Thread: No Libido!!!!

Does anybody have any suggestions for libido/sex enhancement products that work? I am 46 years old and have no libido. Please help. My husband would appreciate it.

Do you not enjoy sex, have no desire for sex or both?

Google "Goji juice", or go to your doctor and ask about medication containing testosterone.

Just no desire for sex - I also have a hard time having an orgasm. I will try the Goji juice google.

I've not used it myself, but I've seen it recommended over and over again.

It's worth remembering that even without orgasm sex can be very enjoyable. Many women need to teach themselves to orgasm before they can orgasm with a partner.

I just want the be "horny" for once. My husband is always in the mood but I am not. I never have the feeling or need for intercourse?

At least you know its like. I've been sexually active for years and have never even come close to orgasm or knowing what it feels like to even have a libido.

I have a similar issue- My husband was the first & only man to make me orgasm by sex. But I still had a low sex drive --

I began taking bladderwrack a few days ago for weightloss support, and i have been through the roof. That is actually what made me join this forum b/c I wanted to know if anyone else has taken it and been seconds away from humping the arm of the couch. Its so weird b/c I dont normally want sex even though my husband is GREAT at it.


Check with your doctor, I read that it has been used as an aphrodisiac, I dont buy into that stuff but in this case its true.

I know we're not the only one's who are experiencing the same thing. I've been married for 13 years and together in total for 14 years. Before we were married and after our honeymoon we were at it like rabbits. I feel pregnant 3 months after being married and ever since the day I gave birth we just don't have sex. I guess I take most of the blame. It's almost like I had a purpose to have sex and now I don't. The few times that we did do it after my 12 year old was born, he couldn't keep it hard for long so there I was saying "It's OK don't worry about it" but inside I was cursing him and wondering why I even bother going through the whole thing cos I just wasn't getting any pleasure from it. I feel the longer and longer it got that we didn't "do it" that it just became the norm. Every now and again I might get the urge but don't follow through on it. I sometimes would like to roll over in bed and have a hug, kiss and a little bit more but don't incase he thinks it's an invitation to sex.

I am about the same age as you Teresa and am pleased to say I have a very high libido now, not always the case.
I work as a personal trainer in a women's gym and as I have said before have seen hundreds of women of all ages improve their libido. Its not something I bring up to women in my job but after about 6 weeks of training they will say "guess what's happening to me now"
Work very hard on you pelvic floor exercises like about 30mins off and on during every day, while at traffic lights, watching TV etc. Work on getting fit, I hate to say this but I can usually tell what a women's libido is by looking at her middle. Tummy fat is a no no, it can show your liver is a bit on the slow side and it in the liver all your hormones are processed. I work out 6 times per week plus what I do when working.
Eat a very good diet and cut out a many bad carbs as you can, eat veges and low fat protein and PLEASE start every day with some sort of protein like an egg.
Hows you zinc levels? get it checked, I take vit B, zinc and fish oil every day. I also drink soy milk and flaxseed oil on my salads as these things help our hormones or what we have left of them lol. Your liver needs water to work so PLEASE drink 6 glasses of water every day, studies have shown that if someone changes nothing in diet and exercise but increases drinks water to six glasses if they didn't before they loose a mall amount of weight because the liver is working better. If you are a tiny person for whom weight loss is not needed still go to the gym and please do some weight work as this has a good effect on your hormones. It took me about 9 months of working very hard on my health to turn around my sex drive. I might also add that my gyn told me to "Pleasure myself" as much as I could as this helps the tissues inside the vagina of women our age Two years ago i suffered for peri menopause symptoms and was starting to feel my age. In jan my gyn told me my internal health of my sex organs had gone backwards in time by about 25 years.
My husband and I have sex about 4 times per week and I will cum about 3 times per session plus a G spot one as well. Two years ago it took about 40 mins of clit stimulation and we had sex twice a month. I cant wait to get my husband to bed now and boy my husband is happy.
Doctors can help too but I worry about side effects of drugs too much to go down that road.

Theresa, I'm right there with you, sort of. I"m 51, through menopause, have 3 children (2 in college, 1 HS). Despite the kids' ages they still take an enormous amt of time and energy.

My libido has been a complaint of mine and my husbands for many years...Doctor says stress, fatigue, kids all contribute. I say "Duh, I know that, but what can be done about it?". Still don't have an answer.

I love my husband, and he me. We have what is otherwise a great relationship and I think we both make each other a better person. BUT, and this is BIG for him, sex is too infrequent, and he says I don't care enough about it. He says 1x/week is barely acceptable, less is not. I say we prob. hit almost 1x/wk, on average, esp. when you take into consideration the time we spend away from one another (visiting kids, one of us home with #3, the other on the visit, and his recreational trips).

I would LOVE to have his libido! Orgasm is generally not a prob. for me, though sometimes I'm too low on energy to make the effort. So it's not the ability to have a satisfying sexual experience, it's the lack of motivation, desire and initiative.

Mary Cate's suggestion of the gym is a good one, but in my case it seems only to stem the tide of a middle age body setting in. I am, and always have been, very fit and very active but my genetic predisposition of becoming an "apple" is tough to stave off. I KNOW that my body is part of MY problem, if I was as lean a machine as I used to be things would no doubt be different. I was a gymnast, so I'm coming from a pretty high standard. Many would love to have my body, but I, and my husband, know it isn't what it used to be and that's a bit of a turn off for me. As a matter of fact, when discussing our (lack of) sex life this morning my husband said "am I going to have to wait until my second life for sex and affection from a hard body"? He swears that he didn't mean that, but it pretty much ended my participation in the discussion...I got up and left.

Enough of that history. I'd like to know how to increase my libido. I work out, take a multi vitamin, I masturbate on occasion. (actually, writing this helps got a tingle going) It just doesn't seem to translate into bedtime hour zing! I've told hubby many times that he sould make a trip home mid-day for me...my energy level is higher then, at night I"m pretty bushed (no pun intended!)

One other frustration I've had for the 26 yrs of our marriage/27 of sex (!!) is that he lasts long enough with foreplay, but the moment that penis moves inside, it's all over. In all those years that has been a constant, which is a frustration for me. Maybe someone has a suggestion for that.

Also would like to know how post-menopausal women deal most effectively, and not too grossly, with vaginal dryness.

I'm sorry this post is more about MY problems and has no solution for YOUR problems. I guess misery loves company.