Penis unable to fit inside me

michiko1 · 02-19-2009, 06:35 AM

I am 18 virgin. When I tried to have my first time sex with my ex-bf a year ago, we failed due to I am in a lot of pain. He also push it very hard but still unable to go in as I am too tight. He able to insert a finger but I felt uncomfortable, 2 fingers are impossible.
My current bf having a very very large penis. Since I have difficulties for an average penis, I don't think he is able to fit inside me.

Is it advisable to ask him just to shove it in? Will this hurt me a lot?

**WildChild** · 02-19-2009, 07:48 AM

You need to me more aroused and work into it. Lots of foreplay, lots more fingering - it should feel good not forced. Maybe some lube too.

**SinisterUrge** · 02-19-2009, 12:56 PM

Yes, try using generous amounts of lube and work your way upto his size with fingers and smaller toys first. About the only advise there is to give, other than find a less-well endowed BF.

**skipper** · 02-19-2009, 03:05 PM

Do you have a gyn you can talk to about this? There could be a physical problem.

Young guys are generally in a hurry. Slow down and enjoy yourself. This is your first time and you will always remember it so it should be as special as possible. You set the pace.

Relax, or try to. The first time is always filled w/ anxiety but it help if you are comfortable and relaxed. Buy some lube and lube each other up. It's great foreplay and lube really smooths the way.

Let him give you an orgasm with his hands or mouth before he trys to penetrate you. As you become more aroused, you may be able to accomodate a larger size.

Let him know you are worried and tell him he must stop if it begins to hurt you. Trust is paramount. You must know he will stop if you tell him to stop.

By all means, I certainly wouldn't let him shove it in. This is a recipe for disaster. It could really hurt you and he'll feel terrible if he does hurt you.

If he can't get it in, do other things for that session. Then make an appt w/ a gyn.

My wife is 30 something and she still finds 2 fingers uncomfortable unless she is really turned on. She had well endowed partners in the past and claims sex with them was always uncomfortable. So you might just be small down there and need to seek out smaller partners. A doc can tell you for sure and advise you on your options.

**Joy** · 02-19-2009, 03:24 PM

Talk to your BF tell him your concerns and make sure to let him know slow is the way to go. That you want him you just want him with as lil pain as possible. Lots of foreplay and lube as other have said. you don't need to be in a hurray to have him inside you fool around a bit get comfortable with each other... let the nerves and anixety calm down first. If you think its gonna hurt you will be all nerved up and it will. Relax let it happen naturally.
As others have said as well see your dr about this if you've tried everything and its still painful.

good luck have fun and enjoy!

kerapetse · 02-20-2009, 03:59 AM

I agree with everyone here,first time is never easy BUT with the right foreplay,getting well aroused,getting wet is never a problem for it to get snuggled in.Have at least 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay,be prepared emotionaly because if u keep remembering that its gonna be painful u will not let your body to relax,set your mind for sex & all should fall in places.My first time was not that painfull becuase i knew what i was going to do & my ex b/f made sure that i was wet before he penetrated.Setting the good mood for love making also eases your mind.Just be free,u will be fine & once u now know the taste of honey,u will want it now & again.Good luck girl

**marycate** · 02-20-2009, 04:11 AM

Ok I think everything said is spot on, however listen up!! I had the exact same problem, didn't hurt using tampons or a finger inside but sex, no way could my bf get inside so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had a strange hymin ( is that how you spell it) I needed a small op to fix my problem and I never looked back. He told we about 1 in 30 women have the problem I did so might be worth thinking about.
Good luck

**tasha_correa** · 02-20-2009, 09:45 AM

Personaly I dont recommend just shoving it in. I know because of personal experience... I had the same problem in the beging and when he just shoves it in it will hurt really really REALLY bad. It will tear you a bit too, there fore you will also hurt after wards. I agree with the other posts about lube and foreplay, and if that does not work try talking to your gyn about it. I know that it may be a bit embarassing to talk to the doc about it, but you are not the only one out there with this problem and the doc will help out alot.

jasminetea · 07-27-2009, 12:33 PM

When we started my boyfriend had trouble just getting his pinky in, and I was sure nothing bigger would ever fit. However, we worked up to two fingers and after a couple weeks attempted penetration (with good lube!) It hurt like crazy and he barely managed to get a couple inches in. Luckily for me he's extremely patient and gentle...although somewhat bigger than average.

After about four sessions of this (it got twice as easy each time) we recently got in all the way, and although initial entry still hurt I felt almost no pain during! My advice is to really take your time, use tons of lube, and don't expect it to work today, you can always try again later.

