Thread: 17 && devastated!!

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Because "guys" have lines... And, they will use them purely to get into your pants, but all the while you are hoping that they "like you" and therefore, ask you out again and again and then ask you to be their girlfriend.

'WEEKNESS", yep.. You think if you don't sleep with them, then they aren't going to go out with you, or they may even give you that impression, it's all a game.

'STRENGTH', get your mind together... NO SEX, until the 8th date, haha, think how many guys will remain, (1) no doubt, the rest will move on to the other girls giving it out left right and centre.

Then you can have what you are after.

But, not until you get your mind around the fact that they are playing the game, and ALL boys interested in a relationship, ALL, don't want the girl sleeping with them on the first date, or second, because it means they give in, too easily. And, therefore there is no interest.

Your turn to PLAY THE GAME.

So that you are a winner.

Good luck.

CW

This is so true!! I always feel that If I dont put out fast enough they will just get bored && ditch me for some other girl who will..when in reality I get ditched anyway!! So I should do what is NOT gonna lower my self-esteem and that is TOTALLY ABSTAINING from any sexual encounters that are just gonna leave me feeling worthless!! You also had a very good point about all guys wanting a relationship, and when they do pick a girl its never the girl putting out on the 1st date!! One of the guys who I was sexually involved with told me:"HOW DO I KNOW YOU DONT DO THIS WITH EVERY GUY???"!! He left me speechless almost making me realize that I have become nothing but a tramp!! Its hard for me to get over the past, but I feel that im only making it worse by repeating the same mistake!! I really like the no sex until the 8th date thing!! This by far is the best advice I have gotten!! Its something that i really needed!! Its not the end of the world, so I just need to wisen up, cOntinue with the KEGELS && keep my legs closed, until prince charming sweeps me off my feet..but even that man is gonna have to prove himself worthy to receive play time!! haha' Thank you so much!! your advice is deeply appreciated!!

Totally agree with CW.

You are learning young that YOU choose what you become. If you don't want to be a "loose" girl, a weak girl, a girl that guys walk all over because they know she's easy.......then DON'T BE. It's truly that simple.

It's not just you.....most guys you age are going to test the limits with any girl. You can choose to set yourself apart from the other girls or you can allow yourself to be weak. You will also find that though you think you're "starving" for this attention, after you get it, you'll feel more starved than ever. It becomes a vicious cycle.

My advice, stop now. You have MANY years ahead of you of GREAT sex with people that truly care for you. Don't waste yourself. Becoming physically "loose" should be the least of your worries.......becoming weak, used, demeaned, and beaten down by the lack of respect should be your concern. Because that is inevitably what will happen if you don't change your lifestyle.

Hang in there....be strong...and you'll learn ALOT about yourself. :-)

it is perfectly ok to NOT have sex, if a guy asks, tell him it's too soon, if he likes you he will respect that and if not then all he is after is a roll in the proverbial hay!

it's been a long time since I was a teenager but I told all my dates from the beginning that I couldn't make love until I was in love...I had one guy cancel our first date because of it but that's OK!

Originally Posted by alicat

I told all my dates from the beginning that I couldn't make love until I was in love

oMg!! I love that! Its so true..not even one of my Sex partners were someone I even cared for on a Romantic Level. I just did because thats what they wanted..I do wanna change my lifestyle..This is not who I'am, or who I was brought up to be!! I have two of the greatest parents alive!! I love them so much!! I also know they love me more than I can ever understand..Thats why I appreciate to hear advice from an older one, because I cant come to my parents with these issues..They only know about me losing my virginity && man if that tore them up so much.I dont even know how they would react to this!! I just wish I could erase it all!! Now I finally understand why young youths are not to bein having sex, because the emotional damage is to much to bear at such a young age!! Its so hard for me..I thought sex would fill up my emptiness, but it only made it worse!! I feel like sucha bad person..I wanna moveb away where no one knows me and start fresh!! but I can't runaway from it!! I gotta face it, && learn how to cope..Its hard to cope thoe, when you have no one to turn to, because you are too afraid that they wont understand..But i gotta take one day at a time!! Thank you again!! That Is now gonna be my motto!! haha'

You are very young honey. Stop sleeping with men for attention. This is not the way to get a man to love you. Do your kegels and take time to get to know a guy before you sleep with him.