Thread: Presented with a four-way situation...(longish?)

My boyfriend has a best friend (he's also my very good friend) who has a girlfriend. This couple has been dating for about a year and a half now, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for around two months. We are 'sexually active' (lol) and my boyfriend knows what I like, and we're very familiar with each other in the bedroom.
Now, at this very moment my boyfriend is passed out on the other couples couch, and evidently earlier tonight (and a few weeks ago, actually) they were discussing having a four-way.
That's right, ladies, I could potentially have four-way intercourse with an adorable couple.
The other boy and I have known each other a few years, and we used to be next-door neighbors and sat with each other on the bus on the way to high school. We were pretty good friends, and while I never have had any real feelings for him, I've always wondered what it would be like to be with him. His girlfriend is very pretty, fair-skinned and has four foot long red hair (its prettier than it sounds, I promise. haha) Her and my boyfriend are good friends as well. Me and her have hung out a few times, obviously, and she's a pretty cool chick.
Here's where it gets fuzzy.
First of all, I'm half-nervous about having any 'relations' with them because of how good of friends my boyfriend and her are. And while I trust my boyfriend to respect me and also his best friends relationship with her, but I am afraid that he would enjoy things with her too much. Catch my drift?
Second of all, HOW THE TO FOUR-WAYS WORK?
Maybe I'm being stupid, but I kinda don't get it....
Do the couples just switch partners? I don't know. I'd like to get that cleared up. haha, google is rendering almost NO information about these kinds of things. Wow, I sound dumb, googling sex tips? Anyways...
Thirdly, I think I would almost be embarassed about...uhh.. my noises and level of intensity.
I'm very loud. We'll leave it at that. o.O aaaand I like things... rough?
I don't think rough is the right word... Is there a word out there that means way rougher than regular rough?
If there is, that's it. And I think that if I were to have 'relations' with this other couple, they might make fun of me about it later. Not to be mean, but because that's the type of people they are, and I wouldn't take it to mean anything more than they think it's funny that I'm a freak.
lol =/
can anyone help?

tl;dr-
four-way opportunity with other couple, I dont want my boyfriend to like it too much, I don't understand how four-ways work, and I'm embarassed cause I'm a freak in the sheets.
Any help at all?

hey sweetie..
I thinkk mosttt guys like it rough and the fact that you are loud means that you are not stiff, and put some feedback into what they are doing It is only natural to feel that they would judge you, but if you just be your self, confident and have fun then you might steal her bf ( in the sense that he would love it to do it with you)...know what I mean? I am sure the girl has her own insecurities, we girls all do
Oh I have no idea how the four way works is it an orgy or one on one..lol?
good luck, for the most part you should be fine so just go ahead!

There's ALOT to consider here.

First off, there is a rule that many lifestyle couples have, and that is to not play or try to convert your friends. Very rarely do these things work out well if they were friends and then you tried to take it to the next level. There are too many layers to the relationship that it can easily become very complicated.

If it is something you are interested in exploring, your best bet is to meet other people that are also interested in exploring, outside of your circle of friends. That sort of levels the playing field, and everyone is beginning the relationship for the same reasons.

If both you and the other couple were to then come together in the future, you both would have reached the same place independently of each other.

"And while I trust my boyfriend to respect me and also his best friends relationship with her, but I am afraid that he would enjoy things with her too much.

Catch my drift?

That is a serious conversation you need to have with your boyfriend, and allow him to voice his feelings and desires on the situation, and allow you to be comfortable with it.

"Do the couples just switch partners? I don't know. I'd like to get that cleared up. haha, google is rendering almost NO information about these kinds of things. Wow, I sound dumb, googling sex tips? Anyways...
Thirdly, I think I would almost be embarassed about...uhh.. my noises and level of intensity.
I'm very loud. We'll leave it at that. o.O aaaand I like things... rough?
I don't think rough is the right word... Is there a word out there that means way rougher than regular rough?"

If you did choose to follow through with your friends, then this would be a conversation to have with them beforehand, preferably over dinner, and on an evening where nothing would happen afterwards. This would give you an opportunity to discuss what could posibly happen in the future, lay it all on the table, how you all see it working, and what everyone's boundaries and expectations are, and have time to digest the information.

If it seems uncomfortable to have this type of conversation with them, then nothing past the conversation would probably work well either.

And.....the fantasy is usually far removed from the reality, especially the first time. Expect your boyfriend, and the other guy to freak out a bit, as women are typically more comfortable in this type of situation than guys realize, and that usually throws guys for a loop.

I'm not sure how graphic you can be without getting into trouble. I don't mean to be overly graphic but you don't understand how four ways can work so I'll give you a little visual.

An example: A man lies down on his back. One woman is hovering over his mouth so that he is providing her oral sex. The other woman is on her knees (all fours actually) giving the man lying down oral and then the final man is penetrating the woman (doggy-style) providing oral to the man lying down.

That is one possibility and there are many more.

As for your fear about him liking it to much, that is very valid and one reason I will never have a threesome (in a relationship and probably never) let alone a foursome. It can damage your relationship. I know that isn't something you want to hear but it is possible. Even with boundaries things can happen. It's definitely something you want to talk about extensively. If your gut is telling you know then trust your instincts.

I mean, "no."

I think that you know what you want. By the sound of it I dont think that you want to do this with this couple. Best thing to do is write out a pro and con list and look at what you feel. Write for 5 minutes straight and what ever you feel about the whole situation. Hope I helped!

Originally Posted by lolwtfalright

Second of all, HOW THE TO FOUR-WAYS WORK?
Maybe I'm being stupid, but I kinda don't get it....
Do the couples just switch partners? I don't know. I'd like to get that cleared up. haha, google is rendering almost NO information about these kinds of things. Wow, I sound dumb, googling sex tips?

Geez, this is the problem with America. We have mandatory "sex ed" and after several years of that still nobody has any clue how to strategize an orgy.

Here are some options (and of course, just like regular sex, you can do more than one thing if you have time.)

*Couple swap: This one is pretty straightforward.
*Soft Swap: Like a couple swap but limited to oral sex.
*3-on-1: One person is designated "center of attention". The other three join forces Voltron-style. If you've never gotten simulatious head from two people while the third is tossing your salad.... you'll be in for an experience.
*Oral sex round robin: Two persons go at it 69 fashion. The first person to finish steps out and is then replaced by a third and so on until everybody gets bored.
*Two people go at it, the other two watch & masturbate (or use the camera)
*Put all naked people into a pile and start licking whatever gets in front of your face.

I'm very loud. We'll leave it at that. o.O

Its sex not a library, loud is good.

aaaand I like things... rough?
I don't think rough is the right word... Is there a word out there that means way rougher than regular rough?

S&M, and all its various activities are typically best left out of group events with "vanilla" people. Then again having a contest as to who gives the best spanking or who can fit the most toes in their mouth is always a good way to break the ice at a sex party.

If there is, that's it. And I think that if I were to have 'relations' with this other couple, they might make fun of me about it later.

By having sex with new people the "other couple" has just as much to risk embarassment-wise as you. Erectile dysfunction, moles, hair....

I wouldn't recommend doing this with friends, too much to risk losing. You will always look at her and see your boyfriend having sex with her, or think about them thinking about it when they talk. Try with a couple who you have no emotional envolvement with... Ok, that sounds bad, I just mean people who are cool with it, not your best buddies.