BD....yup.
Well, him and I talked last night at my place of work for a bit...he says that he's never had feelings like these for a woman, and it makes him feel "inadequate"
....aweeee.....lol....he is coming over tomorrow morning to take me to my friends funeral...that will help us grow, i'm sure.
Ha, that's such a line to deal with his "under-performance".Originally Posted by acerousme
A guy feeling vulnerable will say just about anything. I see it as an attempt to make you feel guilty/responsible for his "inadequacy".
As long as you're growing emotionally, the sex will come.....and if it doesn't ever seem to improve then you'll be faced with a decision in the long run. Do I love this person enough to have unsatisfying sex for the rest of my life?
I really think you should try the whole directing his talking from himself to you. I find it quite nice for a guy to talk dirty to me, and I'd certainly rather he talk to me than his "buddy". Yikes.
I don't think he's necessarily trying to lay you with guilt for his underperformance. I'd say that he doesn't know exactly why this is happening, but perhaps he is quite taken with you and it makes him feel even more pressured to do well. And even if that's not the case, he turned it into a way to compliment you, so good for him.
As others have said, you're inexperienced too so perhaps that's why you're looking for your partner to take control, so it takes some of the pressure off of you. But truthfully, you know more than ANYONE else what you want and how you want it and the best thing to do is take charge, SHOW him what you want.
wellll....
to be honest...Im actually REALLY good in bed...lol. Must be from reading too many graphic novels or something?!?!
but every time we touch...he gets tense...its NOT AS BAD as it was...but its still there.
uhm......
Okay...so here is another question...how much sex is tooo much?? lmao.
He sounds terrific ace, he really does. No tongue in cheek there, I like this guy! He poked you in the eye (on accident) with his penis, and still had the nerve to take his pants off around you again haha. He has guts and is not put off by the fact that even he likely he knows hes awful yet at sex. He is nervous is all is what it sounds like to me.
Practice makes perfect, at least he is trying and he is making you laugh and while sometimes its frustrating the approach he is taking to his fumbling is heartwarming. He is into you enough that he is willing to embarrass himself over and over in attempts to please you, you have yourself what we call a "keeper".
His eagerness to keep trying will pay off to you in the long run, patience my dear! If neither of you is opposed, rent a dirty movie, even just some late night cinemax, sit together and watch - laugh and joke around. Get up close to the screen and add some madden like commentary.. " do you see the way he's holding her leg... i'd like to try that" etc. "I wonder if that would feel good" " you better not ever put it there, mister!" etc etc. Have fun with it and use it for some sex education!
It really can be frustrasting I am sure to be with a guy that doesn't know your clit from your elbow but he'll get there!!!
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
I'd have to say that as long as you're both into it and up for it, there's no such thing as too much.
Sounds like the guy just needs practice. A lot. Just keep making yourself available to him. He needs to build up experience. You sort of have a job to do here. You need to have the right attitude about being his first GF.
You'd be surprised, if you knew what it's like for a guy. At first, all the new sensory input just feels like being on overload all the time. It takes time to integrate the experience into your personality so you just start acting like a normal guy about sex.
It's OK to ask him to stop the whole self-talk thing.
And there's no such thing as too much. If you have a private place, like your own apartment, it's OK to just spend the whole weekend in bed together if that's what you both want. We all did stuff like that in our 20's. Now it's your turn.
*snicker*
Sadly...he stopped calling for a while....really upset me...but I woke up today to a voicemail on my cell phone from him, stating that he misses me, and would like to come over later....hmmmmm.
yes...20...my turn...hmm, spending the whole weekend in bed....not a bad idea........
Ah the good old days, enjoy while you can! You'll be surprised how much they slow down as they get older but they should get better in the process so it balances out.
The two of you can play and explore and have fun, he'll calm down and get more into it over time and so will you.
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