Thread: hubby cant get hard anymore

Guy's have a hard time getting erections under pressure, thats why they aren't all cut out to be porn stars (as much as they'd love to be lol). He know's your waiting for it to get erect, hes waiting for it to get erect and since hes focusing so much on that , he can't relax and enjoy the sensations enough to actually make it work.

If you are not "allowed" to give him foreplay, wow. Its no wonder he has trouble getting erections. Sex therepy ASAP. He can't will his penis hard, I don't think. I think that there needs to be some kind of tactile stimulation going on. If he wont let you touch it, maybe work on visual stimulation. Pop in a movie that is not an overt porn , that would be too obvious, but a regular movie that happens to have some hot sex scenes... I think unfaithful might be a good one

Maybe an impromptu lap dance or striptease if he is okay with something like that, while he foreplays himself? You are really up against a brick wall there cassie, it sounds like he's being difficult on purpose. Has he seen a medical doctor? Does he consume a lot of alcohol or on any antidepressents? If he is physically healthy, marriage counseling is really in order.

Edit to add I re-read and saw that you say he DOES like it done to himself, I misread and thought he DOESNT, whew, what a relief that would have been really a bad situation. Still just as bad that he thinks doing foreplay on you is disgusting Cassie. That cannot be good for your self esteem let alone your pleasure.

Not all men like to do oral, I've had friends whose husbands wouldnt, but they would do manual. Does he think using his hand on you is disgusting?

I don't know the whole "not allowed to play with yourself in front of him" he need s to lossen up.... OMG he 's gotta throw those limitations off.... that is some sever sexual blockage.

Are good girls not suppose to touch themselves??

try soft bondage... such as a blindfold and a scarf tied very lose around his writs. Take the sexual control and pressure off of him.

Maybe the sight and arm restraints will take the restraints off his mind....

if that is a no go he needs to get intouch with himself and speak to someone


good luck and remember this is not you.... this is his problem but together show him patience and support and get thru it.

In the meantime pleassure yourself when he isn't around.....

I'm not sure light bondage is a good idea - might just turn him off more. He seems really really inhibited.

I have a difficult time imagining thinking like that - I really enjoy sex and am open to a wide range of things, the blindfold and scarf idea sounds really exciting - to me. But to someone who is so repressed, it might sound "perverted".

I wish I knew what to do to help. My wife is also very shy in bed - though not nearly as bad as Cassie66's husband. But all I can really offer is sympathy - its miserable to have to live without an active sex life.

Then he is going to wonder why some day Cassie goes off and cheats on him.

I don't know how true, but I have heard that men that have had more self-stimulation than that of a female tend to be harder to please sexually because they are so use to the way they do it. What was the sex like when you were first together? Did it taper off slowly or is this behavior new? I am also curious if he has always been inhibited to touching you in any other way besides intercourse?