Don't be too hard on yourself, real woman have curves, flaws, and insecurities. Porn stars are like people who work in a pizza shop, they get it every day, so it isn't that big of a deal, but for us normals, we get excited about pizza when we get it.

When I feel insecure or scared about something, one thing that helps is closing my eyes and saying "I am not the first one, and I am not the last one, and if everyone else can throw their cautions to the wind, how can I think myself worse than all of the woman over thousands of years who have been comfortable". If you are with a man who is concerned about your thighs or your body, which likely won't change, you need to find a new man (I know you aren't with him, but if you find yourself in a relationship, and this is something someone says something to you about, remember you are a strong woman who deserves the best, like the rest of us deserve the best).

And remember, guys are JUST AS INSECURE!!! They get nervous, they may be afraid that they can't "rise to the occasion" or "do it right". They are concerned about their size, their girth, their bodies, if they are groomed properly, and I bet you wouldn't dare say something to one of them about ANY of this because a man's ego is a delicate thing when it comes to things "between the sheets". Most normal guys won't say anything to hurt your feelings (especially if they are about to get some...) and you can learn with him what you like and what you don't.

And remember, just about EVERYONE has sex, and we all came through just fine. It is enjoyable, pleasant, opens up a whole new realm of experience. Drunk sex is sort of rough, it doesn't have to be that way though, so don't base your past experiences on that alone. And, just a suggestion, maybe cut back on the porn? If you like it, that's one thing, but I wonder if it might be part of the cause of some of your insecurities with your body.