Thread: HELP I need advice

Hello I have been living with my bf for a year and a half, up until about 3-4 months was MORE than wonderful.

We made love at LEAST 2 times a day, now its never I beg him but he just doesnt want me.

I asked him/ try and talk to him all the time about it.. I ask him if he just doesnt want me he says he does.. its not that. I ask if its my weight (im thick ~ but always have been) no its not that he says..

Please help what could it be..

could it be he doesnt want me? he is bothered by my weight now? or something worse??

Just to be honest with you, it is odd for a man not to want sex. My ex wife was 120lbs when we got married and got up to over 200lbs. It did not change my desire to want to be with her. If the weight is an issue, he is a superficial person and you don't want to be with him anyhow. Take it from me... as hard as it is to end a relationship, it's better to do it quickly and get over it than to put off the inevitable and waste much time in misery when there is someone out there who will appreciate you for who/what you are. On the other hand.. it could be a number of things. Most of my friends who stop having sex with thier s/o's is usually because of a "performance" issue. If you feel this may be the case, you need to address it very tenderly, us men are really sensative about that..lol

Thanks, well i hear you on the "shallow" part over my weight..

As for performance, I know he doesnt have a problem with that for alot of reasons.. when we were making love a couple times a day .. at a drop of a hat..

i guess i thought he was ok with my weight because things were so amazing up until 3-4 months ago.. I know he LOVES porn (which I dont have a problem with ~ unless thats why we arent making love anymore)

i was thinking many hes getting somewhere else?

He could just be stressed out. Guys because really uninterested in sex when there's a lot going on. I never thought he could, but my boyfriend went an entire week without even a remote interest in sex because we were having some money issues. Try to find out if this is the problem, and if it is, try to get him relaxed. If not, the problem could be medical. There are many reasons why a guy doesn't want to have sex, it doesn't have to be that he's cheating.

Originally Posted by Sassy_Tats

I ask if its my weight (im thick ~ but always have been) no its not that he says..

He says it not your weight!

Originally Posted by Sassy_Tats

Please help what could it be..

Sassy it could be so many,many things. We could speculate all these but until he lets you inside to find out, speculation will not help! You see?

You're really going to have to try harder at asking him what it is, Is he distant in any other way, I mean by the way he treats you, this can be an indication of some other issue that you don't see and the sex is just a result. Could be something going on in his life or in his head that does'nt have anything to do with you. Don't assume it's you that he's having a problem with. It may very well be an outside issue!

Originally Posted by In-Need

He says it not your weight!


Sassy it could be so many,many things. We could speculate all these but until he lets you inside to find out, speculation will not help! You see?

You're really going to have to try harder at asking him what it is, Is he distant in any other way, I mean by the way he treats you, this can be an indication of some other issue that you don't see and the sex is just a result. Could be something going on in his life or in his head that does'nt have anything to do with you. Don't assume it's you that he's having a problem with. It may very well be an outside issue!

Thanks so much, I ask him all the time, beg him just to talk to me. Some of those had ran through my head.. but when I have been talking to him about it for going on 4 months now and he just doesnt want to talk to me..

But again, is he treating you differently any other way than he had before, I mean any other way at all?

Originally Posted by In-Need

But again, is he treating you differently any other way than he had before, I mean any other way at all?

a couple of hours ago i would have said yeah alittle.. but now

he thinks we need a break went to a friends houe..

There ya go, somethings up, what we don't no but there's an underlying current right?

But now, you can't force the issue, it will make it worse.
As much as it will hurt you'll have to wait it out, for a while at least. Until he's ready to face it he won't talk about it. Naturally you can't wait forever but some time will be needed.

if he wont commit then wat can you do weight doesn't matter at all ever if he loves you he will just tell you wats wrong he may just be worried that he won't be able to perform right