Thread: virginity lost at 14

ok well, i had sex the other day with a guy i really care about and i have been with for about 5 months. i dont have regrets. we used a condom and he pulled out to, so im not worried bout pregnancy. i told him to get tested for any kind of disease before we did anything and he didnt have any. my mom has always said that if i have sex to come to her and tell her so i can go to the doctor and get my shots and all that stuff but im scared to tell her even though she said that cause i know she will think of me different. she always talks bout brother doin that and gets mad. she never lets me alone with a guy. my boyfriends mom dont let him alone with a girl either, but she was at work when we had sex and his dad didnt care. i have no idea how to bring it up or anything. she is way over protective. she wont even let me spend the night off with a friend. she told me before she wouldnt get mad or upset but now that i have done it i think she will get upset. it wouldnt bother her that bad if i wasnt 14(ill be 15 january 31 though). please give me some advise how to exactly tell her and if your a mom what would you say if i was your daughter?

She'll be upset, you're her little girl and you are young. But the fact that she has already told you that you can come to her is a good sign that she is realistic and knows that eventually you're going to have sex. You are human after all.

She also obviously cares about your health and safety. I think if you approach her in a mature way she'll be receptive. Ask her if you can have a girl to girl talk and tell her that you did have sex. Be sure to reassure her that you were safe and smart about it. (that will make her feel much better about the whole thing)

She's doing something right because you seem to be very level headed and mature. Good luck.

do think she will ever let me alone with a guy now that i have had sex?

the whole time that was why she wouldnt but now that i have would it make a difference?

she will realize that im grownin up so would she let me off her leash and let me do stuff?
i have never got in trouble but she wont let me do stuff cause my brother is bad and she dont want me like him.

Well, considering that she was pretty protective before I'm willing to bet that she will continue to be, maybe even more so. But you're 15, that's pretty young and she's right to be protective. It may seem unbearable at times, but she's doing what best for you. You have a whole lifetime of having great sex ahead of you. I wouldn't let the fear of your mom keeping an eye on you stop you from talking to her about sex. If you're going to be having sex, you really should get the HPV shots and talk to your mom about birth control options and all the other stuff that goes along with being sexually active.

thanks for your help. and im gettin birth control soon anyway cause of my period. do you have to have a pap smear or be touched when gettin birth control?

Well, if you're sexually active you should have an exam anyway. I think the doctor will most likely suggest that you have one.

I lost my virginity when I was thirteen. I told my mom four months later. She was really mad because me and the boy I had lost it to had broken up, she got all emotional but she told me she was there for me. Everytime i've had sex since I told her, and it really improved our relationship. I would just tell her. She'll trust you A lot more. Thats how my mom was, no mom wants their daughter to lose it at a young age, but some people are just like that. I had bad experiences and she was sort of angry with me at first but eventually she got over it. Theres nothing your mom can really do but try and keep you away from him, but everyone knows there's no way passed seeing someone you care about. (: Hope this helped.

i just dont know how to tell her? its hard for me to even talk to her about my periods. i just feel weird and unconformable talkin bout that, especially with older people like my mom.

well know that your mom is not that close to u in this way so start off telling her that you are thinking about having sex and see how she reacts to that is she reacts as if she cant be leave that her baby want to have sex and she starts to say no to lot of thing that involve going outside then sit her dawn and explain that locking u dawn does not stop what u fell and that it would be better if she start acting like she cared and put u on beth control and and one day in that week that u got beth control tell her and then tell her she will take it lighter and be more calm