this is the problem wit FWB.
one usually wants more than the other. its noones fault, it just happens.
if your FWB with him, chances are he is FWB with someone else. ask him, what do you have to lose other than the benefits.
FWB can also lead to losing your friendship also.
if one of you meet another, can either of you handle it?
it isnt wrong to be FWB just tricky at times.
I think CW hit the nail on th head. I'm not sure it's sex you're really after but instead have hopes that the sex will make him "like" you on a deeper level. So, you're not really "friends" with benefits, because is he truly your friend, or just someone you care for and want to like you back?
You're setting yourself up for some major blows to your self esteem. Sex is not the way to get the guy....because for the most part, they like somewhat of a challenge. Yep, he'll have sex with you every time, but it won't make him have feelings for you and in most cases it actually eliminates the possibility for him developing deeper feelings.
You are giving your body to this person as a token of expression. What's wrong with just telling someone how you feel rather than sleeping with them? Then, when MUTUAL feelings develop, THEN you consider giving your body as a token of expression.
Stop the sex....you're not ready for it. Tell him how you feel. Then there's no room for doubt and no need to compromise yourself and your dignity for him. Be honest with him.....and most importantly be honest with yourself.
Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH
i want both lol hey i'm only human
Firstly, where the heck did you get beautiful disaster from? Seriously, I see no disaster, none lol.Beautiful Disaster
You are giving your body to this person as a token of expression. What's wrong with just telling someone how you feel rather than sleeping with them? Then, when MUTUAL feelings develop, THEN you consider giving your body as a token of expression.
Stop the sex....you're not ready for it. Tell him how you feel. Then there's no room for doubt and no need to compromise yourself and your dignity for him. Be honest with him.....and most importantly be honest with yourself.
Secondly to the threader, whilst i may have seen what you are really feeling the words are above and from others are words that are very true, very...
If you "dont" give, he won't think he can have it all and maybe, just maybe, he may get envious that your not there, for him.
Get tough.... love is tough....
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Personally I can't handle the FWB if I actually care at all. I mean in the sense of beyond being very casual freinds. In this day and age the multiple partners thing is iffy. Some STDs such as herpes can pass even with a condom because the sores can occur widely across the gential region.
It may stop you being quite so physically desparate but I've found it can be emotionally damaging and stressful. Of course I'm older, I come out of the generation that came of age with the highest degree of sexual freedom ever, we had good BC and nothing uncurable that could be caught. We could get away with casual sex. Now I see it as a very different situation, one that requires more trust and care.
Thank you for the advice everyonee. I think I'm going to talk to him and tell him what's on my mind and just stop the sex. Hopefully things work outt in the end I appreciate everyones opinionsss
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