02-19-2009, 06:35 AM	#1
michiko1 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1	Penis unable to fit inside me I am 18 virgin. When I tried to have my first time sex with my ex-bf a year ago, we failed due to I am in a lot of pain. He also push it very hard but still unable to go in as I am too tight. He able to insert a finger but I felt uncomfortable, 2 fingers are impossible. My current bf having a very very large penis. Since I have difficulties for an average penis, I don't think he is able to fit inside me. Is it advisable to ask him just to shove it in? Will this hurt me a lot?

02-20-2009, 09:45 AM	#8
tasha_correa VIP Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 51	Personaly I dont recommend just shoving it in. I know because of personal experience... I had the same problem in the beging and when he just shoves it in it will hurt really really REALLY bad. It will tear you a bit too, there fore you will also hurt after wards. I agree with the other posts about lube and foreplay, and if that does not work try talking to your gyn about it. I know that it may be a bit embarassing to talk to the doc about it, but you are not the only one out there with this problem and the doc will help out alot. __________________ Life is like play dough, you mold it into what you want.

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02-19-2009, 07:48 AM	#2
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,230 Blog Entries: 5	You need to me more aroused and work into it. Lots of foreplay, lots more fingering - it should feel good not forced. Maybe some lube too.

02-19-2009, 12:56 PM	#3
SinisterUrge Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 423	Yes, try using generous amounts of lube and work your way upto his size with fingers and smaller toys first. About the only advise there is to give, other than find a less-well endowed BF.

02-19-2009, 03:05 PM	#4
skipper Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Pensacola Posts: 110	Do you have a gyn you can talk to about this? There could be a physical problem. Young guys are generally in a hurry. Slow down and enjoy yourself. This is your first time and you will always remember it so it should be as special as possible. You set the pace. Relax, or try to. The first time is always filled w/ anxiety but it help if you are comfortable and relaxed. Buy some lube and lube each other up. It's great foreplay and lube really smooths the way. Let him give you an orgasm with his hands or mouth before he trys to penetrate you. As you become more aroused, you may be able to accomodate a larger size. Let him know you are worried and tell him he must stop if it begins to hurt you. Trust is paramount. You must know he will stop if you tell him to stop. By all means, I certainly wouldn't let him shove it in. This is a recipe for disaster. It could really hurt you and he'll feel terrible if he does hurt you. If he can't get it in, do other things for that session. Then make an appt w/ a gyn. My wife is 30 something and she still finds 2 fingers uncomfortable unless she is really turned on. She had well endowed partners in the past and claims sex with them was always uncomfortable. So you might just be small down there and need to seek out smaller partners. A doc can tell you for sure and advise you on your options.

02-19-2009, 03:24 PM	#5
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	Talk to your BF tell him your concerns and make sure to let him know slow is the way to go. That you want him you just want him with as lil pain as possible. Lots of foreplay and lube as other have said. you don't need to be in a hurray to have him inside you fool around a bit get comfortable with each other... let the nerves and anixety calm down first. If you think its gonna hurt you will be all nerved up and it will. Relax let it happen naturally. As others have said as well see your dr about this if you've tried everything and its still painful. good luck have fun and enjoy!

02-20-2009, 03:59 AM	#6
kerapetse Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: South Africa Posts: 24	I agree with everyone here,first time is never easy BUT with the right foreplay,getting well aroused,getting wet is never a problem for it to get snuggled in.Have at least 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay,be prepared emotionaly because if u keep remembering that its gonna be painful u will not let your body to relax,set your mind for sex & all should fall in places.My first time was not that painfull becuase i knew what i was going to do & my ex b/f made sure that i was wet before he penetrated.Setting the good mood for love making also eases your mind.Just be free,u will be fine & once u now know the taste of honey,u will want it now & again.Good luck girl

02-20-2009, 04:11 AM	#7
marycate VIP Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 32	Ok I think everything said is spot on, however listen up!! I had the exact same problem, didn't hurt using tampons or a finger inside but sex, no way could my bf get inside so I went to the doctor. Turned out I had a strange hymin ( is that how you spell it) I needed a small op to fix my problem and I never looked back. He told we about 1 in 30 women have the problem I did so might be worth thinking about. Good luck

07-27-2009, 12:33 PM	#9
jasminetea Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	When we started my boyfriend had trouble just getting his pinky in, and I was sure nothing bigger would ever fit. However, we worked up to two fingers and after a couple weeks attempted penetration (with good lube!) It hurt like crazy and he barely managed to get a couple inches in. Luckily for me he's extremely patient and gentle...although somewhat bigger than average. After about four sessions of this (it got twice as easy each time) we recently got in all the way, and although initial entry still hurt I felt almost no pain during! My advice is to really take your time, use tons of lube, and don't expect it to work today, you can always try again later.