Thread: What's wrong with not liking to give oral?

If someone doesnt like to give or receive oral, why are they encouraged to do it anyway? People give reasons like "the guy will look elsewhere" well, don't men look elsewhere regardless of what a woman does in bed? I know there are plenty of women who give blowjobs who've had their relationships end due to infedility

What happened to the saying different strokes, different folks? If someone doesn't like giving oral than they shouldn't be encouraged to do it anyway or be told that a man will leave them if they don't. I don't see why it's necessarily important that you HAVE to do it, some can still have a satisfying sex life without it.

Well the sad truth is that most men wont put up with a sex life in which they dont receive oral.

Its not really the oral sex that bothers me or other men its the effort that the lady I'm with is willing to give.

Poor sex life will ruin a relationship in most cases its just the fact.

Myself if I'm with a women and she is not willing to give oral then ill move on. Its not really the act its the thought that counts haha

Sex should be about both having a orgasmic night. If one is too selfish to receive and not give then its not really a mature attitude.
So People are giving advice by telling her/him to try it out to please the partner because they know from experience if your not willing to put in the effort it causes problems in the long run? Which is good advice.

Understand?

Live laugh and love

I'm a guy.

If my lady doesn't love my , I'm going to find someone else who does. That's the unfortunate reality for you ladies... And as LLL says, it's more about what it says about your character than the actual lack of oral stimulation. Well, as well as.

Tell me again why I should put up with a life of no blowjobs? Especially since I usually go the extra mile to make sure she's pleased.

Originally Posted by Livelaughlove

Well the sad truth is that most men wont put up with a sex life in which they dont receive oral.

Its not really the oral sex that bothers me or other men its the effort that the lady I'm with is willing to give.

Poor sex life will ruin a relationship in most cases its just the fact.

Myself if I'm with a women and she is not willing to give oral then ill move on. Its not really the act its the thought that counts haha

Sex should be about both having a orgasmic night. If one is too selfish to receive and not give then its not really a mature attitude.
So People are giving advice by telling her/him to try it out to please the partner because they know from experience if your not willing to put in the effort it causes problems in the long run? Which is good advice.

Understand?

Live laugh and love

I don't think no oral sex equals poor sex life. If she truly does not like it, and doesn't want to do it, it does not mean she has a poor character. She shouldn't be encouraged to do something she doesn't enjoy. I don't see what's so wrong about not liking it

Sometimes, I even read posts where a woman does not want to try anal sex, and the posters are still giving tips on how to encourage the woman to engage in it. If someone doesn't like a sex act, why can't that just be understood? why do they have to keep finding ways to make them do it, if that's not their cup of tea

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

I don't think no oral sex equals poor sex life. If she truly does not like it, and doesn't want to do it, it does not mean she has a poor character. She shouldn't be encouraged to do something she doesn't enjoy. I don't see what's so wrong about not liking it

A lack of oral does indeed equal a poor sex life. Not having a penis, not being a man, and being frigid means that you can't really understand the male point of view on this. Which would I rather out of a woman that begrudgingly and unhappily gives blowjobs or a woman who gives no blowjobs at all? I'd take option C, I'd find someone who enjoyed it.

A blowjob without heart in it is worse than no blowjob at all, if you yourself aren't enjoying it - it is pointless. It's your right not to enjoy it, and it's not something I'd force you to do. I would simply look for a more compatible match - someone who enjoyed something I enjoyed.

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

Sometimes, I even read posts where a woman does not want to try anal sex, and the posters are still giving tips on how to encourage the woman to engage in it. If someone doesn't like a sex act, why can't that just be understood? why do they have to keep finding ways to make them do it, if that's not their cup of tea

The reason people try to change people and open their minds to sexual practices is because mostly the reasons against them are quite pathetic. Eww, mummy told me willies are diiirty, why would I put one of those in my mouth? I'm a proper lady, I don't want to be one of those types of girls etc. With that basis, that woman will never open up sexually and will never even give blowjobs a proper go, because she is basically dysfunctional in her own head.

Things such as not liking/being willing to perform blowjobs, recieve anal are simply barriers that society and poor upbringing have constructed in your mind, actually separating you from the animal that you should have been without all of these artificially constructed moral rules. Is it fun knowing someone who cannot deconstruct the mental systems of control that society has ingrained in them? No - is the answer to that one. Bring me someone more liberated so I can stick my penis up their arse ...

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

A lack of oral does indeed equal a poor sex life. Not having a penis, not being a man, and being frigid means that you can't really understand the male point of view on this. Which would I rather out of a woman that begrudgingly and unhappily gives blowjobs or a woman who gives no blowjobs at all? I'd take option C, I'd find someone who enjoyed it.

A blowjob without heart in it is worse than no blowjob at all, if you yourself aren't enjoying it - it is pointless. It's your right not to enjoy it, and it's not something I'd force you to do. I would simply look for a more compatible match - someone who enjoyed something I enjoyed.


The reason people try to change people and open their minds to sexual practices is because mostly the reasons against them are quite pathetic. Eww, mummy told me willies are diiirty, why would I put one of those in my mouth? I'm a proper lady, I don't want to be one of those types of girls etc. With that basis, that woman will never open up sexually and will never even give blowjobs a proper go, because she is basically dysfunctional in her own head.

