He cannot last

Shellbear · 01-17-2009, 08:41 PM

Hi all, I am new to these forums. I am lost. I don't know what to do. My husband cannot last. I have not had sex for more than 10 to 30 seconds in years. I love to make him feel good but after I do he just orgasms within 10 to 30 seconds and that's it. I'm so un-fulfilled. I tried talking to him once before and he just got defensive and annoyed. What do I do? It's like he couldn't care less about my pleasure. I'm so fed up. Advice?

**rcoreyus** · 01-17-2009, 11:52 PM

Not an uncommon problem. Making him stress about it will probably make it worse. Maybe he would be happy to do other things to bring you to orgasm first - that might reduce the pressure for him to perform (for both of you). Or, if he finishes too quickly, how long does it take him to be ready again?

**cassie66** · 01-18-2009, 01:49 AM

my first husband was like that,it was like instant. my 2nd hubby has theopposite prob sometimes he cant finish! frustrating

**shweedart** · 01-18-2009, 06:04 AM

suggest nicely...stamina gel?

kcspres · 01-24-2009, 12:30 AM

EMLA cream

Also tell him to quit masturbating like it is the 50yard dash...it is a learned response.

**cassie66** · 01-24-2009, 01:50 AM

my hubby rarelyclimaxesbutwhen he does theres hardly any semen

**nightqueen** · 01-24-2009, 03:07 PM

Your husband should take an interest in making you orgasm too. If he can't through sex, then he should do other things to make you satisfied. Your pleasure is as important as his.

I would also suggest that your husband see a doctor, maybe a urologist.

**kms** · 01-25-2009, 01:30 AM

One thought is that he should be focused on pleasuring you first when you have sex, which can be achieved foreplay. Then when you're feeling close, you can go ahead with intercourse to make it more satisfying for both of you. Perhaps not ideal but I would think it's better than what's going on now.

Also, it sounds like he's very conscious of his problem due to his defensive response. Try to approach it in a very open, understanding way. He really needs to see that you need to be satisfied sexually too... and try to help him see that you want to help him figure it out together - don't just make him feel like you're blaming him or angry with him. I don't think that would help much.

01-17-2009, 08:41 PM	#1
Shellbear Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 1	He cannot last Hi all, I am new to these forums. I am lost. I don't know what to do. My husband cannot last. I have not had sex for more than 10 to 30 seconds in years. I love to make him feel good but after I do he just orgasms within 10 to 30 seconds and that's it. I'm so un-fulfilled. I tried talking to him once before and he just got defensive and annoyed. What do I do? It's like he couldn't care less about my pleasure. I'm so fed up. Advice?

01-18-2009, 01:49 AM	#3
cassie66 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: chesterfeild, england Posts: 346	my first husband was like that,it was like instant. my 2nd hubby has theopposite prob sometimes he cant finish! frustrating __________________ blaze is the messiah

01-18-2009, 06:04 AM	#4
shweedart Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Essex in England, near London Posts: 637	suggest nicely...stamina gel? __________________ You know the way a poem sometimes makes an absurd connection That's him Lyrically professing his affection...

01-24-2009, 01:50 AM	#6
cassie66 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: chesterfeild, england Posts: 346	my hubby rarelyclimaxesbutwhen he does theres hardly any semen __________________ blaze is the messiah

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

01-17-2009, 11:52 PM	#2
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,723	Not an uncommon problem. Making him stress about it will probably make it worse. Maybe he would be happy to do other things to bring you to orgasm first - that might reduce the pressure for him to perform (for both of you). Or, if he finishes too quickly, how long does it take him to be ready again?

01-24-2009, 12:30 AM	#5
kcspres Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 15	EMLA cream Also tell him to quit masturbating like it is the 50yard dash...it is a learned response.

01-24-2009, 03:07 PM	#7
nightqueen Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 195	Your husband should take an interest in making you orgasm too. If he can't through sex, then he should do other things to make you satisfied. Your pleasure is as important as his. I would also suggest that your husband see a doctor, maybe a urologist.

01-25-2009, 01:30 AM	#8
kms Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 269	One thought is that he should be focused on pleasuring you first when you have sex, which can be achieved foreplay. Then when you're feeling close, you can go ahead with intercourse to make it more satisfying for both of you. Perhaps not ideal but I would think it's better than what's going on now. Also, it sounds like he's very conscious of his problem due to his defensive response. Try to approach it in a very open, understanding way. He really needs to see that you need to be satisfied sexually too... and try to help him see that you want to help him figure it out together - don't just make him feel like you're blaming him or angry with him. I don't think that would help much.