I first had sex about a year ago with my ex boyfriend. It was in the back of his car (Romantic, huh?) And wasn't very long. The problem was, I didn't feel anything. Not like numbness, I could definately feel him, just no pleasure. Does anyone else have this problem? This has happened with both of my partners. There was no pain or bleeding (I'm an avid horseback rider, so that part doesn't surprise me. Self stimulation has been clitoral only with the fingers (No vibrators or toys) and would be a bit difficult to re-enact during sex. This is also the same with my breasts. They aren't very sensitive. Nipples react to hot/cold and slight stimulation, but I don't get anything mindblowing out of it. I have orgasmed by self-stimulation, but I prefer a more unorthadox method. Having a partner re-enact it would be too humorous for me to stand, if not awkward.

Is it possible that I just wasn't aroused enough? (It was a spur of the moment thing, pretty much every time). Could it be psychological? I didn't really love (Or care deeply) about either of my partners. Is there something wrong with me? I've had numerous pelvic exams, I was examined when I was put on birth control, physicals, tests, nothing show abnormalities. I have normal periods.


I can't be the only woman in the world with this problem, can I? Any help is appreciated.

the adverage of most surveys say that 70% of women don't have orgasms from sex alone. this is extremely normal. It wasn't until my 5th partner (my fiance now ) that i had an orgasm with another person and that wasn't from sex. I've realized it takes feeling comfortable with the person your with, as well as feeling strong enough to express what you want. Oral sex before actual intercourse is a great way to make sex feel better, but make sure you actually have an orgasm first. Sorry it is normal and it just takes some work from both you and they guy.
There is a reason our clitorous isn't in our vagina... think of how painful that would be during childbirth!!

Well, no orgasm I can understand, but I don't get any pleasure whatsoever. Same with oral sex.

i would have to say that they guy isn't doing it right sorry. If you can have an orgasm from masterbation then there is nothing wrong with your body. another problem may be just that you don't feel comfortable with the guys your with so you can't really relax enough to enjoy it. Every guy i had been with before didn't really know what he was doing either. alot of guys are turned on by girls that take the lead and know how to show them how to make you come. so it shouldn't be weird if you try manual stimulation during sex, doggy style and women on top are good positions for it.

Hi Luna Baby

My sister had the same issue. She didn't know what to think she thought their was something wrong w/her. I told her to get a real man we had some laughs at his expense. We talk about it since she thought something was wrong w/her, I ask for more details, if he was a WHAM kind of a guy she said NO! SOME don't seem like they are but they are. I also ask how deep did their relationship was, maybe she didn't care for him as much as she thinks to be on an intimate level w/him, ofcourse she said I love him, Long story short she cheated and what do you know the grl had the EXPERIENCE OF HER LIFE and 4X ORGASM in 1 night. You are fine you just need to find the right guy that will locate you're G-spot.

yes ladies I agree it takes the right kind of man to hit the right spot. I use to be jealous of women who could have multiple orgasms but not any more. Like the last comment I was dating a guy for about 3years. I enjoyed sex with him but I did not always have a orgasm. The other guy that entered my life around the same time as my ex was telling me about all things he enjoys doing in the bedroom, of course I became curious and very sexual attracted to him but I remained true to my boy friend at the time. As the relationship with my ex continued it got sooooooooo boring in bedroom. To make a long story short I cheated on my ex. Oh the other guy I meet is now My man ladies.

For the first time in my life I am with someone who can make my orgasm with just a simple touch. He excites every each of my body. Now I have orgasms all the time hip hip hooray.


Ok ladies if you have not reached your peak there is nothing wrong with you just find another man.

This is one of those points in which women have constantly
suffered the self doubt...it must be me.

A friend of mine, contra all the warnings, had her first
sexual experience with a guy I felt was married...

In bed, with the guy, time one, she realises he is married...
she is losing her virginity to a married man while his wife
is working.

The girl not only never had an orgasm, never had another
man, and decided she was Gay and went through a number
of women lovers...

I felt like shaking her, and shouting...YOu Did nothing Wrong!
(except not listen to me, but I left that part out) You Didn't
Beleive he was Married. You didn't think it would be your
first and most sordid moment....

But you see the problem wasn't just how ****py he did it,
it was the trailer load of **** surrounding the sex act which
so effected her....

(Yes, eventually she goes to a psychiatrist, but that's not
the point of this post).

The fact is, the whole environment surrounding sex is vital.
It's not just hype why some people go through the whole
long dinner with candles and wine and music and fancy
dress...because the Mind is the most important part in
a woman's orgasm.

Having sex in the back of car is something I never thought
of doing, and never would do...there's a furtiveness about
it that turns me off.

I don't want furtive sex, I was the bed, all the time in
the world, I want all the conveniences and all the preqs.

I can't even have orgasm with my ball & chain when he's
done something to annoy me and I'm trying for make up
sex, or forget it sex, or whatever it's called, because I
just don't feel loving towards him...(feel like I'd poke
out his eye)...

It's the mind.

And of course, the ****py technique some clowns
adopt which is such an instant turn off...

I agree. It is a huge difference when u are mentally connected with someone
It takes more than just physical attraction. If a man can stimulate me mentally on all levels it turns me own even more.

I tell ya ladies we have got to get better with our self esteem. We can't let one bad apple in the bunch ruin our lives. I hate the fact that your friends partner was married. A friend of mines had a similiar situation she asked the jerk was he married before they slept together of course he lied. To make a long story short he finally told her the truth she slept with him one more time and left him alone. I really hate it for her because she had been searching soooooooooooo long for man a she could connect with on all levels but he turned out to a a** hole.

My friend was 'sure' he wasn't married.
And of course, I was trying to 'spoil' everything
for her.

So, behind my back she goes home with him
during lunch break...into the house, into the
bed...oh yeah...and while she's there...she
sees...in the bathroom...a bra over the shower
rod...
she's a virgin...she's losing it...supposed to be
a big deal...bra over the shower rod...
And after the whole dismal interlude...cause
all she had was pain...in the bathroom...
now...
all the stuff in there...
and of course...
prescription medicine
with wifey poos name on it.

Further, a lot of men don't know how to
make love to a woman...
going like a jackhammer for two minutes..
no.

The romance has to be in the mind.