Thread: I am new and I really need help!!

hey guys..
So i m new to this forum and i wish I found this before..but here I am..
I am a 24 year old female and i have had sex only ONCE, yes you heard it right, just one time in my entire life.
You ask me why?
because I am insecure. The one time that I did have sex, I was really drunk so I let go my inhibitions. It was painful, i did bleed and the guy thought that I was on my periods. I did not enjoy it at all, it just hurt all the way. that was a year ago.
Now I am about to be 25, and I havent had sex, other than I enjoy masturbating every single day to porn and I love it, I love the orgasm. But now i ve started thinking, how long am i going to do this myself, and I want to discover the pleasure that comes from a man, maybe its different and even better?
I am insecure.. I am skinny on the waist and entire body, and I m not scared of exposing or having the guy play with any of my upper body, but when it comes to legs I am VERY inssecure. More specifically, I dont like that I have cellulite on my inner thighs and ...OH most importantly, the area between my legs below my vagina, is REALLY DARK.. I think its kinda gross and the guy would not go down on me because of it. my vagina is really dark compared to the rest of my body. this makes me really really insecure. i KNOW that eventually i will lose the fat on my thighs, but thats def gonna take a longgg time since it is my most problem area. s o yeah, i dont know if any other ladies have the same problem but I do. theres this guy who has been persistant abt dating me, and I m attacted to him too but i keep avoiding the topic because I think he will hate my body and ditch me later on. I would probably be ok having sex with lights turned off, but I ll feel really insecure witth him seeing my body. I remember that even when i had drunk sex, the guy kept turning on the light and I kept turning it off...I do not want to turn off the lights this time because I wonder what the guy will think. What should I do ladies? Should I just let go myself and go with the flow?I am scared of rejection and i m scared tat i will not enjoy it since im insecure about my body...
thankyou so much for reading this, and PLEASEE ladies, help me enjoy sex...for once.

Hi,

First thanks for sharing.

Im a guy... I have personally met many women who's area around there vagina are darker then the rest of the body.. It didn't bother me at all...I actually think it looks healthier...

When Im in the moment of passion I Never judge a women. If she has demonstrated enough positive traits to share my bed then she deserves to have a night of fantastic sex. Things like thighs legs hips vagina lips arms neck shoulders back are all part of a delicious meal. You have nothing to worry about

All men love to kiss a womens thighs. Trust me, Its nice to have something to work with.

As far as a womens perspective ill leave that to my ladies.

Good luck

Live laugh and love

As far as a womens perspective ill leave that to my ladies.

....uh huh....its true, he pretty much does have EVERY woman on this forum wrapped around his finger....and the cause you ask?....He refuses to tell us ONE LITTLE WORD...urrgh...love you LLL.

Kay...HI, They call me Ace...I dont remember why, but they do! So, Hey Im ace...( Im dragging on)

So...Im 19, and still a virgin. NOTHING wrong with it...but .....from what I hear...sex is great!
So what you have cellulite...If the guy is into you, he will not care! TRUST me.
If you are worried about the light, turn on a lamp...and throw an orange scarf over it....every body looks super hot in "orange lighting" (and NO...Im not going to tell you all how I know this stuff...lets just say Im a "guru?")

....just make sure the lamp doesnt get hot, and catchest the scarf on fire...
remember, honey...every body is different.
If you are worried about the pain, just take some Advil, or Tylenol.
DO not let your little bit of cellulite control your life. I am sure you are a stunning woman.

GO HAVE FUN!!!!

Yeah... Don't even freak. Men typically don't care about 95% of the things you listed. But if you care, you will show it. You won't appear confident at all, and that is most important.

Originally Posted by acerousme

....uh huh....its true, he pretty much does have EVERY woman on this forum wrapped around his finger....and the cause you ask?....He refuses to tell us ONE LITTLE WORD...urrgh...love you LLL.

What can I say I have big hands. haha

Every woman has body issues. Even the "hot" ones. They either think they are too fat or too thin, their breasts are too small or too big, or the areolas are too dark, or the areolas are out of proportion with the breast size, or the breasts have some asymmetry, perhaps even a whole bra size. Trust me, us guys have heard it all, and we don't care. We just want to get laid. We'd rather deal with a woman having less than a "Perfect 10" bod, then put up with someone who won't give us head. That's how we are.

Also, losing your virginity has several parts. The sex act itself is one part. But there's this whole other thing that no one tells you about. There are these unspoken rules of etiquette that revolve around just being naked with someone. For example the first time I made love, I was embarrassed to tell her that I needed to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to, you know, empty myself out before we got started.

Most men understand about women and their different body types. That's a big part of what makes it so much fun. It's the guy's job to put you at ease and help you relax. Like anything else related to sex, you will find that some guys are good at this while others may not be. And every now and then you will be lucky enough to find a man with a gift, someone who has enough experience with women to see that you have body issues and go out of his way to let you know that this is OK, and that you can trust him.

It really is all about trust. At some point you just have to trust the guy. Is there a risk that this trust might be misplaced? Yes, and that risk is part of sex. Actually it's a part of life.

You should also go to your Ob/Gyn and make sure your issues with tearing are 100% taken care of. Over time you get used to managing your body in such a way that you're prepared if someone should happen to see you naked that night.

Good luck with this.

Originally Posted by richard s

trust me, us guys have heard it all, and we don't care. We just want to get laid.

lol :d

Hi,

Being a virgin in adulthood isn't as uncommon as some people think, and it's perfectly justifiable. Insecurity and body images issues are something that a lot of people deal with, BUT if a guy really likes you...he won't care. That's why some sexperts say it's best to get to know the person before having sex with them.

If you're having a casual hook-up, I can understand why some people get worried about what the other person is thinking (Does he think I look fat? Does she think I suck in bed? Is he or she going to laugh about me to their friends?). In a healthy relationship, I would say that two people who love each other don't care about this stuff.


Good luck! Don't feel pressured to have sex, unless you're ready. Sex is a lot more fun when you're feeling secure with someone. Masturbation IS fun b/c you're secure and comfortable with yourself.

I agree with panera. get to know the person first. being naked with someone is a trust issue. it is much easier to be secure in being naked if you know him and trust him. believe me, if he likes you he isn't going to care if you have a little cellulite.
just from experience, if the guy doesn't like you the way you are, he isn't worth your time especially for something as emotionally connecting as sex.

If you find a guy who REALLY likes you, you can be comfortable enough that eventually you won't care. I also can be very insecure. I keep it under the sheets untill I'm confident enough that they enjoy having sex with me and really don't care what I look like. After enough guys you kinda get used to if you get as far as the bedroom, they aren't going to care about a little cellulite or whatever. As far as the color of you genitallia, if you trim your hair very short instead of shaving it, it won't show up as much. Hope that helps!