How to open wifes hidden desires - Page 2

**skipper** · 02-26-2009, 11:21 AM

Yeah, sounds like maybe your hidden desires and not hers. That said, why not find out what her hidden desires are? I recently filled out a bdsm checklist that covered all types of sexual activity and emailed it to my wife and asked her to fill it out and send it back. The list was quite comprehensive and asked that you rate each activity from 'that totally grosses me out" to "mmmm, I can't get enough of that". We've been together 12 yrs and it was amazing what we learned about each other and we have since been doing some kinky stuff that has really spiced up our sex lives.

When doing new stuff, make sure you have a safe word. We use "ouch" and that means stop, desist, and cease operations immediately.

ritengo · 02-26-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BettyBoop

Don't you mean your hidden desires ?

Push a dildo up your own anus and ask yourself honestly - does it feel pleasant ?

I have to agree with this.

However, she may be open to the idea of anal sex or other stuff. I like the idea of pp's of each of you making a list of 10 things you might like to try or doing the sex checklist where you can rate your interest in each activity.

gardngrl · 02-27-2009, 07:49 PM

The key for me was respect outside of the bedroom. From the beginning I was willing to do more with my husband. I believe this was because he looked at me as his true equal. It allowed me to be more subservient sexually, which is something I never knew I wanted. Now that we have been married for years I am willing to try all kinds of new things because I know he loves. I also know that if I really don’t enjoy it I can tell him I really don’t want to do it anymore. I remember the day after our first anal sex encounter (which I initiated) I was worried that he would look at me differently. He did look at me differently. He was walking around like I have the best wife in the world!

kate95864 · 02-27-2009, 08:49 PM

first off, you sound like a healthy man with a healthy desire to try different things with your wife....as you could actually be "catting" around and have any sexual fantasy you wanted with another woman. so bravo, for your innate desires to explore your woman...not others!!!!!!

now, as a woman, i notice that i am much more open to my mans fantasy when i feel he is totally in love with me..odd, i know, but hey, thats how woman are. so, when my man wanted anal sex, and i was "what???????" he started to woo me. told me how hot bottom was. brought me flowers. told me he felt he was the luckiest guy in the world to have such a hot sexy wife.....this went on for a little while. what i noticed was, i started to WANT to please him. to give myself over to hm completely in the bedroom..i started asking, then begging, to try anal sex. guess what...I LOVE ANAL SEX NOW!
give it a try. we basically just want to know that we are totally loved, and the rest is easy...as long as it is true and very sincere.

**mewhenim** · 03-06-2009, 04:59 PM

I can see how she may feel it's degrading and you should respect that. If she says no, thats about the end of it. If you can slowly and subtleley (sp?) introduce some things, you may be able to get into it. Then there are other things that have no half way... like facials. Anyway, try something along the lines you're wanting without going all the way would be my best advice.

02-27-2009, 08:49 PM	#14
kate95864 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 6	okay! first off, you sound like a healthy man with a healthy desire to try different things with your wife....as you could actually be "catting" around and have any sexual fantasy you wanted with another woman. so bravo, for your innate desires to explore your woman...not others!!!!!! now, as a woman, i notice that i am much more open to my mans fantasy when i feel he is totally in love with me..odd, i know, but hey, thats how woman are. so, when my man wanted anal sex, and i was "what???????" he started to woo me. told me how hot bottom was. brought me flowers. told me he felt he was the luckiest guy in the world to have such a hot sexy wife.....this went on for a little while. what i noticed was, i started to WANT to please him. to give myself over to hm completely in the bedroom..i started asking, then begging, to try anal sex. guess what...I LOVE ANAL SEX NOW! give it a try. we basically just want to know that we are totally loved, and the rest is easy...as long as it is true and very sincere.

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02-26-2009, 11:21 AM	#11
skipper Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Pensacola Posts: 110	Yeah, sounds like maybe your hidden desires and not hers. That said, why not find out what her hidden desires are? I recently filled out a bdsm checklist that covered all types of sexual activity and emailed it to my wife and asked her to fill it out and send it back. The list was quite comprehensive and asked that you rate each activity from 'that totally grosses me out" to "mmmm, I can't get enough of that". We've been together 12 yrs and it was amazing what we learned about each other and we have since been doing some kinky stuff that has really spiced up our sex lives. When doing new stuff, make sure you have a safe word. We use "ouch" and that means stop, desist, and cease operations immediately.

02-27-2009, 07:49 PM	#13
gardngrl Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: maryland Posts: 12	The key for me was respect outside of the bedroom. From the beginning I was willing to do more with my husband. I believe this was because he looked at me as his true equal. It allowed me to be more subservient sexually, which is something I never knew I wanted. Now that we have been married for years I am willing to try all kinds of new things because I know he loves. I also know that if I really don’t enjoy it I can tell him I really don’t want to do it anymore. I remember the day after our first anal sex encounter (which I initiated) I was worried that he would look at me differently. He did look at me differently. He was walking around like I have the best wife in the world!

03-06-2009, 04:59 PM	#15
mewhenim Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 159	I can see how she may feel it's degrading and you should respect that. If she says no, thats about the end of it. If you can slowly and subtleley (sp?) introduce some things, you may be able to get into it. Then there are other things that have no half way... like facials. Anyway, try something along the lines you're wanting without going all the way would be my best advice.