to put a stop on my sex life completely. I herd that a mans interest in sex slows down with age but he is only 19!

I know he still finds me attractive because he tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is all the time. Still I can't help but think there has to me something wrong with me.

**zeos133** · 12-05-2008 03:44 PM

There's nothing wrong with you. When I was 19 I would have had sex 3 times a day if you'd let me. It's hard to say what's up with him. You're way too young to be dealing with this. Maybe you love him, I don't know. But I guarantee you can find another guy able to meet your expectations.

**SinisterUrge** · 12-05-2008 03:55 PM

Right, nobody deserves to get engaged/married at 19. Thats just divorce waiting to happen.

**sourpuss** · 12-05-2008 10:44 PM

Maybe it's time for a break between the two of you. It sounds like neither of you are getting what you want. 18 is REALLY young and there's not reason to rush into something, ESPECIALLY when there are already problems and incompatibilities.

**secrets_safe8290** · 12-05-2008 11:31 PM

Thanks for the advice the age thing has never really been an issue with me. All that scares me is this happening before were even married. Kinda scary. There are a lot of other guys who are interested in me, I just can't let go of a commitment so big. I really do love him. It's just very hard to deal with.

**shweedart** · 12-06-2008 06:38 AM

Well, differences or not I don't think you should leave him. You clearly love him and this could all just blow over! It's definitely worth discussing with him, whats the worst that could happen? It could change everything and end with a good result

or it could just continue for a while. Chances are its a phase

Could he be stressed? Is he a busy person?

And if you don't mind me asking...how much is 'much at all'

**WildChild** · 12-06-2008 09:21 AM

Do talk to him, you're too young to have to deal with this. At 50 I'm dealing with yet another sexless relationship and it's not healthy, you'd be surprised at how many men do this! It gets more common as they get older.

**hello_pitty** · 12-06-2008 02:48 PM

Communication is very imortant in a relationship, especially marriage. Just ask him whats wrong....maybe he's stressed out...maybe he's getting cold feet.....What ever the reason, sit down with him and ask him to be honest with you...if he can't even tell you why, then thats a red flag and you should RUN, not walk away from this relationship!!

If he's just tired or just doesn't feel like it, thats normal...but make sure to ask him WHY he doesn't feel like it. my fiance wouldn't have sex regularily with me for a a whole 5 months! I was quite worried because all he wanted was oral...but now that it winter and work slowed down for him...he's on me like a rabid horny wolf!!! hehehehe

Don't worry so much girl, you're young and still technically "free"

**silvertae** · 12-06-2008 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by secrets_safe8290

Thanks for the advice the age thing has never really been an issue with me. All that scares me is this happening before were even married. Kinda scary. There are a lot of other guys who are interested in me, I just can't let go of a commitment so big. I really do love him. It's just very hard to deal with.

But the age thing IS an issue because you're too young to have even seen what's available out there. If you took a few years to date around and meet other people you might find someone way more compatible.

If you're scared of letting go of the commitment at this stage, think of how much harder it's going to be when you're stuck in a sexless marriage and MISERABLE.

**secrets_safe8290** · 12-07-2008 02:14 AM

Originally Posted by shweedart

Well, differences or not I don't think you should leave him. You clearly love him and this could all just blow over! It's definitely worth discussing with him, whats the worst that could happen? It could change everything and end with a good result

or it could just continue for a while. Chances are its a phase

Could he be stressed? Is he a busy person?

And if you don't mind me asking...how much is 'much at all'

I don't think I ever could leave him. He is my world. I really do love him. No I don't mind you asking at all. I'd say about 1 a month maybe twice. It's MUCH less then it used to be. But he has been very stressed out.

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