Things such as not liking/being willing to perform blowjobs, recieve anal are simply barriers that society and poor upbringing have constructed in your mind, actually separating you from the animal that you should have been without all of these artificially constructed moral rules. Is it fun knowing someone who cannot deconstruct the mental systems of control that society has ingrained in them? No - is the answer to that one. Bring me someone more liberated so I can stick my penis up their arse ...

The reasons for not doing it is not always for the ones you cited in your post. Some women try it, and just don't like it. It doesn't make them dysfunctional. If a woman wanted to stick a dildo up your behind, you wouldn't be so open to that now would you?? Probalby not. You wouldn't appreciate her pressuring you and presuming your reasons are because of your upbringing and that you're dysfunctional and homophobic.

A blowjob without heart in it is worse than no blowjob at all, if you yourself aren't enjoying it - it is pointless. It's your right not to enjoy it, and it's not something I'd force you to do. I would simply look for a more compatible match - someone who enjoyed something I enjoyed.

That is the best thing to do. I just don't like how some members will intruct a poster to encourage their S/O into something they clearly don't like. Why can't they jsut encourage them to accept the fact that their partner doesn't wnat to do it and maybe compromise and do something else that they BOTH like.

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

I don't think no oral sex equals poor sex life.

Sadfrigidgirl Have you ever had a lover that has given you the most satisfying oral sexual encounter youve ever had? Do you remember how that feels...Now imagine that being taken away from you?

Its not a very good feeling is it? Not to have something that you feel should have.

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

If she truly does not like it, and doesn't want to do it, it does not mean she has a poor character.

Ok I agree with you. However if she is not willing to give it a DECENT amount of effort (that does not mean one or twice either), then what does that say about a her... Ill let you come to your own conclusion...

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

She shouldn't be encouraged to do something she doesn't enjoy. I don't see what's so wrong about not liking it

I as long as the rest of the male society would never force a women to do a sexual act. There is nothing wrong with having boundaries.

I can guarantee she will find a guy that will accept that. But I can most certainly say that that same man will be just as close minded as her and will not give her the sexual satisfaction she really deserves.

Originally Posted by SadFrigidGirl

Sometimes, I even read posts where a woman does not want to try anal sex, and the posters are still giving tips on how to encourage the woman to engage in it. If someone doesn't like a sex act, why can't that just be understood? why do they have to keep finding ways to make them do it, if that's not their cup of tea

Your comparing apples and orenges here. One is GIVING (oral) and one is RECIEVING (anal).

It’s all about give and take. Your focus should always be on giving. Because when both people are giving, then both people are receiving.

Sex is like a dance a great dance.

Btw.... There are not many ways of pleasing a guy as there is a girl. We dont have a organ soley dedicated to sexual pleasure. So it should be in the girls best interest to please her partner.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

Originally Posted by Livelaughlove

Sadfrigidgirl Have you ever had a lover that has given you the most satisfying oral sexual encounter youve ever had? Do you remember how that feels...Now imagine that being taken away from you?

Its not a very good feeling is it? Not to have something that you feel should have.

It's not a reason to throw away a relationship. What if the next woman you find gives a blowjob but doesn't want to have sex? What if you never find that balance?

I can guarantee she will find a guy that will accept that. But I can most certainly say that that same man will be just as close minded as her and will not give her the sexual satisfaction she really deserves.

Why would that make someone close minded just because they don't like oral sex? There are a lot of people out there who don't think it feels good to them, and it has nothing to do with thinking it's dirty, nasty, filthy, they simply don't like it. I think it's narrowminded to label people that way. Is there a rulebook that says you have to have a satisfying sex life in order to give and receive oral? what if they find other acts much more intimate and satisfying? Their sex life can be better than yours even though you do give and receive it.

Your comparing apples and orenges here. One is GIVING (oral) and one is RECIEVING (anal).

It's the same difference. One partner wants the other to engage in a sex act that they don't like.

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[LEFT]It’s all about give and take. Your focus should always be on giving. Because when both people are giving, then both people are receiving.

yeah but giving should be something that you WANT and DESIRE to do. why stress out over something your partner doesn't want to do instead of focusing on things you BOTH want to do together

Btw.... There are not many ways of pleasing a guy as there is a girl. We dont have a organ soley dedicated to sexual pleasure. So it should be in the girls best interest to please her partner.

Apparently, a man can have an orgasm from anal stimulation. yet I don't see women getting mad or getting upset when their guy refuses. the majority of men would NEVER do this yet i don't see them getting slammed and called close minded

Sadfrigid girl it seems to me that you are very adamant in your position. Which i can respect.

There are always going to be people that have different views on different topics. If a girl is not willing to give oral and a guy is willing to accept that then may they live in happiness.

But like that young lady I also have my standards. So we will never work out.

I see you've been upset about previous members giving advice to certain posters. You have to understand that they are giving there opinions to the best of there knowledge. Its not there fault if you dont agree with them. Thats why you have the POWER to exercise your opinion and argue your side.

For the sake of debate we can be here forever. BUT To win in argument you have to understand both sides. Your only arguing from one side

I asked you how would you feel if that orgasmic oral sexual encounter was taken away from you and you did not answer. My purpose was to have you view the argument from my side of the fence.

Live laugh and love