Thread: A Barrage of Questions! What's normal, what's not?

I think that before you are able to have an orgasm with your boyfriend you will need to experience one for yourself, you are giving him a really tall order of figuring out how to please you when even you are unsure of what it would take to please you... do you know what I mean?

If you are comfortable with this idea, when you are alone.. relaxed, think of him. Think about what turns you on about him and explore your body. When touching yourself find what feels good and keep doing it, when you find the right way to touch - the pleasure will build, go with it... when you think you can't make it feel any better than it does, just keep going eventually you will hit a peak, a wave of pleasure... an eruption inside of you that feels like a spasm, after that rubbing will feel more sensative and ticklish

At least thats how it is for me! lol

What she said!!!

You did have an orgasm in your sleep. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?

you know i think another things to try would maybe to get a vibrator. if you really can't get to an orgasm thats a great way for you and your partner to find out if you can. i know with me, and many many other women, there body just isn't as sensitive. if touching yourself or him touching you just isn't enough it could be as simple as needing more stimulation. try something like a bullit on a very low settings and see what happends! just remember, sex is FUN! don't let yourself get so worked up and worried about not being able to do it because your body will respond to your nerves. relax, enjoy your time, enjoy your body, and don't even think about getting to an orgasm, just think about exploring and having alittle fun!!!

Thanks everyone! Hearing what you have to say has been really helpful. I'm really thinking about what you're saying.

SinisterUrge-- it's happened a few times; sometimes I don't remember the dream, sometimes I can see where it might have contributed (but not really?), but usually, it makes no sense and seems almost random!

Also, I've been trying to experiment with finding out what I like-- the problem is, I don't like masturbating and I can't seem to make any progress. Everyone seems to recommend masturbation as a way to figure things out, and it makes sense, but I can't seem to get it to work for me. That must be weird! Or is it?

MissLyss - masturbation has never quite done the trick for me either. I love the feeling of a mans body......the body heat, the smell of him, the smell of he and I together, the sounds......the oh so beautiful penis. So....when masturbating, I try to think about these things, and don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, but I never orgasm through masturbation.

Actually, you sound a lot like me. When I started having sex, I was oh so in love....and would've done anything to please him and he would've me. I faked it...regularly.....couldn't to save me have an orgasm. But finally...after more than a year of regular sex, I found my spot. For me, it is on top, riding him sliding my pelvic area forward and backward. The first time I discovered this.....WOW, is all I can say.

So, you'll find your spot....it comes with time, with comfort, with being able to fully let go while not having to worry how the other person is feeling, but just KNOWING you're satisfying them. try not to worry about it...try not to "look" for your orgasm....you won't find it that way. For women, it's truly such a mindset.....or for me at least. If I'm feeling uncomfortable, unattractive for some reason, or various other things, I just CAN'T do it. Overthinking can keep you from coming to the BIG O as well.

Best of luck to you. It sounds like you have an awesome guy that you can learn and experiment with. Remember, he's as inexperienced in this as you are. :-) Give it time.....and it'll all just come naturally.

Originally Posted by cassie66

i agree try a vibrator, its the only way i can have an orgasm, as i never have one with my husband.

you can play with a vibrator and your husband at the same time.