Thread: My wife has light fantasies about women!

I just think any spouse giving the other an approval for a casual fling is just arre. Is she naive to think, that it won't lead to more and possibly destroy what you have and built for the last 12 years. I wouldn't and couldn't give the love of my life that kind of freedom, to go out and have sex, just because I felt like fulfilling a fantasy. Some things just aren't worth it.

Originally Posted by Teamstef

Well, thanks again for your comments...

My wife and I did decide to go through with it and suprisingly enough, she found a girl on the web in a matter of a week with whom she has a lot in common. And after a lunch and a dinner, she came to our house and the threesome happened and it was great for both my wife and I. And we did 2 more times since with that same girl. Everything was clearly discussed before anyhting happened so there were no bad suprises. That other women had previous experiences when she was in a relationship. It was our first and I have to say, the fantasy was not better than the reality. So no complaints here. And whenever it ends, that will be it and it will be something else that my wife and I lived.

Lucky !!

I try and be open and honest with my hubby about my past sexuality and relationships. But I think I made a huge mistake ever telling him about past involvements with a handful of other women. Sometimes it seems to be all that he can think about and I know that he would love to have a threesome with me and a friend.

The problem is that, if I was to get involved with a woman again, I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing the event with hubbie. Even though he wouldn't participate, I just don't like the idea of him watching me with another woman who is also naked and sexually aroused. I'm not so naive as to think that he doesn't sneak a peak at the occasional porn magazine but that doesn't mean that I want him looking at or thinking about another naked woman. Even if I am in the room and he isn't participating I still wouldn't be comfortable.

I have been in an open relationship in the past that included threesomes on a few occasions and it can be an extremely risky change to a marriage. Jealousy eventually created issues that doomed that relationship and I am just not interested in taking that risk again. So for hubby and I, we can talk and fantasize about it in the bedroom and I'll get just as turned on as he does. But he realizes that it is going to have to remain fantasy rather than reality as I just can't handle the emotional aspects of such a situation.

I know I'm touching on a lot of points already mentioned, but I want to add my 2 cents too.

On one hand, I believe there are women out there who truly could have a momentary fling and it mean nothing more then meaningless sex. And that same person would go on with life content with their husband and never think twice about the woman they had a fling with. I personally could do that. I have had sex with a few women in my life just out of spur of the moment type situations (I was not married at that time) and I never really felt towards them the way I would about a man I was in a relationship with. For me, it really was just "recreational fun".

However, as others have said...

Such a situation is opening up doors to many bad possibilities. Anyone could easily fall in love with that person or become infatuated. We are only human after all. Doubts, suspicions, and trust issues have a very high chance of rearing their ugly head. The fact that you are even asking us if you should allow it to happen suggests that you would have trust or insecurity issues after the fact. It's nothing bad on your part, but just a natural response.

Having said that...

Even though I personally know I could have sex with a woman right now and never think twice about it after, and my husband would be totally turned on, I will NEVER cross that line because of the potential damage it could cause down the road. Something like that could destroy a marriage and no fling no matter how fantastic is worth losing that.

Well, I have to admit I had insecurities early on but now that me and my wife have done that quite a few times now, we both feel like, even if we already had a great relationship, these experiments have actually even brought us closer together, which I would not have tought possible. And with that second woman, it's actually a bit more than just sex, it's a nice friendship. And if anyone is walking on a risky path, I would have to say it's that second woman because she sometimes seems more emotionaly involved...But for me and my wife, we're on the same page which is great!