My hands are no problem, he loves me to play with him or masturbate him. We're TOTAL open talking and that isn't a problem. Just any teeth being near there really freaks him. When I said extreme pain, I'm talking he was hurt by both to the point of bleeding.
I've been the subject of ridicule amongst a lot of my friends for being anti-blowjob (predictably my guy mates) - but I think you need to figure out why they disgust you - apart from the whole spoog-in-your-mouth thing.
For me it's that I find it incredibly submissive, and need to really trust the guy or be in love with them. I met an incredible guy who doesn't ever make me feel like I have to, and because I like him so much, I really don't mind doing it now.
Most guys would settle for once a year on their birthday, if they knew she was giving it from her heart. There's nothing wrong in sex with "taking one for the team". As others have said you'd be surprised how emotional this can be for a guy.
Just try to keep an open mind about it. You may also want to look at a few porn sites that have video clips of women giving head. Pay attention to the way they reveal their personalities, how each has their own style, and I'm talking about both "pro" and "amateur" videos. Make an effort to understand it from the giving perspective.
Blowjobs are all about showing tenderness to a man, and making him feel like his penis is precious to you. It's also about taking erotic pleasure in the one thing the guy gets to do in reproduction, that is deliver the sperm. Let him know it turns you on to make him come.
You need to get your mind in the right place if you expect to make any progress on this. And there's nothing wrong with faking it, that is, just pretend like you're a porn actress and see how it feels to service him. Think of it as an experiment. I mean, that's what I did when I was learning how to give oral to woman. But as soon as I saw her melt into orgasm the first time it stopped being a chore and started being an act of love. I haven't looked back ever since.
Thank you so much for the feedback! After reading all the posts, I went and talked to my boy about the situation. Since the relationship is fairly new, he told me that he wasn't about to force me to do anything and that I shouldn't feel like I have to. He said it was important to him that I was both comfortable and happy.
Originally Posted by poornashetty
I'm curious in what way you find it submissive? On who's part? The man is trusting you with the most sensitive part of his body, you could hurt him badly - somehow I have the feeling this isn't what you are thinking of? A BJ is a gift, unless you have the mental association between your own satisfaction and going down on him, it isn't at all about you, it's about pleasuring him. Seeing the pleasure on his face and feeling it in his body can be a very pleasurable experience for you as the giver. It's all about attitude.
I find it very submissive too but I like that (but I have to really at least like the guy, if not love him). I suppose it might also depend on what position we are doing it in, as to which of us feels most submissive. This may sound dumb or weird, but giving a bj to a man that I am really in to is the one single thing that makes me feel the most feminine. For some women it might be wearing heels and a sexy dress, or dancing with the man they love, or getting their nails done but not for me. Going down on a man helps me feel submissive and feminine, when I don't necessarily act that way in my daily life.
My ex demanded it, I wasn't comfortable with it (we were very young), he got angry, I was more determined not to. Get the idea?
new husband, omg, he about cried the first weekend we spent together and I decided to try it, he let me know when he was about to cum so I could make the choice, didn't complain :-) , yep, wonderful experience!
I sort of had to lie and deny him what he likes most for a couple days, but finally got to give my guy oral till he got off. I'd mentioned his fear and problems with it in this thread but solved it. Even though it was not the most honest solution, I felt like it was good for our relationship. And he still made me laugh.
Since he's so into equality, I finally told him I felt denied since I let him give me oral whenever he wants (which is pretty much if he's awake). So it seemed fair we both did or didn't. His brain was scrambeled for the first day but the next morning he let me take him in my mouth for a couple minutes, even though he was scared as can be and didn't react. He dove on me after and think he just "put up with it" so he could go back to eating me again. So I only let him as long as he let me. I stopped him when I got ready to cum and that tore him up.
This whole thing lasted the last few days. If he headed down, I made him let me have him first. He pretty much figured out if he wanted to have me like before, he had to give into me the same way.
This morning, at age 44, my guy released in a woman's mouth for the first time. I've wanted him that way for over 3 years and aside from the physical and other emotion parts, at 33 I got to be his "first" in something. I can't remember enjoying taking any guy more, his whole body shook and trembeled like no reaction I ever got. I had all the control and he lost all his, it was sweet. His fingers ripped our sheets where he held on with his hands
About 90% of the time he cums the same volume, and the other 10% he does more if especially cranked up or motivated. He exploded in the 10% catagory and screamed loud enough I expected our little old lady neighbor to knock on the door. It took a lot for me to not laugh at his scream and concentrate on swallowing him. But it was great hearing him and then holding him afterwards while he gasped for breath. I never saw a guy perspire on his chest and forhead from straining so hard once we hit the home stretch. I already know he still won't ever ask for it. But when I want to, he'll let me. How do I know my sweetie won't ask for it ?
I got roses early this afternoon with a card that said "Baby, I'm so sorry I came so much in your mouth, I didn't try to."
My man may think a little wierd at times, but I love that part as much as everything else about him. He gave me my roses with hugs and kisses. Then all he wanted all afternoon was to give ME oral. He's my little living vibrator (no batteries needed)Mission accomplished.
I was never able to give someone I wasn't in love with oral. I don't know I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Now I love doing it for my husband. I love to see how excited he gets and how much he enjoys it. It is your choice. You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with. I would wait until you want to do it. And yes, there are some of us out there that want to do it.
Wow Steph what a beautiful post, reading it made my day! Guess you guys have now entered a new level in the trust department, you will both reap the rewards. Its such an beautiful thing to watch your partner in a state of that pleasure isn't it!
Posting Permissions
Connect with Facebook
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks