Blow jobs and the problem i have with them (Please help)

Twinklingstar40 · 02-21-2009, 06:14 PM

OK. So here's an embarrassing question: If blow jobs disgust me, should I even bother? Can't we just skip right to the sex for now until I'm more comfortable with both the guy and the idea of oral sex?

(Do I have this backwards or is this normal?)

Any feedback would be great!
Thanks.

Mooby · 02-21-2009, 10:05 PM

You shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with. If you haven't already had sex and want to, go for it. But if giving head disgusts you, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think you have anything backwards. You just do what you're okay with when you're ready for it. Besides, while I know guys love getting blow jobs, I'm fairly positive they like sex better anyway.

**kms** · 02-21-2009, 10:24 PM

I used to be incredibly disgusted by giving blow jobs... I finally gave in after a while with my bf, but he still didn't enjoy it fully (even though I was giving it my all) because he knew I didn't like it. Finally he explained to me how much it meant to him to see me enjoying it, to desire that part of his body (a very vulnerable area that is essential a lot of guys' egos!), and how close he felt to me if I had it in my mouth (semen included). To him it was a visible affirmation of my love for him. By rejecting and disliking doing that for him, it was as though I were rejecting him. When I understood the significance behind it, my whole perspective changed and I saw it completely differently. I didn't have a problem any more doing it since I realized it was a highly meaningful action - and am now even able to let him cum in my mouth (I don't swallow it though, still not sure about that yet...).

If you have trouble with him cumming in your mouth, try using an edible lubricant that has a numbing effect on your mouth (so that you don't really feel or taste his semen). It works really well, believe me.

I have Great Head by Pure Romance, cinnamon flavored.

Anyway, basically the action itself may not be all that appealing, but if you focus on the significance it has, that may help you to reframe your perspective on it.

**rcoreyus** · 02-21-2009, 11:23 PM

I agree with other posters that you shouldn't do anything you don't want. But be aware that oral is very important to some men. They may not be able to verbalize (or even understand) why, but it matters to them.

kassy35146 · 02-21-2009, 11:33 PM

like what the other person was saying i mean guys love for you to show them you want it and is enjoying it and yes i hate giving blow jobs too but if you try to have fun and yes flavored lube does help alot

nsharonew · 02-22-2009, 08:17 AM

If you don't like it, he will know. It will be a turn off for him if he knows you are doing something that makes you uncomfortable, part of oral sex is the closeness it provides (and I guess it feels sort of good for them too, lol). Basically, one of the hottest things for a guy is watching his woman ENJOY herself, I have read a LOT on this and it's true with most men. If you aren't down there seriously enjoying yourself, it will ruin it for the both of you.

What is it that disgusts you about it?

**Steph33** · 02-22-2009, 09:14 AM

Interesting how opposite some people's issues are. Early in his dating time my BF was bit or chewed on by the first 2 women who gave him oral causing him extreme pain. Since then he is simply scared to let anyone give him oral, a mental block to protect himself I guess. I've tried tons of times but he gets so nervous and tense he losses his erection if he feels my mouth getting to close down there. It's the only sex problem I think we have. He gives me oral daily and totally loves to.

After 3 years I've still NEVER had him in my mouth and it frustrates me a bit sometimes emotionally aside from the fact he has a handsome penis I'd like to have that way. I love him deeply so wish I could do or say SOMETHING so he'd let me get him off orally. Obviously I would never hurt him like the 2 morons who treated him like a chew toy and I've told him that. If he climaxed that way once he'd probably totally love it like men do. I'm 33 and he's 44 and he has NEVER cum in any partner's mouth. Regardless of taste, to me it's a close and personal thing so I've always swallowed. For all men it means something to them if you swallow even if they can't explain what or why. If my guy would give me a chance I'd happily drain him till his skull caved in simply because I adore him so much. Anyone else have a guy who NEVER asks for or wants oral given to him ?

**SinisterUrge** · 02-22-2009, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steph33

Early in his dating time my BF was bit or chewed on by the first 2 women who gave him oral causing him extreme pain.

Goog god, what kind of wolves are they hiring to teach children sex-ed in schools? Biting?!?!

Mooby · 02-22-2009, 08:20 PM

Seriously. I don't know how you could convince him to let you go down on him. I do see how that could give him problems considering it. I don't know, I really don't mind oral sex at all. When I was younger, the idea made me feel kinda gross until I actually experienced it (on both the receiving and giving ends) and love it now. My boyfriend is the same way. I'm sure you've tried to explain to him that you're not a penis-hungry vampire. I'm sure one day he'll realize that.

**WildChild** · 02-22-2009, 08:37 PM

Steph way not try talking about it? Tell him you won't take him in your mouth unless he wants but you would like to lick and kiss and use your hands. You can run your wet lips and tongue up and over and down the other side and find plenty to do without actually blowing him. Given time I bet he'll start to feel more comfortable with it and you can go from there.

02-21-2009, 06:14 PM	#1
Twinklingstar40 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2	Blow jobs and the problem i have with them (Please help) OK. So here's an embarrassing question: If blow jobs disgust me, should I even bother? Can't we just skip right to the sex for now until I'm more comfortable with both the guy and the idea of oral sex? (Do I have this backwards or is this normal?) Any feedback would be great! Thanks.

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02-21-2009, 10:05 PM	#2
Mooby Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 8	You shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with. If you haven't already had sex and want to, go for it. But if giving head disgusts you, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think you have anything backwards. You just do what you're okay with when you're ready for it. Besides, while I know guys love getting blow jobs, I'm fairly positive they like sex better anyway.

02-21-2009, 10:24 PM	#3
kms Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 269	I used to be incredibly disgusted by giving blow jobs... I finally gave in after a while with my bf, but he still didn't enjoy it fully (even though I was giving it my all) because he knew I didn't like it. Finally he explained to me how much it meant to him to see me enjoying it, to desire that part of his body (a very vulnerable area that is essential a lot of guys' egos!), and how close he felt to me if I had it in my mouth (semen included). To him it was a visible affirmation of my love for him. By rejecting and disliking doing that for him, it was as though I were rejecting him. When I understood the significance behind it, my whole perspective changed and I saw it completely differently. I didn't have a problem any more doing it since I realized it was a highly meaningful action - and am now even able to let him cum in my mouth (I don't swallow it though, still not sure about that yet...). If you have trouble with him cumming in your mouth, try using an edible lubricant that has a numbing effect on your mouth (so that you don't really feel or taste his semen). It works really well, believe me. I have Great Head by Pure Romance, cinnamon flavored. Anyway, basically the action itself may not be all that appealing, but if you focus on the significance it has, that may help you to reframe your perspective on it.

02-21-2009, 11:23 PM	#4
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,716	I agree with other posters that you shouldn't do anything you don't want. But be aware that oral is very important to some men. They may not be able to verbalize (or even understand) why, but it matters to them.

02-21-2009, 11:33 PM	#5
kassy35146 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 4	like what the other person was saying i mean guys love for you to show them you want it and is enjoying it and yes i hate giving blow jobs too but if you try to have fun and yes flavored lube does help alot

02-22-2009, 08:17 AM	#6
nsharonew Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 24	If you don't like it, he will know. It will be a turn off for him if he knows you are doing something that makes you uncomfortable, part of oral sex is the closeness it provides (and I guess it feels sort of good for them too, lol). Basically, one of the hottest things for a guy is watching his woman ENJOY herself, I have read a LOT on this and it's true with most men. If you aren't down there seriously enjoying yourself, it will ruin it for the both of you. What is it that disgusts you about it?

02-22-2009, 09:14 AM	#7
Steph33 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 289	Interesting how opposite some people's issues are. Early in his dating time my BF was bit or chewed on by the first 2 women who gave him oral causing him extreme pain. Since then he is simply scared to let anyone give him oral, a mental block to protect himself I guess. I've tried tons of times but he gets so nervous and tense he losses his erection if he feels my mouth getting to close down there. It's the only sex problem I think we have. He gives me oral daily and totally loves to. After 3 years I've still NEVER had him in my mouth and it frustrates me a bit sometimes emotionally aside from the fact he has a handsome penis I'd like to have that way. I love him deeply so wish I could do or say SOMETHING so he'd let me get him off orally. Obviously I would never hurt him like the 2 morons who treated him like a chew toy and I've told him that. If he climaxed that way once he'd probably totally love it like men do. I'm 33 and he's 44 and he has NEVER cum in any partner's mouth. Regardless of taste, to me it's a close and personal thing so I've always swallowed. For all men it means something to them if you swallow even if they can't explain what or why. If my guy would give me a chance I'd happily drain him till his skull caved in simply because I adore him so much. Anyone else have a guy who NEVER asks for or wants oral given to him ?

02-22-2009, 08:20 PM	#9
Mooby Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 8	Seriously. I don't know how you could convince him to let you go down on him. I do see how that could give him problems considering it. I don't know, I really don't mind oral sex at all. When I was younger, the idea made me feel kinda gross until I actually experienced it (on both the receiving and giving ends) and love it now. My boyfriend is the same way. I'm sure you've tried to explain to him that you're not a penis-hungry vampire. I'm sure one day he'll realize that.

02-22-2009, 08:37 PM	#10
WildChild WH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 8,586 Blog Entries: 6	Steph way not try talking about it? Tell him you won't take him in your mouth unless he wants but you would like to lick and kiss and use your hands. You can run your wet lips and tongue up and over and down the other side and find plenty to do without actually blowing him. Given time I bet he'll start to feel more comfortable with it and you can go from there.